Liam Feeding/ thanks

[Guest guest]

aaaaaaaaa blisssss I have just had the most relaxing breastfeed with Liam, it

went so well, couldnt believe it. We had a deep bath together and he started

feeding in the bath, of course there was no enzymes in site so couldnt just zap

off to get them. I just thought at least he is feeding well. All was going

beautifully when he did this HUGE shit in the bath, ewww yuck!!! We had very

yellow water. I quickly emptyed the bath and turned the shower on and we had a

shower together. What an experience bathing in runny yellow baby POO. Wraped

him up and we went to lay on the bed to finish his feed. Well he went on to

both breasts again for a about 15 mins. It was so so nice to feel that

conection with him and not be stressed about is he getting enough and whats

wrong with him/me/my milk. etc.......

I feed him to sleep and now I am happy tonight and so is he I think.

Thanks for all your support in this hard but wonderful journey of being a

mother, I am really enjoying the fact that this time I got to keep my baby and I

can feel like a real mother this time. It was so hard to have immense joy and

sorow blended into one massive wirlwind.

Having Liam to hold everyday reminds me that I am so blessed to have this

precious angel, to be his gardian till he is old enough to fend for him self. I

love being a mum, someimes I wish my Lily was still here and that I could have

mothered her too but in a way I am glad she is in heaven and doesnt have to feel

pain and be sick and live in a fallen world where life isnt perfect and

sometimes not fair.

Alas we dont really know the bigger picture, there is a reason for everything,

even what we deem bad or unfair.

Hope you guys dont mind me going on sometimes its nice to share and get things

out.

mum to baby Liam nearly 16 weeks and Lily Madison died at only 8

days old in our arms as we took turns holding her for the last 12 hours of her

life.