So depressed!!!

[Guest guest]

Hi. I have another problem, and I am wondering if any of you have or

are now expereincing this. I will be 9 weeks post-op this Wednesday,

and I have felt really down the past several weeks.

I was depressed about two weeks after surgery, but it came back to me

at about week 5. I didn't post anything about it because I thought

it would pass. I get to where I have no energy at all, and I have

pain in my right jaw/neck/shoulder every single day. I want to cry

just because I'm tired of feeling this way everyday. I thought by

now, I would be back to my normal self, and I'm not. I was pushed

into a full load at work even when I had an excuse for light duty and

less hours. I usually go all day without eating because it's just

too much trouble to eat something at work when I have people sitting

all around me. I still miss my mouth half the time, and it's

embarrassing. If food ends up stuck to my lips, I can't lick it off

real quick like I used to. Now, it ends up on my shirt or in my lap

if I can't catch it with a napkin fast enough. Plus, the whole

taking rubber bands off, eating, rinsing/brushing, putting rubber

bands back on---- it's just too much to deal with at work. I usually

only eat when I get in from work which is anywhere from 7-9pm

sometimes later depending on my shift.

Anyway, I stay so tired all the time. I get to where I don't even

want to drive the two hours it takes for me to go visit my family.

It's not that I don't want to see them. It's just that I feel so

exhausted after working 40 hours that I don't want to go anywhere on

my two days off. Just driving two hours feels like a job, and it

wears me out.

I get to the point that I want to be alone. All I want to do is

sleep, and I can't. When I go to work, I stay frustrated and

stressed the whole time I'm there. I have to deal with a lot of

people, and most of them are really nice folks-- but I just feel like

I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't want anyone to talk to

me. Have any of you felt this way?

What's wrong with me?? I really hate to complain, but I really

needed to share this before I explode! I just want to feel better

physically and mentally, and so far-- I'm not there. How long is

this going to take?? When will I feel better again? What should I

do to get there? I'm pretty sure an attitude adjustment would help,

and I really do know how important attitude is. But knowing that,

why am I still stuck in a rut?? Why can't I seem to tell myself to

cheer up and actually do it??

Thanks to everyone who responds or just reads this. It feels better

to get it off my chest. Thank you all for being here for me to share

my thoughts, feelings, and worries. I appreciate you all!

Take care, and again-- I'm so sorry for complaining so much!!

Sincerely,

[Guest guest]

Okay do not beat yourself up over this post surgical depression.

its a listed side effect of surgery, anesthesia etc.

So thinking you are undermining your 'positive healing attidude' by

feeling depressed is really undermining your ...as depression

happens.

Lets face it, healing takes longer than we want, blended food alone

can send one into love poems about potatoe chips ..

I get to where I have no energy at all

=of course you can have no energy especially if you are getting

dehydrated, or not getting your nutrients. And your body after

trauma 'slows you down' so you heal.

However the pain does worry me a bit. There is normal post surgical

pain but the shoulder pain says to me you are uptight and not

sleeping well, or are holding one position too long during the day.

Maybe a sleeping aid would help relax you, red wine, a bath whatever

works. I also found not sleeping with hubby was great for relaxing

me at night as I wasn't worried about him touching my face - atleast

for a bit post op.

Topical pain - ambesol.

I want to cry

> just because I'm tired of feeling this way everyday.

=cry.

I thought by now, I would be back to my normal self, and I'm not.

=okay throw that out there is no normal

I was pushed

> into a full load at work even when I had an excuse for light duty

and

> less hours.

=sounds like you have a hard time saying no and sticking up for your

own needs....work on that, you aren't helping anyone if you are

undermining yourself as you can't " help " others when you are weak.

I usually go all day without eating because it's just

> too much trouble to eat something at work when I have people

sitting all around me.

=remember the airplane, first put YOUR oxygen mask on, if you can't

breathe ...what good are you to others?

YOu need a workload of zip and squeeze. resort to eating in cubbie

or bringing a mirror to see the food. But bring nutrient shakes or

something, you got to eat something.

Plus, the whole

> taking rubber bands off, eating, rinsing/brushing, putting rubber

> bands back on---- it's just too much to deal with at work.

=ensure in a can

I get to where I don't even

> want to drive the two hours it takes for me to go visit my

family.

=then call them up and tell them you are recovering and they can

visit you. can't pass out on the road.

