2nd Anniversary - X-Post

[Guest guest]

Keltie, I am amazed that with the amount of stress on you, that you have not

regained all of your weight. You are a mighty strong woman. Hubby should

should consider himself fortunate to have you. But I guess in his condition,

it is tough to remember the good parts. Don't wish time away, there a some

days left in this year and it sounds like you are planning to make good use

of them. Fay Bayuk 300/180 10/23/01 open rny 60 Years

[Guest guest]

Hi folks --

Today is my 2nd Anniversary, open proximal RnY with gall bladder removed.

On my first anniversary, to the day, my husband was diagnosed with bladder

cancer and was in the hospital.

It's been a rough year.

His bladder and prostate were removed, as well as local lymph glands in

August. He's undergoing chemotherapy just in case there were any micro

metastases, and he's got one more month to go.

I hit my low weight of 203#, despite incredible stress ... only to freak out

in early November when we had to replace our heat/hot water system (new

boiler, cost: $5000) while I was battling with the Payroll Dept of my

company, who totally screwed up my paychecks during a period of unpaid

family leave. The weight bounced up to 217# in mid-November, and is now

hovering around 210#.

I joined a gym (nothing fancy... " Sonny's Sweat Shop. " Gotta love the name,

and all the " ripped " guys walking around there at the strange hours that I'm

able to go). With the advent of winter, I don't do my daily 3-mile walk

outside because the cold air aggravates the slight asthma I've had. I was

not going to vegetate away for another winter, so I've been doing cardio on

the treadmill and stair-stepper, and starting to learn my way around the

different machines. I'm at REAL-WUSS level, without shame... that will

change before long.

In the " It never rains but it pours " dept. -- a week after the new boiler

was installed, and my payroll woes were resolved, my poor husband developed

a very painful hiatal hernia. He had the last of this month's installment

of chemotherapy on Monday, and then met with the general surgeon, who

scheduled him for the hernia repair operation next Tuesday, Dec 10th... the

day before his 65th birthday. He's in pain, he's grouchy... and we've just

had a major argument that started when I wanted to help him find a form that

he needs from Social Security Administration that is downloadable online.

He's going to be mad for days, as is his usual practice... and he's pissed

off all the more because I just let the whole thing slide off my back.

Life's too short to nurse grudges. I do understand his moodiness, but no

reason to pommel me emotionally because of it.

As a result, I've been suffering some sort of intestinal disorder. Cramps,

gas, diarrhea... and it's like an attack wave that comes on when I start

reviewing our stressful situation. This too shall pass...

Just bugged that my weight went up 3# since I started exercising, while

cutting out the junk food that had crept into my diet. (I was

self-medicating my anxiety with carbs... this only created more anxiety.

We've done this before, it doesn't work... it's hard to give it up, but it's

gotta be done!)

I really really DO know that the light at the end of this tunnel is not the

headlight of an oncoming train. Thanks to you folks, you've all helped keep

me from going totally nuts while I am in survival-and-lurk mode.

Just waiting for the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve... when I'm

planning to pull the covers over my head and say " Thank God this year is

over! " Actually... I'm invited to a pretty neat party, but that

head-under-the-covers fantasy looms large in my dreams.

Blessings...

Keltie

350+ / 315# / 210# / goal-or-bust