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Vera,

I'm not nearly in as good a shape as I was many years ago but I'm larger

than Peg (even though she is a fairly large women, 5' 10, " 145 to 155 lbs).

A couple of years ago the physical therapist was amazed that I could move

Peg from the wheelchair to the bed in a single movement, simply by having

Peg grab my hand and then pulling her to her feet and pivoting her into bed.

For the last few months Peg hasn't had the strength to assist with that kind

of maneuver. Lately I have to depend more just on my strength. I'm sure you

know the situation. Guide Peg into the bathroom, coax her close to the

toilet bowl (she always wants to stop four feet short), hold her up with one

arm while pulling down her pants with the other while keeping her from

falling, then setting her on the toilet. Given her decrease in strength and

coordination and her increase in faintness, it's not easy for me. Then of

course you have to reverse the maneuver when she's done. I'm thinking of

getting the transfer belt out again. We purchased one several years ago but

haven't used it much. No lifting secrets here.

I've always wondered (and admired) the women caretakers on this list who

have had to contend with a much larger spouse. I remember someone (maybe it

was you) who talked about falling down with her husband on top of her, not

being able to do anything until the neighbors came. It can't be easy. I'm

not a natural born caretaker and having to deal with someone much larger

than myself would be very difficult.

Peg and Jim from Guam

**************

Date: Thu, 20 Jun 2002 19:23:26 EDT

From: FVJAMES@...

Subject: I've got a ? for you men

I was talking to Ruby today and she said she is having a hard time lifting

Felix and I know it's not easy to lift Fred, but I just wonder if the men

caregiver have a hard time lifting the woman that they are taking care of?

You have anything that will help us woman move this large men? Pro or con's

to the right way and the wrong.

Just wondering

Vera

**************

********************************

*** Peg & Jim

*** # 29 Cruz Heights

*** Ipan-Talofofo, Guam 96930-4736

*** USA

***

*** Note: Guam is 15 hours ahead of

*** Eastern Standard Time (EST).

*** 14 ahead of EDT.

********************************

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Dear Jim: Your note to Vera really hit home with me. I am 5' 6" and probably weigh 150 more or less. Bob was 6' but he is so bent over and his knees so bent it's hard to tell. He weighs 200-210 lbs. He was thinner when he was well - probably around 185. The pivoting action seems to have been working with all kinds of bars on the walls in all rooms and especially the bathroom. Bob probably stops 3 feet short and has difficulty backing up. He holds on the bars on the wall and then while I pull down his pants tries to sit before I can back him up to the toilet. I have a belt around him but pivoting will not work too much longer. I have the prescription for the "Hoyer Lift" and am trying to see other options and other gadgets people use. I was just impressed with the car arrangement - twisting and lifting. It sounds great. When Bob gets up in the night - the commode with let down sides was working well but lately he is having a harder time even with that. I have him lean on the "transfer" wheel chair between his hospital bed and my bed which limits mobility - which is good at that time - and with a transfer board get him on the commode. Sometimes it works like clockwork and other times it's like a "Jigsaw Puzzle" gone wrong. Bob did not fall on me - but one time he zigged and I zagged - he fell sideways - I fell over my Mom's lounger - thank God she wasn't in it - and Bob landed on the floor in an awkward position. He landed softly because I still had hold of the belt I have around him. That time I called the "Fire Department". I didn't call 911. I have the dispatcher's office number. I just needed some big guys to get him back in his wheelchair or Lounger/Lift chair. When I feel it is not an emergency I just call the dispatcher at the "Fire". They are more than willing to help. If they feel it is an emergency they will call for an ambulance or more help. Tony from Boston's wife told me she is taking "strength" exercises to help with what may be needed. Somehow we all get through - and when I get up at night I often think "where in the world another caregiver is up" and say a little prayer that they can manage another transfer or procedure. The information I have gotten through this list is marvelous and gives me the feeling of not being alone and the courage to face another day. My Mother was 98 Thursday. I had a few people over - about 25 friends and relatives - all my Mom's friends are with God and she is the last of 10. She was the 6th. - so she keeps on keeping on with her "rose colored glasses on" and just enjoys my friends, children, and grandchildren - neighbors and anyone else she just enjoys them all. She does not look back too much I noticed and only sees the good in everything - and gives the "Red Sox", "Patriots", "Celtics" and any other local sports teams saintly attributes I wonder if they ever had. Don't think I made a big party - I let the kids help - and went to a place called "BJ's" and got mostly prepared food. We had a lot of fun and it perks Bob up too. She only needs a little help and can get up with her walker at night and go to the bathroom. She just needs a little help dressing and a few more things. God Bless and Take Care in Guam,

Pat from Framingham MA

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Dear Ann: I remember you had posted in the past about the condom catheter. I am considering something like that. Bob is changeable. For a while he slept longer but now he is back to getting up 3 or 4 times again. After I chatted a while I had to go upstairs and tend to Bob and then tonight when I was putting him to bed again he went the wrong way toward my bed even though I had a good hold on him - my bed has wheels and rolls easily and he pushed it and landed on the floor. This is only the second time this year that I had to call the dispatcher again and help get him off the floor and into bed. He was wedged in such a way I could never lift him. It only took the firemen a few minutes and everything was fine. I think he was confused and went the wrong way toward my bed instead of his hospital bed. Things like this happen so quickly it's hard to reconstruct it in my mind. This afternoon 2 of my Grandsons were still here since my Mom's party but off they went to New Hampshire. It never happens when I have help around. Take care, Pat from Framingham MA

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Pat,

About getting up at night. Al was getting up about every 20 minutes all

night.

We now use a condom catheter at night and he sleep through the whole

night. WHAT A BLESSING!!

Ann from Soddy,TN

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