Re: 9 1/2 year old exposes herself to my 4 year old, i dont know ...

[Guest guest]

,

It sounds like this has been a rough week for your family.But... from

someone who's been there, dealt with that... heres the process as I know it.

1st its not usually considered a reason to call in DSS

when its child/child unless one of them is a teenager. But it is recommended

to file a police report and then follow up with whoever they recommend that

has trained counselors for children. Unfortunately child sexual abuse is

common enough that most large cities have an agency that specifically

counsels children.

The next step is to go to the intake/assessment with the recommended

counselor

They then ask your child

about anyone ever touching them or showing them their private parts etc. They

may use anatomically correct dolls during the assessment.

The counselors will then meet with you and give you their take on the

assessment. They may also ask you for the name of the other family

so they can set up an assessment for their child

This protects your family in several ways ... 1st ... no one ever wants to

get a call from someone else's parent, teacher, children's services saying

they just heard the most horrible thing from your child about someone

exposing their self to him, touching him or saying things to him. And even

though your 4 yr. old may say this other child is 9 they may think he really

doesn't know what he's sure about

.

Then suddenly you have child protective services at your door

trying to find out what happened. You

are then put through 45 days of scrutiny, and privacy invasion as they

question your child at home and school, set up appointments if they feel a

physical is warranted and drop by unannounced as is part of their job

The other family is put through this same process ... but meanwhile if the

social worker is not cautious in their approach your child can become

stressed. And you definitely don't need to add to your stress level.

When you have children there are no family secrets ... and usually even <

ESPECIALLY> if it isn't a secret and is something you'd prefer the world at

large didn't have knowledge of; your more or less out of luck as children say

what's on their mind ... and perhaps not next year in school but maybe when

they start teaching in class about child safety and what children should do

if someone ever tries to touch them or expose themselves to them... Your

child may in all honestly say ... this is what Brea did to me...Then suddenly

its all brought up again and possibly under investigation.

And when you do follow up on it as non-serious as it may seem to some people

since it is 2 children ... you do get some closure in that you know you have

done everything possible to make sure that you are safeguarding your

children. That they have been assured they did nothing wrong and that what

you are trying to reinforce to them about people not ever touching them or

exposing themselves to them is reinforced in a positive manner. And.. if it

comes up for future reference. You have the police report and the child's

advocate/counselor report to show you did everything possible to safeguard

your child..

I hope your week gets better!!!

Christi-Mom of Mabel 13 w/ CF and 9 others

Married to a police officer.