More Blues

[Guest guest]

Hi everybody - been doing lots of reading lately, but not posting - everybody

seems to keep things going so well, and I haven't had too much to

contribute... Still don't, but I did need to write.

I lost my baby today - Her name was Middens, nine years old, and the most

beautiful long-haired orange tabby in the world. She was very shy, she was

definitely " Daddy's little girl " . She lived either on my lap or beside me in

bed - definitely a bed-lover. Each time I even WALKED toward the bedroom,

she started a foot race to see if she could beat me onto the bed. If I

turned the wrong direction, she'd try to " herd " me in the proper direction

under my feet, sometimes practically knocking me down - or she'd scold me,

telling me to get back over there in that bedroom. She was just SO darn

funny.

Like everybody, we had our own special routines - like the 12 laps she would

walk up and down my side and extended arm while in bed before she settled in

beside me and rested her head on my shoulder, ready for rest. She'd even

give me a " It's okay to turn the lights out now " sort of " Murph " , letting me

know she was ready. Or the way she'd sit on the floor just staring at me,

" winking " kisses to me for hours at a time, or kissing me nose-to-nose before

nestling down into my lap for a good movie. I miss her so much.

I'm do find some solace in that she went relatively quickly. Some kind of

tumor in her chest that made her lungs fill with fluid, so she had only a

small capacity of breathing capacity left by today, and I just started

noticing her having trouble breathing last night.

I had to make the choice to put her to sleep - it's impossible to watch an

animal suffer like that, for me anyway, even if there's a small chance that

they could operate and (maybe) give her a few more weeks. I just knew that

it was my job to let her go today, rather than put her through that - she

was ready - we had many talks about where we all go, and I know I'll meet her

there soon, so I really had no choice but to let her go ahead without me. I

figure she's already spending time with Damacles, my old orange Tom, and

, my friend who just recently passed away with a brain tumor, and lots of

other folks that I miss terribly.

It's a good thing we all go to the same place. I've often thought - if we

didn't, and I couldn't meet up with my pets again in that place,

it's not even a place I'd want to go. But I still miss her so. I know we

grieve for those that are left behind, and celebrate for those who've gone

ahead of us... I try to keep reminding myself of that. Still - it hurts so

much. So my heart is very heavy today. I appreciate your letting me vent

some sadness..

Peace & Love,

Terry in KC