scared

December 27, 2002

Donna, I also have to add in, that the people who post to the message boards

are not necessarily a true representation of post ops. An enormous amount to

people have succeeded (whatever their definition of success is) who no longer

post to the boards. They go about their daily lives without talking about

it. We have a cousin 18 years out, still healthy, still down to goal. That

is why the surgeons are trying to get their patients to report back for life.

They do not charge for the yearly check up. Hopefully enough people will do

this so we can have some useful statistics.

Fay Bayuk

December 27, 2002

In a message dated 12/27/2002 8:49:43 AM Eastern Standard Time,

w82go2001@... writes:

> After reading all of your posts I am truly scared that it is

> inevitable that I am just going to gain back all the weight I lost

> just like every other time I ever lost weight. I am 17 months PO. Is

> there anyone here who has had success besides Jacque? It's amazing

> to me that so many of you have such terrible health problems and yet

> still are struggling with weight.

*******************************

Donna, I'm sure others will comment as well, but please remember that we have

almost 3000 people on this list and, although many are lurkers, you will hear

about and remember the bad health problems mentioned, but usually not the

good results. I can guarantee that most people who consistently take care of

themselves, take their vitamins and protein religiously, for the most part,

are just fine in the long-term. Sure, sh*t happens, but all too often, it's

because we feel invincible and just neglect the obvious. It really wasn't in

the small print before we had the surgery, but in our research, most of us

had read about the " bounceback " effect. But, in our dreams of health and

thinness, it seemed so minute in the grand scheme of things. However, when

we experience it, it brings back all those terrible memories of diet

failures.

>> I wish I had found you all sooner and then the reality check would have

kicked in sooner.<<

****You're here now, and that's what counts. All is not lost. There is an

incredible amount of knowledge and support on this board, and barring the

need for real professional counseling and/or medical intervention, most

problems can be addressed and

our disease put back in remission.

Good luck sweetie, we're here with you.

Hugs,

in NJ

December 27, 2002

In a message dated 12/27/2002 5:08:30 AM Pacific Standard Time,

w82go2001@... writes:

> I am just dismayed at the failure rate I am seeing here on this board.

Hmmmm - I guess I just don't see most of the folks here as failures,

including myself. You'll see me post frequently on my frustration with my

own eating habits, my desire to lose the " last 15 " pounds, and on and on. I

guess I do sound like a failed surgery because what I really and truly wanted

was a miracle, and not a freakin' tool .

The reality is I am a size 10 (down from a 26). I cannot see that as

anything but a success. I certainly would like it better if I didn't have to

work at it, but I'm okay with the work (well, at least while I'm on

anti-depressants I'm okay with it. Stay tuned for next month when I go off

them...)

Welcome to our group; I think people should be scared, or at least alert to

the realities of this surgery. If we can help you get on or stay on track,

that would be terrific. (and let's all go visit your surgeon's board and

kick some " gone forever " butt!!)

Kate

December 27, 2002

Donna, it's normal to be scared, we'll never be " normal, " we'll always be

obese in our genes, darn it, we can't change that with surgery. I am 18

months post-op and holding steady, maintaining my weight loss which I never

could do with a diet. I do have some foods I shouldn't have once in a while,

but for the most part I eat the same way every day since my surgery. A bite

of a treat isn't going to make me gain back 5-10 pounds, but if I let it get

out of control I can see that happening and it happens fast. My sister and

daughter also had the surgery and we talk about these struggles together as

well as in our support group. It sure helps to talk to others that struggle

the same way with food post-op.

Hang in there and just do your best, try to up your exercise if you want to

eat a bit more, that's what " normies " do! I hope you are a success.

Take care,

Donna M.

Corpus Chrisit, TX

RNY 6-7-01 241/133

> >>> " w82go2001@...>

> Subject: scared

>

> After reading all of your posts I am truly scared that it is

> inevitable that I am just going to gain back all the weight I lost

> just like every other time I ever lost weight. I am 17 months PO. Is

> there anyone here who has had success besides Jacque?

