Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 In a message dated 12/20/2002 11:15:19 AM Pacific Standard Time, rlogle@... writes: > however the Tae-Bo is kickin' my butt.... People tell me that I'll catch > on.. I don't think so.... Uh huh. I couldn't just buy a single Tae-Bo tape, I had to buy the set of four. I simply never made it past the instructional video because after 4 attempts I could not master the moves (although I must say I do enjoy watching Billy Blanks sweat, and flex, and ....well, never mind that's not the point!) I gave away my Tae-Bo tapes, and am doing much better with " Aerobics for Dummies " and really loving the " Firm Body Sculpting System. " Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 In a message dated 12/20/2002 11:35:07 AM Pacific Standard Time, loriowen@... writes: > I think that is why I keep going back to the everything in moderation > philosophy. As someone with an eating disorder, this is exactly the concept I cannot seem to grasp. I know what moderation is, and what it looks like. But....I simply cannot put it into play. I do great at deprivation; I do even better at binging. I can easily eat 1200 calories a day, and love eating 3000 calories a day. It's trying to eat, say, 2000 calories a day that seems to escape me. Just for the record, this is an all out personality issue for me, I don't do anything by half-measures or in moderation, including food! Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 Randy, thanks again for being honest with your post and taking the flak as gracefully as the helpful comments. I was going to go silent on day three, hoping no one would notice, and justifying that people would probably actually be thankful that I shut up, because I did not get anywhere near my proposed eating habits. But I figured if you were brave enough then I should follow the example. It's so easy to see where and why I am sabotaging myself now. And it is so, so very hard to be aware of the compulsion and/or habit to eat. I never felt the intensity of it before because I always gave in to it, never had to fight it. Before I say what I did, one caveat. It is essential for me to remember to tell myself FIRST what I did well and what progress I have made. and then go onto where I slipped and how I could do better. This is such a more forgiving, loving and motivational place to come from. I had such a hard day emotionally yesterday. I really just felt like i couldn't take it from so many different angles . The combination of stress, grief, anger, frustration and confusion was overwhelming. My mind coped with it by giving me a burning desire to eat junk. I had no appetite, and actually an aversion, to healthy food. I beat the first wave by posting here and eating cauliflower to my heart's discontent. Later in the day I HAD to make cookies for my kid's teachers and classes because today is the last day of school before break. I wrestled with the " had to " part: " Why do I have to? Why don't I just forget it and buy some in wrappers? " Then my kids were all excited about baking..pleading and jumping up and down..and my brain got resentful: " Why should I not be able to do the simple but special things normal people do with their kids because I am too weak to avoid munching out? Just don't eat it, stupid! Are you going to kepp depriving the kids of all kinds of things because you can't learn to handle things? And, beside, their Dad is going off to Reno for the holidays so it's up to you to make this time special. (notice the devil is much more verbose than the angel) Well, I should have nixed it and bought something because I tasted the cookie dough and, don't you know, it was like a flame to a gasoline doused wood pile. I COULD NOT STOP pinching cookie dough as I baked. Finally, I just gave up and after 2 batches, put plastic on the remaining dough and shoved it in the fridge. I couldn't deal with it. Later, at what was supposed to be dinner time, I didn't cook at all. Gave the kids some soup and then we all went upstairs to watch survivor where we, mostly me, munched non-stop on popcorn. The weird thing is, calorie wise I probably ate no more than 1800. But I felt like crap, mentally, physically and emotionally. Plus I had unleashed the carb monster and am having to fit him all over again today so I can return to the place where I crave healthy food. The eating temporarily shut down my brain so I could tolerate my feelings, but they are back today, and compounded by the guilt of the bad eating, so it's a double whammy. Now, I am not beating myself up. I am in a good place today and I am proud of myself for being honest with myself and moving forward instead of prolonging this into self-pity accompanied by a week long, month long, or decade long downward spiral. This breaking of habits requires absolute diligence. It is a real butt kicker. I have lost enough weight that I can just no longer fake it. But, I swear (picture Scarlet O'Hara with her fist raised) I will break these habits and move onto the next phase of my life, so help me GOD! I have not come this far to fail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 I