Handling the Question

[Guest guest]

Like many of you, the physical changes I have undergone are startling-

--from 329 pounds and a size 56 portly suit in my days as beachball

with legs to 175 pounds and size 40 regular. Added to the the weight

loss, I work out regularly and don't look too bad for a 60 year-old

fart, so I get the inevitable question too: " What's your secret? How

did you do it? " Being nearly three years out from my original WLS I

have gone through a bunch of different answers while I learned to

react properly to the question. I now say: " I lost a lot of weight

because of surgery to get rid of my diabetes and then I added diet

and exercise afterwards to reach the level I am at now. " That's an

answer that I feel comfortable with and it's the absolute truth

without getting too personal or intimate. Most folks are content with

that answer. Some want to press me for more details like: " Was it

the cabbage diet? " To them I respond: " Why do you probe such as a

personal issue? " or if they really irritate me I say: " I drink two

bottles of vinegar every to change my body chemistry and eat only raw

reindeer testacles. " Some others, who may be morbidly obese themself

or are concerned about an MO significant person, will usually

approach me privately later and then I tell them as much as they need

to know based on the individual situation.

Each us eventually finds the answer that works for us. What I still

have trouble with is how to talk to someone you know you could help

with the information you have, but who hasn't asked for the

information. The only way I know how to handle it is to leave it be--

I know how I would have felt if someone came up to me when I MO and

started trying to tell what I should do about it. I feel that people

who know me will ask me directly. Those I don't know would probably

be more hurt than helped by me coming up to them unbidden to talk

about their weight. Anybody have a different approach?

The Nortalian Stallion

[Guest guest]

I always tell an inquirer that I had weight loss surgery. Rarely, I

will get that " You are such a weakling for doing that " look, but most

just remark that the surgery has certainly worked well. One of the most

satisfying results of my surgery has been seeing friends and

acquaintances deciding to have the surgery after observing the first

hand results of my surgery. It is very possible that my candor may have

saved their live.

Ray Hooks

For WLS nutrition info, visit

http://www.bariatricsupplementsystem.com

" Rick Sorensen " wrote:

>

> Like many of you, the physical changes I have undergone are startling-

> --from 329 pounds and a size 56 portly suit in my days as beachball

> with legs to 175 pounds and size 40 regular. Added to the the weight

> loss, I work out regularly and don't look too bad for a 60 year-old

> fart, so I get the inevitable question too: " What's your secret? How

> did you do it? " Being nearly three years out from my original WLS I

> have gone through a bunch of different answers while I learned to

> react properly to the question. I now say: " I lost a lot of weight

> because of surgery to get rid of my diabetes and then I added diet

> and exercise afterwards to reach the level I am at now. " That's an

> answer that I feel comfortable with and it's the absolute truth

> without getting too personal or intimate. Most folks are content with

> that answer. Some want to press me for more details like: " Was it

> the cabbage diet? " To them I respond: " Why do you probe such as a

> personal issue? " or if they really irritate me I say: " I drink two

> bottles of vinegar every to change my body chemistry and eat only raw

> reindeer testacles. " Some others, who may be morbidly obese themself

> or are concerned about an MO significant person, will usually

> approach me privately later and then I tell them as much as they need

> to know based on the individual situation.

>

> Each us eventually finds the answer that works for us. What I still

> have trouble with is how to talk to someone you know you could help

> with the information you have, but who hasn't asked for the

> information. The only way I know how to handle it is to leave it be--

> I know how I would have felt if someone came up to me when I MO and

> started trying to tell what I should do about it. I feel that people

> who know me will ask me directly. Those I don't know would probably

> be more hurt than helped by me coming up to them unbidden to talk

> about their weight. Anybody have a different approach?

>

> The Nortalian Stallion

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>>>> I always tell an inquirer that I had weight loss surgery. Rarely, I

will get that " You are such a weakling for doing that " look, but most just

remark that the surgery has certainly worked well. One of the most

satisfying results of my surgery has been seeing friends and acquaintances

deciding to have the surgery after observing the first hand results of my

surgery. It is very possible that my candor may have saved their live.<<<

I think Ray is good at doing this and I have done it to where

appropriate -- If a friend or relative is also MO and the situation is right

I too share that I had this surgery and just leave it at that until later

when they usually will make contact again to discuss it further.

However, the people that can and do eat normally or just eat like crazy and

never gain a pound anyway are the ones that I don't discuss it with and I

don't tell them. Normal sized people don't " get " it for the most part --

like trying to explain to a male what it is like giving birth -- they sort

of understand but really can never " get " it.

I also don't like my surgery to become the " topic " of conversation among a

bunch of friends or family who are gathered for another purpose (like

Thanksgiving) -- it is later I would go to the side and share with the one

who might benefit from knowing about my own journey with WLS.

I've also gained wisdom from 's experience of telling someone who

didn't ask. There is a lady who eats at one of the repeat resurants we go to

and she is always alone, always looks sad, keeps her head down and I just

have this urge to hug her and tell her their is hope... and I want to share

with her BUT I don't. She is a total stranger and I think it would be rude

for me to do that. I just wish I could in some way bring her some comfort

because I see " me " in her so much.

I think we often walk a tight rope about who to discuss this with, when a

good time for that discussion would be and who would gain something from

knowing and who wouldn't. There is no one at the table that would qualify so

why discuss it? Even my cousin who made the rude (tone of voice) remark to

me about when we were both fat had lost a bunch of weight, had a very minor

stroke just months before and wasn't a candidate for the surgery.

Sharing our experience where we can be of service to others is helpful. I

have to agree with that but just to talk about it constantly is not a good

feeling for me among those who have no idea and who begin the comparisons

between the " stars " who have had it done or the " friend of a friend who died

because of... " -- well, that just isn't the " topic " of conversation I want

at the table when we should be enjoying our time together.

Each one of us is totally different though and each of us does what is

right for ourselves -- I don't believe anyone is " wrong " in how we handle

the " Question " -- it is simply about how we " feel " at that moment and with

who we are around or talking with.

What a blessing that we are all still around to even be having this

conversation huh ~smile~

hugz all,

~denise