December 27, 2002

After reading all of your posts I am truly scared that it is

inevitable that I am just going to gain back all the weight I lost

just like every other time I ever lost weight. I am 17 months PO. Is

there anyone here who has had success besides Jacque? It's amazing

to me that so many of you have such terrible health problems and yet

still are struggling with weight. Good Lord, what does it take to be

thin? I thought I had succumed to the ultimate by going under the

knife and having my anatomy rearranged and even this does not help in

the long run? Please don't start with the " it's only a tool "

diatribe. I know that. I am just dismayed at the failure rate I am

seeing here on this board. I made the mistake of staying too long on

my surgeon's message board where there are a few people always saying

that the pounds are gone forever and that they never diet, eat

whatever they want and some of them saying that they keep losing no

matter what. In fact I have gotten more bad advice and started more

bad habits by reading that board than anything else that has affected

me adversly. Now that the bad advice has ruined my good habits I

will have to start all over. It would have been easier just not to

have started. Anyway, that's another book for another day. But it

just makes me mad. I wish I had found you all sooner and then the

reality check would have kicked in sooner. In fact there is one lady

on that board that if you so much as mention one little negative

thing she will let you have it. It's basically useless and worse

than that harmful. It's more like a promotional tool for the surgeon

to get more business. I can't be critical of the surgeon because he

didn't even start the board it's just some of his over zealous

patients and only the successful ones that feel comfortable over

there. Ok, sorry to ramble.

Donna

December 27, 2002

OK, I won't tell you that it is only a tool. But i will tell you

that you need to keep up the good habits, and ditch the bad ones.

There is a blessed few people that get to goal, and stay there no

matter what they eat, or what habits they have. Then there are those

of us that need to be diligent about what we eat and how we cook it.

THat is the majority of us. Does that mean that you can never

partake in a bite or two of something. No, but it does mean that you

probably will not be eating a whole peice of cheese cake for the

rest of your life. But that is not a bad thing.

As for health issues. I personally am healthier then I have ever

been. And so are many other people on this board. So do not be

discouraged. I am off of all my medications from preop, and I can

breath very well for the first time in many years. I am starting to

show some of the symptoms that they talk about on here regarding

reactive hypoglycemia. But, I have found that eating right, and

getting in protein thorugh out the day makes those symptoms much

less. At least right now it does. THis will be something that I will

definately be watching.

As for your surgeons message board being only the good news

bears..well, i understand that also. I have one of those for my

surgeons board as well. I often encourage people to come here and

lurk before their first anniversary. Lord knows that I did. Many

people elevate the surgeons on to a pedestal, and if you dare to

mention that anything is wrong with you/ your surgery/ your

recovery, they take it as a personal attack on the surgeon. Even

thought that is not what it usually is. As you know, there is good,

and there is bad to EVERY surgery, including this one. We need to be

able to talk about both sides of the fence. If you can't, as you

said, it can be misleading.

I'm glad that you have come to this board. You will get lots of good

information. Sometimes more than you want( example- the poop

conversations of two weeks gone by). But at least someone here may

have answers, and even if they do not have answers, they will

support you through what ever you are going through.

> After reading all of your posts I am truly scared that it is

> inevitable that I am just going to gain back all the weight I lost

> just like every other time I ever lost weight. I am 17 months PO.

Is

> there anyone here who has had success besides Jacque? It's

amazing

> to me that so many of you have such terrible health problems and

yet

> still are struggling with weight. Good Lord, what does it take to

be

> thin? I thought I had succumed to the ultimate by going under the

> knife and having my anatomy rearranged and even this does not help

in

> the long run? Please don't start with the " it's only a tool "

> diatribe. I know that. I am just dismayed at the failure rate I

am

> seeing here on this board. I made the mistake of staying too long

on

> my surgeon's message board where there are a few people always

saying

> that the pounds are gone forever and that they never diet, eat

> whatever they want and some of them saying that they keep losing

no

> matter what. In fact I have gotten more bad advice and started

more

> bad habits by reading that board than anything else that has

affected

> me adversly. Now that the bad advice has ruined my good habits I

> will have to start all over. It would have been easier just not

to

> have started. Anyway, that's another book for another day. But

it

> just makes me mad. I wish I had found you all sooner and then the

> reality check would have kicked in sooner. In fact there is one

lady

> on that board that if you so much as mention one little negative

> thing she will let you have it. It's basically useless and worse

> than that harmful. It's more like a promotional tool for the

surgeon

> to get more business. I can't be critical of the surgeon because

he

> didn't even start the board it's just some of his over zealous

> patients and only the successful ones that feel comfortable over

> there. Ok, sorry to ramble.

>

> Donna

December 27, 2002

I can appreciate the frustration, but there's a lot to the " diatribe "

about the WLS procedure being a " tool. " You've been " adjusted " to

lose by means of malabsorption and capacity...but there's a metabolic

issue to consider as well as simple math dealing with calories in

versus expended calories by basal rate or output.