think, just a thought, that maybe we are beating ourselves up over things that we see as bad. I was at my sister's house yesterday, the skinny one, that one that hasn't been surgically altered. She was baking cookies, she kept " sampling " the dough.... hmmm. Is it a normal thing? I think it is. I think when it becomes abnormal is when we have no control over it.... Like my little foray into the peanut brittle and red velvet cake icing (the best thing I've tasted in over 14 months). I had no control over it... a lady I work with, she's diabetic, kept watchin' me and makin' these little tsk tsk sounds.. LOL... she knew I was outta control and kept singing the little Eminem song " My Dad's Gone Crazy " .... It was funny at the time, but not funny when my blood sugar bottomed out...... Which she knew would happen... Yesterday? No sugar all day, which is not unusual for me.. cause I never ever have sugar.. It's usually just stupid carbs.. which it was yesterday... Lot's of Corn Chips... yummm... Then some chili.. Well too much chili, my pouch ached afterward...... I'm takin' enough protein powder to work tonight for several shakes... Just in case... If I have to have a thousand calories from the protein shakes... so be it.. It'll be better than the damn carbs that I have such a love hate relationship with.... It's not that I think I need to swear off carbs all together, it's just that I have such a problem controling them... I'm gonna cut up an apple and take with me also.... I used all the oranges at work practicing sutures.... It's kinda like skin, but not really, much better to practice on real skin, but not many friends will let me suture them.... Some friend huh? I'm doin' great with my weight's, however the Tae-Bo is kickin' my butt.... People tell me that I'll catch on.. I don't think so.... We'll see. I'm tired of being back on that " tomorrow I'll do better " kinda thing... it's tomorrow and I just have to live life as best I can, no regrets, no beating me up. Randy rlogle@... www.geocities.com/rogle32/ AIM: rlogleeln Open RNY: Sept. 26, 2001: 207 lbs gone. Daddy to Doogun, Jasper, and Zoe. Lord, Please help me to become the Person my Dog's think I am. Slippery saddle > Randy, thanks again for being honest with your post and taking the > flak as gracefully as the helpful comments. I was going to go silent > on day three, hoping no one would notice, and justifying that people > would probably actually be thankful that I shut up, because I did > not get anywhere near my proposed eating habits. But I figured if > you were brave enough then I should follow the example. > > It's so easy to see where and why I am sabotaging myself now. And it > is so, so very hard to be aware of the compulsion and/or habit to > eat. I never felt the intensity of it before because I always gave > in to it, never had to fight it. > > Before I say what I did, one caveat. It is essential for me to > remember to tell myself FIRST what I did well and what progress I > have made. and then go onto where I slipped and how I could do > better. This is such a more forgiving, loving and motivational place > to come from. > > I had such a hard day emotionally yesterday. I really just felt like > i couldn't take it from so many different angles . The combination > of stress, grief, anger, frustration and confusion was overwhelming. > My mind coped with it by giving me a burning desire to eat junk. I > had no appetite, and actually an aversion, to healthy food. > > > I beat the first wave by posting here and eating cauliflower to my > heart's discontent. > > Later in the day I HAD to make cookies for my kid's teachers and > classes because today is the last day of school before break. I > wrestled with the " had to " part: " > > Why do I have to? Why don't I just forget it and buy some in > wrappers? " > > Then my kids were all excited about baking..pleading and jumping up > and down..and my brain got resentful: > > " Why should I not be able to do the simple but special things normal > people do with their kids because I am too weak to avoid munching > out? Just don't eat it, stupid! Are you going to kepp depriving the > kids of all kinds of things because you can't learn to handle things? > And, beside, their Dad is going off to Reno for the holidays so it's > up to you to make this time special. > > (notice the devil is much more verbose than the angel) > > Well, I should have nixed it and bought something because I tasted > the cookie dough and, don't you know, it was like a flame to a > gasoline doused wood pile. I COULD NOT STOP pinching cookie dough as > I baked. > > Finally, I just gave up and after 2 batches, put plastic on the > remaining dough and shoved it in the fridge. I couldn't deal with it. > > Later, at what was supposed to be dinner time, I didn't cook at all. > Gave the kids some soup and then we all went upstairs to watch > survivor where we, mostly me, munched non-stop on popcorn. > > The weird thing is, calorie wise I probably ate no more than 1800. > But I felt like crap, mentally, physically and emotionally. Plus I > had unleashed the carb monster and am having to fit him all over > again