Caregiver Feelings

[Guest guest]

Pat:

It is quite helpful to me - and to all I would think - to know that others

see the same behaviors as I do. Terry and I have been married 49 years and

we have also had our ups and downs. However, recent years have begun to be

different - thanks to MSA. Coming to grips with these changes on a

personal and emotional basis is where this list is so helpful.

Thanks for sharing.

Message: 8

Date: Tue, 18 Jun 2002 15:41:55 EDT

From: MPurcellPat@...

Subject: Caregiver Feelings

Dear and Vera: You both have expressed feelings and happenings that

go on around here all the time. - Bob is also in the " right now " mode

most of the time. Upstairs a while ago when I was transferring Bob from his

transport wheelchair to his Lounge-Lift chair in the living room he would not

let go of the transport chair even though with the PT he did it correctly all

the time. If he keeps hold of the transport chair it will tip and bang him

or me. He's tired of listening to me. Bob and I have been married 52 years

next August and like everything we've had our ups and downs but overall he

was a wonderful husband and father - a man with many interests, activities

and always helpful and sharing with friends, neighbors or folks he met along

the way. It is hard to see him so handicapped and just hard to see him

failing as he is. Vera - I know what you mean by having a good cry but, like

you I try to pull myself together again and I will go out in the garden and

plant another petunia.

Bob is hard to understand sometimes. He is going for a swallow test this

summer and maybe they will have some hints. He gets mad when I don't know or

understand what he is saying all the time. My Mom will be 98 on Thursday

and Friday afternoon I have invited some family, friends and neighbors over

for a little celebration with cake and a little party. She is a lot less

care than Bob. She has osteoporosis and is bent over but she gets up at

night herself with her walker and can make her own way to the bathroom. The

sad thing about being her age is all her 10 brothers and sisters are deceased

- she was the sixth - and all her friends have also gone to be with God.

A few of my cousins will be here but so many have moved all over the country

and her children and grandchildren - a lot of them have moved too. She loves

parties -

Bob was the best host - but he will just sit and watch all the activity. I

sort of entertain for him too as it gives him something to keep him occupied.

Bill - I have received so much help from your posts I hope to see you on the

list again soon.

Take Care, Pat

from Framingham MA

Sennewald Charlottesville, Virginia