I don't want to go anywhere on

> my two days off.

=then don't. you know what you need so no excuses just tell them.

and work you could develop an complication....like fatigue

I don't know about your job but....if its possible

>

> I get to the point that I want to be alone.

=you sound more overwhelmed than depressed.

> What's wrong with me?? I really hate to complain, but I really

> needed to share this before I explode! I just want to feel better

> physically and mentally, and so far-- I'm not there. How long is

> this going to take?? When will I feel better again? What should

I do to get there? I'm pretty sure an attitude adjustment would

help, and I really do know how important attitude is. But knowing

that, why am I still stuck in a rut?? Why can't I seem to tell

myself to cheer up and actually do it??

=sounds like you really need to work on setting boundaries and have

been doing too much for others and this surgery is bringing it to

light that you have a tendancy to sacrifice your own needs for

others.

shiloh

[Guest guest]

Hi, .

I'm sorry you're down. You're much further along than me (I'm almost 4

weeks) but I think the stress at work is really taking a toll on you.

I agree with what Shiloh said. And the pain in your shoulder isn't

helping you either. I think you need to mention the depression to your

surgeon when you ask about the shoulder pain.

Other than that, you need to eat, honey! I know it's a big pain, and

sometimes it doesn't seem worth it, but it is very, VERY important. At

least take some supplement drinks to work, and drink those. A poor

diet can exaggerate or lead to feelings of depression--especailly the

B vitamins. Take some liquid vitamins to try to combat this... and eat.

I know you're probably absolutley sick of the blended diet, but I find

that I can eat quickly, well, and clean my mouth easily. In five

minutes (probably 30 seconds, but I'd never admit that ;-) I can eat

blended chicken and veggie stir fry, or a blended burrito, or even

some veggie soup. Then when you get home you can try a solid meal,

with all it's challenges.

Wishing you all the best,

Eileen

> Hi. I have another problem, and I am wondering if any of you have or

> are now expereincing this. I will be 9 weeks post-op this Wednesday,

> and I have felt really down the past several weeks.

>

> I was depressed about two weeks after surgery, but it came back to me

> at about week 5. I didn't post anything about it because I thought

> it would pass. I get to where I have no energy at all, and I have

> pain in my right jaw/neck/shoulder every single day. I want to cry

> just because I'm tired of feeling this way everyday. I thought by

> now, I would be back to my normal self, and I'm not. I was pushed

> into a full load at work even when I had an excuse for light duty and

> less hours. I usually go all day without eating because it's just

> too much trouble to eat something at work when I have people sitting

> all around me. I still miss my mouth half the time, and it's

> embarrassing. If food ends up stuck to my lips, I can't lick it off

> real quick like I used to. Now, it ends up on my shirt or in my lap

> if I can't catch it with a napkin fast enough. Plus, the whole

> taking rubber bands off, eating, rinsing/brushing, putting rubber

> bands back on---- it's just too much to deal with at work. I usually

> only eat when I get in from work which is anywhere from 7-9pm

> sometimes later depending on my shift.

>

> Anyway, I stay so tired all the time. I get to where I don't even

> want to drive the two hours it takes for me to go visit my family.

> It's not that I don't want to see them. It's just that I feel so

> exhausted after working 40 hours that I don't want to go anywhere on

> my two days off. Just driving two hours feels like a job, and it

> wears me out.

>

> I get to the point that I want to be alone. All I want to do is

> sleep, and I can't. When I go to work, I stay frustrated and

> stressed the whole time I'm there. I have to deal with a lot of

> people, and most of them are really nice folks-- but I just feel like

> I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't want anyone to talk to

> me. Have any of you felt this way?

>

> What's wrong with me?? I really hate to complain, but I really

> needed to share this before I explode! I just want to feel better

> physically and mentally, and so far-- I'm not there. How long is

> this going to take?? When will I feel better again? What should I

> do to get there? I'm pretty sure an attitude adjustment would help,

> and I really do know how important attitude is. But knowing that,

> why am I still stuck in a rut?? Why can't I seem to tell myself to

> cheer up and actually do it??

>

> Thanks to everyone who responds or just reads this. It feels better

> to get it off my chest. Thank you all for being here for me to share

> my thoughts, feelings, and worries. I appreciate you all!

>

> Take care, and again-- I'm so sorry for complaining so much!!

> Sincerely,