You've gotten a few issues off of your chest, the next thing should

be your chin. Get off of the WLS Boards and set your own course of

action. I can ramble on all day about what I did right and wrong,

but you've got to come up with the solutions either by a concensus of

your opinion of others that discuss their problems here and there, or

by contacting someone to help you now with a plan of action.

At the gym...there should be someone there on the clock or by the

hour to start you with a Personalized Training Program to up your

cardio and work on some muscles (big muscles eat big amounts of

calories) to increase your metabolic rate. It won't happen sitting

in front of your screen today, tomorrow or the next time you step on

the scale for a reality check.

There are those professionals coming out of the woodwork that deal

with Bariatric Surgical Patients that can't keep with the recommended

program of intake; as well, most WLS surgeons can probably direct you

to a dietician or nutritionist to set you straight on what you will

and won't eat for the rest of your life.

These folks will cost a couple of bucks...a fraction of what you or

your insuror paid to complete the surgery. It's gonna be a Donna

Call as to whether or not you're going to avail the new plumbing and

work towards your goal.

" Good lord, what does it take to be thin? " Geeez?

Come on...you've taken the big step. You didn't miss any boat or

window of opportunity yet, but if you're set on jeopardizing your

surgery with returning to pre-surgery habits...you'll do it. If you

want to achieve your goal, ask for all the help that's out there and

you'll be able to do it. But if the messages on the WLS boards are

creating turmoil while you're making up your mind...log off this and

other sites and make a new start.

It's a lifestyle decision kiddo...and all yours to make. Too many

success storys will negate your tale at post 17 months and if I can

impart the one item that I hope you'll take note...not one of the

successes here or that I've met over the past few years runs a

negative campaign within themselves...they're positive, proactive and

upbeat. They choose to appreciate and optimize the opportunity by

maintainence of intake and output....like all the other svelte's out

there in the world. It's a good, sound and successful daily

affirmation that eventually turns into lifestyle. I hope you can

find the same in the very near future and get back on program.

Dan

rny10.13.98

EdWaits,MD-Atlanta

> After reading all of your posts I am truly scared that it is

> inevitable that I am just going to gain back all the weight I lost

> just like every other time I ever lost weight. I am 17 months PO.

Is

> there anyone here who has had success besides Jacque? It's amazing

> to me that so many of you have such terrible health problems and

yet

> still are struggling with weight. Good Lord, what does it take to

be

> thin? I thought I had succumed to the ultimate by going under the

> knife and having my anatomy rearranged and even this does not help

in

> the long run? Please don't start with the " it's only a tool "

> diatribe. I know that. I am just dismayed at the failure rate I

am

> seeing here on this board. I made the mistake of staying too long

on

> my surgeon's message board where there are a few people always

saying

> that the pounds are gone forever and that they never diet, eat

> whatever they want and some of them saying that they keep losing no

> matter what. In fact I have gotten more bad advice and started

more

> bad habits by reading that board than anything else that has

affected

> me adversly. Now that the bad advice has ruined my good habits I

> will have to start all over. It would have been easier just not to

> have started. Anyway, that's another book for another day. But it

> just makes me mad. I wish I had found you all sooner and then the

> reality check would have kicked in sooner. In fact there is one

lady

> on that board that if you so much as mention one little negative

> thing she will let you have it. It's basically useless and worse

> than that harmful. It's more like a promotional tool for the

surgeon

> to get more business. I can't be critical of the surgeon because

he

> didn't even start the board it's just some of his over zealous

> patients and only the successful ones that feel comfortable over

> there. Ok, sorry to ramble.

>

> Donna

December 27, 2002

In a message dated 12/27/02 7:08:24 AM Central Standard Time,

w82go2001@... writes:

<< It's more like a promotional tool for the surgeon to get more business.

>>

-----------------------------

This is precisely why I no longer go to support group meetings at the

hospital where I had my RNY; felt like a shill for the doc every time. Most

of the q's are from pre-ops wanting info and the post-op concerns almost

never get addressed.

Carol A

December 27, 2002

Amen ....

I totally agree. I had my surgery Nov 20th 2001 and have lost 120 lbs. Oh,

i get a little aches and pains once in awhile and i get or was getting a

little worried about it, i mean who wouldn't. We've had part of our

intestines removed or bypassed or whatever. But would i do this again?

YES, YES, YES!!

Christmas has been kind of a touchy one. I did some baking and taste

testing, and couldn't belieave it still lost 3 lbs.

Now i can get back on the stick and get all the sweets out of the house and

lay off the carbs a little more and hopefully start on the loosing mode a

little faster.

