Hey

[Guest guest]

Hey

They bronched me to try to suction me out but I just filled right back

up.That just stinks.

I used to be able to bounce back after a few days in the hospital but now

they say theres not much they can do.I have a week left of Zosyn and then

I'll see how I feel.Ive had the chills so bad I literally just shake. Plus I

lost a lot of weight this time.

They were trying to shove supplements down my throat but I just couldn't

eat...some of the nurses started bringing in food for me to eat.Home Made

Soup and stuff.

It pretty much sucks when they say there isn't much they can do and they will

NEVER be able to clear my lungs again.Nothing left to work except new lungs.

I can't talk to my family,Brad, or his family b/c I don't want to have them

worry or make them sad. I can't tell them whats really going through my

mind...how scard I am that I am not going to live to see a rip old age.I am

so scard of Brad moving on without me. I have friends desperately waiting for

TX.

Sorry this is such a crappy letter. I just don't feel well. I need to up my

celexa or something.

On a lighter note my sis is getting married soon.Actually she's already

married.They gave me a pass at the hospital so that I could see he go to the

JP to get married last weekend.They got orders to Africa so they wanted to be

sure they were married before they left.But the big wedding is still set for

January 4th. We picked out the Brides Maids Dresses today....Very Pretty.Her

dress is gorgous.Brendon is getting married in his dress blues.

Anyways...Sorry this is so shitty...I'll write a cheerer one later...=)

Becki