Meet the newbie.

[Guest guest]

Hi all. My name is Trudy. Some of your names are familiar

since

you emailed me about your experiences. To all who responded, let me

thank you for your words of encouragement. Also, thank you for

taking

the time to email me back. Last Thursday, Barbara called me back to

set my date for clinic and surgery. I will be a littermate on the

date of July 12th.

I have read about some of you having difficulties with the

office. I just wanted to tell you my experience has been great.

Please don't think that I am bragging or anything. I have always had

my email answered within one day unless it was a weekend. Then I was

emailed back on the first Monday. I mailed my packet one week before

I was approved and called. I sent it USPS so I could monitor when it

was signed for on the internet. For any of you sending information

to

your insurance, I highly recommend doing this. You pay about 1

dollar

more but you can see when your information was received by logging

onto the USPS site and typing in the number of your parcel. They

received it Tuesday, I impatiently emailed the clinic on Wednesday,

and Thursday they called me. I missed the first call. I called them

back but the office was closing. It was 3:00 pm in Utah, but 5:00 pm

in NC. I prepared to stay home all day Friday, but suddenly my phone

rang again. Sweet Barbara was on the other line. She had stayed

after hours to call me. This is why I say they have been great.

This post is a lot longer than I had intended it to be. I just

wanted to let you all get a chance to geek at the newbie. Some

personal information: 26 female, private pay, BMI 48, and just under

300 pounds of fun-loving sweetness. I have been thinking lately that

I want to hold onto my love of people and not turn into one of the

skinny cruel people we all seem to run into. I empathized strongly

with the stories just recently about the " cookie-cutter life. " I am

a

nurse in critical care. In the hospital where I work there are few

overweight critical care nurses. Everyone I work with is under a

medium size or less. My XX large size has been unusual to them. I

have listened to them as they have joked about front-bums (this is

what they call the patients behind their back who have large

abdominal

folds that hang down looking like a bum. Especially if the seam on

their pants places pressure in the center which divides the fat into

bum halves.) Since I have one of these adorable front bums you can

imagine how I feel when they start to talk about it. In fact I have

more bum in the front than I do in the back. The other day one of my

size 4 coworkers made the comment that if she weighed as much as one

of our patients, who was 220 pounds, she would want to be dead. I

heard this from afar but it hit me so hard. She would rather be dead

than be me. I didn't even know what to say or do. As you can see I

usually have plenty to say. I was dumbstruck.

I have been overweight since age 9. I missed normal teen-age

life: prom, dating, boys, etc. I have suffered with lower

self-esteem. These are the emotional issues which no one who hasn't

been ridiculed about their physical appearance can understand. I

have

met many people in my life. Good and bad. I try to look for the

best

in all and dismiss those that judge me based upon size. I am

fortunate to have family that loves me and friends that I can depend

on. Without them I would not be who I am today. I am thankful to be

able to have this surgery because my health is already starting to

decline. I have borderline diabetes and polycystic ovarian disease.

I also want to live a more normal life and not be a slave to my food.

I want to be able to walk without gasping for air, dance without

feeling clumsy, and maybe even dare to go swimming. LOL. Hey thanks

if you made it to the end of this post. I can't wait to meet anyone

who is coming to clinic on July 11th. Love, Trudy in Utah