Stock Market Dictionary

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>>

>>>> > Stock Market Dictionary for the past year investor

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>> > Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.

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>> > Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.

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>> > Broker - Poorer than you were in 1999.

>> >

>> > P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this

>> > market keeps crashing.

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>> > Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell.

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>> > Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

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>> > Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake

>> > himself for a financial genius.

>> >

>> > Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,

>> > the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

>> >

>> > Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets

>> > equally between themselves.

>> >

>> > Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he

>> > runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.

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>> > Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.

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>> > Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the

>> > toilet.

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>> > Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient

>> > times before e-mail.

>> >

>> > Cisco - Side kick of Poncho.

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>> > Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $540

>> > per share.

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>> > Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought

>> > Yahoo for $540 per share.

>> >

>> > Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a

>> > nut house.

>> >

>> > Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.

>> >

>> > Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.

>> >

>> > Alan Greenspan - God.

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