today so I can return to the place where I crave healthy food. > > The eating temporarily shut down my brain so I could tolerate my > feelings, but they are back today, and compounded by the guilt of the > bad eating, so it's a double whammy. > > Now, I am not beating myself up. I am in a good place today and I am > proud of myself for being honest with myself and moving forward > instead of prolonging this into self-pity accompanied by a week long, > month long, or decade long downward spiral. > > This breaking of habits requires absolute diligence. It is a real > butt kicker. I have lost enough weight that I can just no longer fake > it. > > But, I swear (picture Scarlet O'Hara with her fist raised) I will > break these habits and move onto the next phase of my life, so help > me GOD! I have not come this far to fail. > > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 I'm kinda with Randy on this one, what is normal? Do normal people eat chocolate occasionally? Do they eat all of those things I crave like cookies, cakes, frito pie, spaghetti, pizza? They do. I think that is why I keep going back to the everything in moderation philosophy. Does that mean I am perfect? Heck no. I know I am making some really stinking thinking because of the holidays. I am at least aware of it and do use some restraint. I am grateful that I am not nearly out of control as I was 18 months ago. Lori Owen - Denton, Texas CHF 4/14/01 479 lbs. SRVG 7/16/01 401 lbs. Current Weight 302 lbs. Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce On Fri, 20 Dec 2002 13:13:05 -0600 " Randy Ogle " rlogle@...> writes: > I think, just a thought, that maybe we are beating ourselves up over > things > that we see as bad. I was at my sister's house yesterday, the skinny > one, > that one that hasn't been surgically altered. She was baking > cookies, she > kept " sampling " the dough.... hmmm. Is it a normal thing? I think it > is. I > think when it becomes abnormal is when we have no control over > it.... Like > my little foray into the peanut brittle and red velvet cake icing > (the best > thing I've tasted in over 14 months). I had no control over it... a > lady I > work with, she's diabetic, kept watchin' me and makin' these little > tsk tsk > sounds.. LOL... she knew I was outta control and kept singing the > little > Eminem song " My Dad's Gone Crazy " .... It was funny at the time, but > not > funny when my blood sugar bottomed out...... Which she knew would > happen... > Yesterday? No sugar all day, which is not unusual for me.. cause I > never > ever have sugar.. It's usually just stupid carbs.. which it was > yesterday... > Lot's of Corn Chips... yummm... Then some chili.. Well too much > chili, my > pouch ached afterward...... I'm takin' enough protein powder to work > tonight > for several shakes... Just in case... If I have to have a thousand > calories > from the protein shakes... so be it.. It'll be better than the damn > carbs > that I have such a love hate relationship with.... It's not that I > think I > need to swear off carbs all together, it's just that I have such a > problem > controling them... I'm gonna cut up an apple and take with me > also.... I > used all the oranges at work practicing sutures.... It's kinda like > skin, > but not really, much better to practice on real skin, but not many > friends > will let me suture them.... Some friend huh? I'm doin' great with > my > weight's, however the Tae-Bo is kickin' my butt.... People tell me > that I'll > h on.. I don't think so.... We'll see. > I'm tired of being back on that " tomorrow I'll do better " kinda > thing... > it's tomorrow and I just have to live life as best I can, no > regrets, no > beating me up. > Randy > rlogle@... > www.geocities.com/rogle32/ > AIM: rlogleeln > Open RNY: Sept. 26, 2001: 207 lbs gone. > Daddy to Doogun, Jasper, and Zoe. > Lord, Please help me to become the Person > my Dog's think I am. > Slippery saddle > > > > Randy, thanks again for being honest with your post and taking > the > > flak as gracefully as the helpful comments. I was going to go > silent > > on day three, hoping no one would notice, and justifying that > people > > would probably actually be thankful that I shut up, because I > did > > not get anywhere near my proposed eating habits. But I figured > if > > you were brave enough then I should follow the example. > > > > It's so easy to see where and why I am sabotaging myself now. And > it > > is so, so very hard to be aware of the compulsion and/or habit to > > eat. I never felt the intensity of it before because I always > gave > > in to it, never had to fight it. > > > > Before I say what I did, one caveat. It is essential for me to > > remember to tell myself FIRST what I did well and what progress I > > have made. and then go onto where I slipped and how I could do > > better. This is such a more forgiving, loving and motivational > place > > to come from. > > > > I had such a hard day emotionally yesterday. I really just felt > like > > i couldn't take it from so many different angles . The > combination > > of stress, grief, anger, frustration and confusion was > overwhelming. > > My