Pssstt, who was that? (kind of long)

[Guest guest]

I'm 12 weeks post op from upper/lower advancement (20mm). My healing

from the surgery went very well. I knew exactly what to expect from

reading posts on this board for 2 years, so nothing really came as a

surprise to me EXCEPT when I look in the mirror. I'm not quite sure

who that is looking back at me. Plus when I returned to work many

people kept asking " who is that new employee? " . Add to that family &

friends trying to adapt to the 'new look'. I'm getting tired of the

shocked look people give me when they see me again.

Wow....this part of the recovery process has been extremely difficult

for me (I'm now on an anti-depressant, which has helped somewhat).

I know it's different for each person, but to those out there who had

a dramatic change in their appearance, how long did it take for you

to get used to the person looking back at you?

I mostly don't regret having the surgery done. I have to say that I

had no idea that it was not normal to be able to breath through your

nose when exercising! A week after surgery I went for a walk and was

incredibly shocked that I could get air in through my mouth AND

nose. I had no clue that you could do that. Plus since I had my

lower advanced so far, my doc said I probably avoided getting

obstructive sleep apnea later in life. Ironically, 4 weeks after my

surgery, my mom (who has jaws very similar to how mine were) was

diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea. I know that I did the right

thing by having the surgery. The positives have been amazing for me

(wow, I can actually bite things now!). But every time I look in the

mirror I think 'what have I done?' Will this get better?

Here are a few pics: http://www.geocities.com/unjaniyebo/jaw

Thanks in advance for any insight!

-Britt

[Guest guest]

Hi Britt,

I can totally relate to your post, I also had to learn to deal with

that stranger looking back at me from the mirror. In my case, I'd

lived with my old face for almost 47 years, and I was content, no

idea really that I would experience such change (I had

upper/lower/genio). You can see my pics on site 2 under

Fiddlesticks folder. I was teased a lot as a child, and I guess I

learned to have a thick skin about it, certainly being talented in

areas where one is judged on ability helped.

It just takes time. There was a certain element of fun for me in

seeing how people would react to the change (my younger brother and

his wife totally ignored me when they first saw me post-op, my older

brother right away said " you look great! " ). I learned not to solicit

opinion - when I asked my brother-in-law what he thought, he

said " well, you'll just have to live with it, I guess " (he's the

king of criticism, I should have known better).

I think there is a period of mourning for the old you, it's never

coming back. There are a lot of emotions that can come up in this

kind of situation, and it's good to let them come up and let them go.

Sooner or later the novelty of the change for you and others WILL

wear off. You'll see that person in the mirror and feel comfortable -

it's still you inside, after all! You'll wonder what you used to

look like, looking back at yourself (photos aren't the same, are

they?). Gradually that will fade into the past.

Somedays I think to myself that I'm lucky to have my sight and be

able to SEE that person in the mirror. If I was blind, I wouldn't

know any different. That always puts things in perspective for me.

How long does it take? It's a process of self-acceptance, it's

really up to you. Try not to be affected by what others say or

think. It's more important what you think.

Hang in there, it'll get better, week by week, month by month.

Believe it or not, 12 weeks is still early in the process. I'm sure

you've still got residual swelling that is affecting your appearance

and function, and I've been told that there is residual anaesthesia

in your system that can take months to clear out. I don't mean to

depress you in any way with this, but you've still got a ways to go.

Whine away any time you feel like it. It's good to vent here.

> I'm 12 weeks post op from upper/lower advancement (20mm). My

healing

> from the surgery went very well. I knew exactly what to expect

from

> reading posts on this board for 2 years, so nothing really came as

a

> surprise to me EXCEPT when I look in the mirror. I'm not quite

sure

> who that is looking back at me. Plus when I returned to work

many

> people kept asking " who is that new employee? " . Add to that

family &

> friends trying to adapt to the 'new look'. I'm getting tired of

the

> shocked look people give me when they see me again.

> Wow....this part of the recovery process has been extremely

difficult

> for me (I'm now on an anti-depressant, which has helped somewhat).

> I know it's different for each person, but to those out there who

had

> a dramatic change in their appearance, how long did it take for

you

> to get used to the person looking back at you?

>

> I mostly don't regret having the surgery done. I have to say that

I

> had no idea that it was not normal to be able to breath through

your

> nose when exercising! A week after surgery I went for a walk and

was

> incredibly shocked that I could get air in through my mouth AND

> nose. I had no clue that you could do that. Plus since I had my

> lower advanced so far, my doc said I probably avoided getting

> obstructive sleep apnea later in life. Ironically, 4 weeks after

my

> surgery, my mom (who has jaws very similar to how mine were) was

> diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea. I know that I did the

right

> thing by having the surgery. The positives have been amazing for

me

> (wow, I can actually bite things now!). But every time I look in

the

> mirror I think 'what have I done?' Will this get better?

>

> Here are a few pics: http://www.geocities.com/unjaniyebo/jaw

>

> Thanks in advance for any insight!

>

> -Britt

[Guest guest]

Hi Britt,

I can totally relate to what you are saying. Even though my

appearance changed basically for the better, as says, I had 40

years of the old face that I was used to. As far as your mention of

depression, I think that I cried for about 6 visits in a row to my

surgeon. And I told my husband at one point (about 8 weeks post)

that I looked like a monkey---I felt like the lower face was so much

more forward. I am glad to say that now at 10 months post, I no

longer think I look like a monkey!!

So to answer your question, yes, it will get better. I think it was

about 6 months for me to get used to my new face. I no longer look

at every reflection that I catch of myself and wonder who that is.

Your pictures look great and now your bite and breathing are also

improved. You'll do OK, give it more time.

a

> I'm 12 weeks post op from upper/lower advancement (20mm). My

healing

> from the surgery went very well. I knew exactly what to expect

from

> reading posts on this board for 2 years, so nothing really came as

a

> surprise to me EXCEPT when I look in the mirror. I'm not quite

sure

> who that is looking back at me. Plus when I returned to work many

> people kept asking " who is that new employee? " . Add to that family

&

> friends trying to adapt to the 'new look'. I'm getting tired of

the

> shocked look people give me when they see me again.

> Wow....this part of the recovery process has been extremely

difficult

> for me (I'm now on an anti-depressant, which has helped somewhat).

> I know it's different for each person, but to those out there who

had

> a dramatic change in their appearance, how long did it take for you

> to get used to the person looking back at you?

>

> I mostly don't regret having the surgery done. I have to say that

I

> had no idea that it was not normal to be able to breath through

your

> nose when exercising! A week after surgery I went for a walk and

was

> incredibly shocked that I could get air in through my mouth AND

> nose. I had no clue that you could do that. Plus since I had my

> lower advanced so far, my doc said I probably avoided getting

> obstructive sleep apnea later in life. Ironically, 4 weeks after

my

> surgery, my mom (who has jaws very similar to how mine were) was

> diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea. I know that I did the

right

> thing by having the surgery. The positives have been amazing for

me

> (wow, I can actually bite things now!). But every time I look in

the

> mirror I think 'what have I done?' Will this get better?

>

> Here are a few pics: http://www.geocities.com/unjaniyebo/jaw

>

> Thanks in advance for any insight!

>

> -Britt