THE WHOLE TOOTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TOOTH

[Guest guest]

Hi,

since Fiona has her first wobbly tooth and it will probably last only a few

weeks until the Tooth Fairy arrives here for the first time, this story came

at the right time.

Peace

Torsten, dad of Fiona 5wcf

e-mail: torstenkrafft@...

THE WHOLE TOOTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TOOTH

By

I am in trouble with my wife again. Though this time, thank

goodness, I can blame the tooth fairy.

Our son Jack, 6, lost his first tooth recently.

Unfortunately for me, was away for a few days and I was Mr Mom.

No big deal.

I felt quite qualified to handle the situation.

I am 44 and I have had lots of dealings with the tooth fairy - albeit a

long time ago as the loser of teeth and gainer of the tooth fairy's hard

earned cash.

I cannot remember getting more than five cents a unit whenever I lost one

of my baby teeth.

This seemed to be the going rate in the neighbourhood, so I never

complained.

Well, not about market forces anyway.

I had a few more grumbles about the forces that come about from the law of

physics when a piece of string is tied between a wobbly tooth and the knob

of an open door.

In generations to come, this practice will most likely be frowned upon as a

particularly barbaric act grown-ups inflicted on innocent young children.

Once the wobbly tooth and doorknob were attached with string, the trembling

child was cleverly distracted and the door was slammed shut.

If all went well, the tooth was extracted and the child howled.

If it was botched, the doorknob flew across the room, throttling the child,

who howled even more loudly.

But as the responsible adult in the vicinity always claimed at the time:

" It'll only hurt for a few minutes, dear. Just think of the money the tooth

fairy will leave you. "

In the mid 1960s, you could buy a lot of lollies with five cents.

With any luck, these would hasten the demise of another tooth and you could

reinvest your money.

I was horrified to find out a couple of years ago that the going rate for

teeth in my neighbourhood had increased somewhat.

It is something I had never even worried about until a neighbour's child

proudly displayed a new gap in her teeth to me.

" Wow! " I said. " Did the tooth fairy come to your house? "

" Yes, " she said.

" What did you get? " I asked in mock excitement. I suspected inflation had

probably worked its way into the tooth fairy business. Perhaps it was as

much as $1.10 now, with the advent of Goods and Services Tax.

" The tooth fairy left a card, " the girl said. " And $20. "

Twenty dollars!

I could not believe it.

For a single tooth!

Not a gold tooth.

Nor a diamond-studded tooth.

Twenty dollars for an ordinary garden-variety child's baby tooth.

Do you know how much a child of six stands to earn at that rate?

I didn't either, so I looked it up in an encyclopedia which told me that

children have 20 baby teeth.

Um, let's see. Twenty teeth times twenty dollars is $400!

I was too shocked to ask the girl how the tooth fairy transaction was done.

By cheque, electronic transfer, unmarked $1 bills left in a railway station

locker?

In my day, we used to put the tooth or the doorknob in a glass of water and

leave it on our bedside table.

We would wake up the next day, the glass would be gone and in its place we

would find a shiny five cent piece.

So that's what I did with Jack.

We left the tooth in water and at 6am the next day he woke me with the news

that the tooth had been replaced by a shiny $2 coin.

" $2! " said on her return, glaring at me. " I thought we had agreed

on $1. "

" Yes, " I said. " But it's not my fault. Honestly. It's the only change the

tooth fairy had. "

©October 14, 2002, .

All Rights Reserved

Down Under, But Not Out

http://johnmartin.actweb.net

updated from The Tooth Fairy Revisted, February 5, 2001

Regards,

......................................................

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