mind coped with it by giving me a burning desire to eat junk. > I > > had no appetite, and actually an aversion, to healthy food. > > > > > > I beat the first wave by posting here and eating cauliflower to > my > > heart's discontent. > > > > Later in the day I HAD to make cookies for my kid's teachers and > > classes because today is the last day of school before break. I > > wrestled with the " had to " part: " > > > > Why do I have to? Why don't I just forget it and buy some in > > wrappers? " > > > > Then my kids were all excited about baking..pleading and jumping > up > > and down..and my brain got resentful: > > > > " Why should I not be able to do the simple but special things > normal > > people do with their kids because I am too weak to avoid munching > > out? Just don't eat it, stupid! Are you going to kepp depriving > the > > kids of all kinds of things because you can't learn to handle > things? > > And, beside, their Dad is going off to Reno for the holidays so > it's > > up to you to make this time special. > > > > (notice the devil is much more verbose than the angel) > > > > Well, I should have nixed it and bought something because I > tasted > > the cookie dough and, don't you know, it was like a flame to a > > gasoline doused wood pile. I COULD NOT STOP pinching cookie dough > as > > I baked. > > > > Finally, I just gave up and after 2 batches, put plastic on the > > remaining dough and shoved it in the fridge. I couldn't deal with > it. > > > > Later, at what was supposed to be dinner time, I didn't cook at > all. > > Gave the kids some soup and then we all went upstairs to watch > > survivor where we, mostly me, munched non-stop on popcorn. > > > > The weird thing is, calorie wise I probably ate no more than > 1800. > > But I felt like crap, mentally, physically and emotionally. Plus > I > > had unleashed the carb monster and am having to fit him all over > > again today so I can return to the place where I crave healthy > food. > > > > The eating temporarily shut down my brain so I could tolerate my > > feelings, but they are back today, and compounded by the guilt of > the > > bad eating, so it's a double whammy. > > > > Now, I am not beating myself up. I am in a good place today and I > am > > proud of myself for being honest with myself and moving forward > > instead of prolonging this into self-pity accompanied by a week > long, > > month long, or decade long downward spiral. > > > > This breaking of habits requires absolute diligence. It is a real > > butt kicker. I have lost enough weight that I can just no longer > fake > > it. > > > > But, I swear (picture Scarlet O'Hara with her fist raised) I will > > break these habits and move onto the next phase of my life, so > help > > me GOD! I have not come this far to fail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 BUT, and I say this with some bitterness, is that we are NOT normal. Never were, never will be. Every pinch WE sneak, we wear. That's the physical part of our disease. It's not fair, it's not right, but it just is that way. And yes, I miss hot choc chip cookies with ice cold milk. Thanks, Vitalady T www.vitalady.com If you are interested in PayPal, please click here: https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com Slippery saddle > > > > > > > Randy, thanks again for being honest with your post and taking > > the > > > flak as gracefully as the helpful comments. I was going to go > > silent > > > on day three, hoping no one would notice, and justifying that > > people > > > would probably actually be thankful that I shut up, because I > > did > > > not get anywhere near my proposed eating habits. But I figured > > if > > > you were brave enough then I should follow the example. > > > > > > It's so easy to see where and why I am sabotaging myself now. And > > it > > > is so, so very hard to be aware of the compulsion and/or habit to > > > eat. I never felt the intensity of it before because I always > > gave > > > in to it, never had to fight it. > > > > > > Before I say what I did, one caveat. It is essential for me to > > > remember to tell myself FIRST what I did well and what progress I > > > have made. and then go onto where I slipped and how I could do > > > better. This is such a more forgiving, loving and motivational > > place > > > to come from. > > > > > > I had such a hard day emotionally yesterday. I really just felt > > like > > > i couldn't take it from so many different angles . The > > combination > > > of stress, grief, anger, frustration and confusion was > > overwhelming. > > > My mind coped with it by giving me a burning desire to eat junk. > > I > > > had no appetite, and actually an aversion, to healthy food. > > > > > > > > > I beat the first wave by posting here and eating cauliflower to > > my > > > heart's discontent. > > > > > > Later in the day I HAD to make cookies for my kid's teachers and > > > classes because today is the last day of school before break. I > > > wrestled with the " had to " part: " > > > > > > Why do I have to? Why don't I just forget it and buy some in > > > wrappers? " > > > > > > Then my kids were all excited about