Jokes

[Guest guest]

A woman's garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes

won't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green

tomatoes and she's getting tired of it. So she goes to her

neighbor and says, " Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green.

What can I do about it? "

Her neighbor replies, " Well, it may sound absurd but here's

what to do. After dark go out into your garden and take all

your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they'll

be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they'll all be red,

you'll see. "

Well, what the hell? She does it. Next day her neighbor asks

how it worked. " So-so " she answers. " The tomatoes are still

green but the cucumbers are all five inches longer. "

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, " Doctor, I

have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother

me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a

matter of fact, I've passed gas at least 20 times since

I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was

passing gas because they don't smell and are silent.

The doctor says, " I see, take these pills and come back

to see me next week. "

The next week the lady goes back. " Doctor, " she says, " I

don't know what medicine you gave me, but now my gas.....

although still silent... smells terrible. "

The doctor says, " Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your

sinuses, let's work on your hearing. "

[Guest guest]

Thank You for the wonderful jokes, made me laugh out loud...Sue