baking..pleading and jumping > > up > > > and down..and my brain got resentful: > > > > > > " Why should I not be able to do the simple but special things > > normal > > > people do with their kids because I am too weak to avoid munching > > > out? Just don't eat it, stupid! Are you going to kepp depriving > > the > > > kids of all kinds of things because you can't learn to handle > > things? > > > And, beside, their Dad is going off to Reno for the holidays so > > it's > > > up to you to make this time special. > > > > > > (notice the devil is much more verbose than the angel) > > > > > > Well, I should have nixed it and bought something because I > > tasted > > > the cookie dough and, don't you know, it was like a flame to a > > > gasoline doused wood pile. I COULD NOT STOP pinching cookie dough > > as > > > I baked. > > > > > > Finally, I just gave up and after 2 batches, put plastic on the > > > remaining dough and shoved it in the fridge. I couldn't deal with > > it. > > > > > > Later, at what was supposed to be dinner time, I didn't cook at > > all. > > > Gave the kids some soup and then we all went upstairs to watch > > > survivor where we, mostly me, munched non-stop on popcorn. > > > > > > The weird thing is, calorie wise I probably ate no more than > > 1800. > > > But I felt like crap, mentally, physically and emotionally. Plus > > I > > > had unleashed the carb monster and am having to fit him all over > > > again today so I can return to the place where I crave healthy > > food. > > > > > > The eating temporarily shut down my brain so I could tolerate my > > > feelings, but they are back today, and compounded by the guilt of > > the > > > bad eating, so it's a double whammy. > > > > > > Now, I am not beating myself up. I am in a good place today and I > > am > > > proud of myself for being honest with myself and moving forward > > > instead of prolonging this into self-pity accompanied by a week > > long, > > > month long, or decade long downward spiral. > > > > > > This breaking of habits requires absolute diligence. It is a real > > > butt kicker. I have lost enough weight that I can just no longer > > fake > > > it. > > > > > > But, I swear (picture Scarlet O'Hara with her fist raised) I will > > > break these habits and move onto the next phase of my life, so > > help > > > me GOD! I have not come this far to fail. > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 Okay, completely makes sense. However, prior to surgery I would eat everything in site to avoid that one thing that I thought was totally bad - sugar. If I was craving chocolate, I would eat a whole pizza to avoid eating a piece of chocolate. When I finally would give into the craving, a candy bar was no longer enough. I had to have a whole bag of oreos AND a pound of M&M's. I have discovered that if I have a craving for chocolate now, I usually try to wait 24 hours. If, after 24 hours, I still have the craving a candy bar or a small brownie or a serving of ice cream does the trick. I would much rather do the chocolate in moderation then to eat everything but the kitchen sink. This is what I mean by moderation for me. I don't know if this is normal or not. I am not really sure it is totally working. I do know that I am no longer eating chocolate or cookies or cakes all day everyday for weeks on end and I consider that at least a small success. I also no longer weigh 479 lbs. Lori Owen - Denton, Texas CHF 4/14/01 479 lbs. SRVG 7/16/01 401 lbs. Current Weight 302 lbs. Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce On Fri, 20 Dec 2002 17:53:39 EST kateseidel@... writes: > In a message dated 12/20/2002 11:35:07 AM Pacific Standard Time, > loriowen@... writes: > > > I think that is why I keep going back to the everything in > moderation > > philosophy. > > As someone with an eating disorder, this is exactly the concept I > cannot seem > to grasp. I know what moderation is, and what it looks like. > But....I > simply cannot put it into play. I do great at deprivation; I do > even better > at binging. I can easily eat 1200 calories a day, and love eating > 3000 > calories a day. It's trying to eat, say, 2000 calories a day that > seems to > escape me. > > Just for the record, this is an all out personality issue for me, I > don't do > anything by half-measures or in moderation, including food! > > Kate > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 I guess this is how I have always felt too. I keep thinking that YES it would be wonderful to be normal like my younger sister or the skinny littl girls I work with.....but my mind kept going back to the fact that I DID eat like that.........and it is what got me to 250lbs. I never liked candy or sweets at all before WLS.......for some reason now I seem to crave them.......I am starting to think that it is because I have told myself that I can't have them! I do believe that I am going to have to deny, restrict, avoid and curb the rest of my life......call it what you want.....but if I want to be a 12 instead of a 24W......that's the way it's gotta be....it SUCKS....sure does.......but for me it's a reality!!!! Now, it's just getting this message to sink in!! P. Slippery saddle > > > > > > > > > > Randy, thanks again for being honest with your post and taking > > > the > > > > flak as gracefully as the helpful comments. I was going to go > > > silent > > > > on day three, hoping no one would notice, and justifying that > > > people > > > > would probably actually be thankful that I shut up, because I > > > did > > > > not get anywhere near my proposed eating habits. But I figured > > > if > > > > you were brave enough then I should follow the example. > > > > > > > > It's so easy to see where and why I am sabotaging myself now. And > > > it > > > > is so, so very hard to be aware of the compulsion and/or habit to > > > > eat. I never felt the intensity of it before because I always > > > gave > > > > in to it, never had to fight it. > > > > > > > > Before I say what I did, one caveat. It is essential for me to > > > > remember to tell myself FIRST what I did well and what progress I > > > > have made. and then go onto where I slipped and how I could do > > > > better. This is such a more forgiving, loving and motivational > > > place > > > > to come from. > > > > > > > > I had such a hard day emotionally yesterday. I really just felt > > > like > > > > i couldn't take it from so many different angles . The > > > combination > > > > of stress, grief, anger, frustration and confusion was > > > overwhelming. > > > > My mind coped with it by giving me a burning desire to eat junk. > > > I > > > > had no appetite, and actually an aversion, to healthy food. > > > > > > > > > > > > I beat the first wave by posting here and eating cauliflower to > > > my > > > > heart's discontent. > > > > > > > > Later in the day I HAD to make cookies for my kid's teachers and > > > > classes because today is the last day of school before break. I > > > > wrestled with the " had to " part: " > > > > > > > > Why do I have to? Why don't I just forget it and buy some in > > > > wrappers? " > > > > > > > > Then my kids were all excited about baking..pleading and jumping > > > up > > > > and down..and my brain got resentful: > > > > > > > > " Why should I not be able to do the simple but special things > > > normal > > > > people do with their kids because I am too weak to avoid munching > > > > out? Just don't eat it, stupid! Are you going to kepp depriving > > > the > > > > kids of all kinds of things because you can't learn to handle > > > things? > > > > And, beside, their Dad is going off to Reno for the holidays so > > > it's > > > > up to you to make this time special. > > > > > > > > (notice the devil is much more verbose than the angel) > > > > > > > > Well, I should have nixed it and bought something because I > > > tasted > > > > the cookie dough and, don't you know, it was like a flame to a > > > > gasoline doused wood pile. I COULD NOT STOP pinching cookie dough > > > as > > > > I baked. > > > > > > > > Finally, I just gave up and after 2 batches, put plastic on the > > > > remaining dough and shoved it in the fridge. I couldn't deal with > > > it. > > > > > > > > Later, at what was supposed to be dinner time, I didn't cook at > > > all. > > > > Gave the kids some soup and then we all went upstairs to watch > > > > survivor where we, mostly me, munched non-stop on popcorn. > > > > > > > > The weird thing is, calorie wise I probably ate no more than > > > 1800. > > > > But I felt like crap, mentally, physically and emotionally. Plus > > > I > > > > had unleashed the carb monster and am having to fit him all over > > > > again today so I can return to the place where I crave healthy > > > food. > > > > > > > > The eating temporarily shut down my brain so I could tolerate my > > > > feelings, but they are back today, and compounded by the guilt of > > > the > > > > bad eating, so it's a double whammy. > > > > > > > > Now, I am not beating myself up. I am in a good place today and I > > > am > > > > proud of myself for being honest with myself and moving forward > > > > instead of prolonging this into self-pity accompanied by a week > > > long, > > > > month long, or decade long downward spiral. > > > > > > > > This breaking of habits requires absolute diligence. It is a real > > > > butt kicker. I have lost enough weight that I can just no longer > > > fake > > > > it. > > > > > > > > But, I swear (picture Scarlet O'Hara with her fist raised) I will > > > > break these habits and move onto the next phase of my life, so > > > help > > > > me GOD! I have not come this far to fail. > > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 ditto I could do nothing better than " a little " Thanks, Vitalady T www.vitalady.com If you are interested in PayPal, please click here: https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com Re: Slippery saddle > In a message dated 12/20/2002 11:35:07 AM Pacific Standard Time, > loriowen@... writes: > > > I think that is why I keep going back to the everything in moderation > > philosophy. > > As someone with an eating disorder, this is exactly the concept I cannot seem > to grasp. I know what moderation is, and what it looks like. But....I > simply cannot put it into play. I do great at deprivation; I do even better > at binging. I can easily eat 1200 calories a day, and love eating 3000 > calories a day. It's trying to eat, say, 2000 calories a day that seems to > escape me. > > Just for the record, this is an all out personality issue for me, I don't do > anything by half-measures or in moderation, including food! > > Kate > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 Damn, I knew I should have got the firm vids..... I bought the DVD Tae-Bo with all 4 on the one disc.... I still can't get it... Randy rlogle@... www.geocities.com/rogle32/ AIM: rlogleeln Open RNY: Sept. 26, 2001: 207 lbs gone. Daddy to Doogun, Jasper, and Zoe. Lord, Please help me to become the Person my Dog's think I am. Re: Slippery saddle > In a message dated 12/20/2002 11:15:19 AM Pacific Standard Time, > rlogle@... writes: > > > however the Tae-Bo is kickin' my butt.... People tell me that I'll catch > > on.. I don't think so.... > > Uh huh. I couldn't just buy a single Tae-Bo tape, I had to buy the set of > four. I simply never made it past the instructional video because after 4 > attempts I could not master the moves (although I must say I do enjoy > watching Billy Blanks sweat, and flex, and ....well, never mind that's not > the point!) > > I gave away my Tae-Bo tapes, and am doing much better with " Aerobics for > Dummies " and really loving the " Firm Body Sculpting System. " > > Kate > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2002 Report Share Posted December 20, 2002 a candy bar or a small brownie or a serving of ice cream does the trick. ___________________________________________________ Okay, am I the only one that knows this? You can get sugar free, low carb chocolate bars.... Even peanut butter cups... They are very very very good, almost no sugar and almost no carbs... I'm eating sugar free vanilla ice cream with sugar free, no carb strawberry preserves mixed in, right now.... It's so very very good...... If you gotta have some chocolate why not some sugar free low carb chocolate? Randy rlogle@... www.geocities.com/rogle32/ AIM: rlogleeln Open RNY: Sept. 26, 2001: 207 lbs gone. Daddy to Doogun, Jasper, and Zoe. Lord, Please help me to become the Person my Dog's think I am. Re: Slippery saddle > Okay, completely makes sense. However, prior to surgery I would eat > everything in site to avoid that one thing that I thought was totally bad > - sugar. If I was craving chocolate, I would eat a whole pizza to avoid > eating a piece of chocolate. When I finally would give into the craving, > a candy bar was no longer enough. I had to have a whole bag of oreos AND > a pound of M&M's. I have discovered that if I have a craving for > chocolate now, I usually try to wait 24 hours. If, after 24 hours, I > still have the craving a candy bar or a small brownie or a serving of ice > cream does the trick. I would much rather do the chocolate in moderation > then to eat everything but the kitchen sink. This is what I mean by > moderation for me. I don't know if this is normal or not. I am not > really sure it is totally working. I do know that I am no longer eating > chocolate or cookies or cakes all day everyday for weeks on end and I > consider that at least a small success. I also no longer weigh 479 lbs. > Lori Owen - Denton, Texas > CHF 4/14/01 479 lbs. > SRVG 7/16/01 401 lbs. > Current Weight 302 lbs. > Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce > > On Fri, 20 Dec 2002 17:53:39 EST kateseidel@... writes: > > In a message dated 12/20/2002 11:35:07 AM Pacific Standard Time, > > loriowen@... writes: > > > > > I think that is why I keep going back to the everything in > > moderation > > > philosophy. > > > > As someone with an eating disorder, this is exactly the concept I > > cannot seem > > to grasp. I know what moderation is, and what it looks like. > > But....I > > simply cannot put it into play. I do great at deprivation; I do > > even better > > at binging. I can easily eat 1200 calories a day, and love eating > > 3000 > > calories a day. It's trying to eat, say, 2000 calories a day that > > seems to > > escape me. > > > > Just for the record, this is an all out personality issue for me, I > > don't do > > anything by half-measures or in moderation, including food! > > > > Kate > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2002 Report Share Posted December 21, 2002 In a message dated 12/20/2002 11:10:54 PM Pacific Standard Time, rlogle@... writes: > If you gotta have some chocolate why not some sugar free low carb chocolate? > (a) laxative effect - I'm a distal procedure and really do not need to encourage loose bowels ( psychological issues - if it's sugar free, I'll eat more because it's not as bad for me. See (a) on laxative effect, above © taste - it does not taste as good as the real thing. Remember, this is all about eating for the wrong reasons, not because I'm hungry. (d) having said all of that, I actually do use the sugar free stuff occasionally, particularly when I can make it myself using Splenda (which does not have a laxative effect). Sugar free cheesecake works quite well Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2002 Report Share Posted December 21, 2002 Thank you Kate. I had tried the sugar free stuff years ago. I would eat the WHOLE thing because it wasn't nearly as bad for me and had loose bowels for what seemed to be days. You know, each one of us is different. Each of us choose our surgeries for different reasons and those reasons work for us. Each of us eats different things for different reasons. It seems to me that in my process of relearning a relationship with food I have to consider why I overate to begin with and what did not work before. Avoiding the sugar, avoiding the chocolate, avoiding foods I had a craving for NEVER EVER worked before surgery. What makes me think it will work after surgery. I always felt deprived before. Do I have to spend my life deprived after? Now I also have to realize that my not loosing more weight has to do with my eating habits too. And I realize that I need to do some fine tuning. But I honestly don't think that DEPRIVATION is the answer for me. Maybe I'm wrong. Lori Owen - Denton, Texas CHF 4/14/01 479 lbs. SRVG 7/16/01 401 lbs. Current Weight 302 lbs. Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce On Sat, 21 Dec 2002 11:19:50 EST kateseidel@... writes: > In a message dated 12/20/2002 11:10:54 PM Pacific Standard Time, > rlogle@... writes: > > > If you gotta have some chocolate why not some sugar free low carb > chocolate? > > > (a) laxative effect - I'm a distal procedure and really do not need > to > encourage loose bowels > > ( psychological issues - if it's sugar free, I'll eat more because > it's not > as bad for me. See (a) on laxative effect, above > > © taste - it does not taste as good as the real thing. Remember, > this is > all about eating for the wrong reasons, not because I'm hungry. > > (d) having said all of that, I actually do use the sugar free stuff > > occasionally, particularly when I can make it myself using Splenda > (which > does not have a laxative effect). Sugar free cheesecake works quite > well > > Kate > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2002 Report Share Posted December 21, 2002 The laxative effect of the sweetner goes away after your body get's used to it... I'm distal also and am fine on it now..... I do understand the other issues... I also think maybe you've been getting the wrong kind if they don't taste as good as the real thing... but okay... Randy rlogle@... www.geocities.com/rogle32/ AIM: rlogleeln Open RNY: Sept. 26, 2001: 207 lbs gone. Daddy to Doogun, Jasper, and Zoe. Lord, Please help me to become the Person my Dog's think I am. Re: Slippery saddle > In a message dated 12/20/2002 11:10:54 PM Pacific Standard Time, > rlogle@... writes: > > > If you gotta have some chocolate why not some sugar free low carb chocolate? > > > (a) laxative effect - I'm a distal procedure and really do not need to > encourage loose bowels > > ( psychological issues - if it's sugar free, I'll eat more because it's not > as bad for me. See (a) on laxative effect, above > > © taste - it does not taste as good as the real thing. Remember, this is > all about eating for the wrong reasons, not because I'm hungry. > > (d) having said all of that, I actually do use the sugar free stuff > occasionally, particularly when I can make it myself using Splenda (which > does not have a laxative effect). Sugar free cheesecake works quite well > > Kate > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2002 Report Share Posted December 22, 2002 A video to add to your collection....and I am NOT a limber person, either! The instructor is in her 60's and this video helps SO MUCH! Lillias Flolan Lillias YOGA cardio challenge FOR BEGINNERS Energy*Flexibility*Strength I bought her set of four off of the internet & I am not a yoga person, or a person who normally COULD get on the floor and back up again. SHE IS GREAT! And I do believe I have more range of motion all the way around, in all/most of my joints..... In a message dated 12/20/2002 10:41:50 PM Pacific Standard Time, rlogle@... writes: > > Damn, I knew I should have got the firm vids..... I bought the DVD Tae-Bo > with all 4 on the one disc.... I still can't get it... > Randy > rlogle@... > www.geocities.com/rogle32/ > AIM: rlogleeln > Open RNY: Sept. 26, 2001: 207 lbs gone. > Daddy to Doogun, Jasper, and Zoe. > Lord, Please help me to become the Person > my Dog's think I am. > Re: Slippery saddle > > > >In a message dated 12/20/2002 11:15:19 AM Pacific Standard Time, > >rlogle@... writes: > > > >>however the Tae-Bo is kickin' my butt.... People tell me that I'll catch > >>on.. I don't think so.... > > > >Uh huh. I couldn't just buy a single Tae-Bo tape, I had to buy the set of > >four. I simply never made it past the instructional video because after 4 > >attempts I could not master the moves (although I must say I do enjoy > >watching Billy Blanks sweat, and flex, and ....well, never mind that's not > >the point!) > > > >I gave away my Tae-Bo tapes, and am doing much better with " Aerobics for > >Dummies " and really loving the " Firm Body Sculpting System. " > > > >Kate > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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