Tracey

Northern Minn

----- Original Message -----

December 27, 2002

Hear, hear!

We were professionals in putting this weight on; we have to be professionals

about keeping it off.

I've been going to the gym of late and I ache all over. But I've experienced

the alternative and I don't want to go back there.

/john

Re: scared

> I can appreciate the frustration, but there's a lot to the " diatribe "

> about the WLS procedure being a " tool. " You've been " adjusted " to

> lose by means of malabsorption and capacity...but there's a metabolic

> issue to consider as well as simple math dealing with calories in

> versus expended calories by basal rate or output.

>

> You've gotten a few issues off of your chest, the next thing should

> be your chin. Get off of the WLS Boards and set your own course of

> action. I can ramble on all day about what I did right and wrong,

> but you've got to come up with the solutions either by a concensus of

> your opinion of others that discuss their problems here and there, or

> by contacting someone to help you now with a plan of action.

>

> At the gym...there should be someone there on the clock or by the

> hour to start you with a Personalized Training Program to up your

> cardio and work on some muscles (big muscles eat big amounts of

> calories) to increase your metabolic rate. It won't happen sitting

> in front of your screen today, tomorrow or the next time you step on

> the scale for a reality check.

>

> There are those professionals coming out of the woodwork that deal

> with Bariatric Surgical Patients that can't keep with the recommended

> program of intake; as well, most WLS surgeons can probably direct you

> to a dietician or nutritionist to set you straight on what you will

> and won't eat for the rest of your life.

>

> These folks will cost a couple of bucks...a fraction of what you or

> your insuror paid to complete the surgery. It's gonna be a Donna

> Call as to whether or not you're going to avail the new plumbing and

> work towards your goal.

>

> " Good lord, what does it take to be thin? " Geeez?

>

> Come on...you've taken the big step. You didn't miss any boat or

> window of opportunity yet, but if you're set on jeopardizing your

> surgery with returning to pre-surgery habits...you'll do it. If you

> want to achieve your goal, ask for all the help that's out there and

> you'll be able to do it. But if the messages on the WLS boards are

> creating turmoil while you're making up your mind...log off this and

> other sites and make a new start.

>

> It's a lifestyle decision kiddo...and all yours to make. Too many

> success storys will negate your tale at post 17 months and if I can

> impart the one item that I hope you'll take note...not one of the

> successes here or that I've met over the past few years runs a

> negative campaign within themselves...they're positive, proactive and

> upbeat. They choose to appreciate and optimize the opportunity by

> maintainence of intake and output....like all the other svelte's out

> there in the world. It's a good, sound and successful daily

> affirmation that eventually turns into lifestyle. I hope you can

> find the same in the very near future and get back on program.

>

> Dan

> rny10.13.98

> EdWaits,MD-Atlanta

>

> > After reading all of your posts I am truly scared that it is

> > inevitable that I am just going to gain back all the weight I lost

> > just like every other time I ever lost weight. I am 17 months PO.

> Is

> > there anyone here who has had success besides Jacque? It's amazing

> > to me that so many of you have such terrible health problems and

> yet

> > still are struggling with weight. Good Lord, what does it take to

> be

> > thin? I thought I had succumed to the ultimate by going under the

> > knife and having my anatomy rearranged and even this does not help

> in

> > the long run? Please don't start with the " it's only a tool "

> > diatribe. I know that. I am just dismayed at the failure rate I

> am

> > seeing here on this board. I made the mistake of staying too long

> on

> > my surgeon's message board where there are a few people always

> saying

> > that the pounds are gone forever and that they never diet, eat

> > whatever they want and some of them saying that they keep losing no

> > matter what. In fact I have gotten more bad advice and started

> more

> > bad habits by reading that board than anything else that has

> affected

> > me adversly. Now that the bad advice has ruined my good habits I

> > will have to start all over. It would have been easier just not to

> > have started. Anyway, that's another book for another day. But it

> > just makes me mad. I wish I had found you all sooner and then the

> > reality check would have kicked in sooner. In fact there is one

> lady

> > on that board that if you so much as mention one little negative

> > thing she will let you have it. It's basically useless and worse

> > than that harmful. It's more like a promotional tool for the

> surgeon

> > to get more business. I can't be critical of the surgeon because

> he

> > didn't even start the board it's just some of his over zealous

> > patients and only the successful ones that feel comfortable over

> > there. Ok, sorry to ramble.

> >

> > Donna

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

December 27, 2002

Donna wrote:

> I am just dismayed at the failure rate I am

seeing here on this board. I made the mistake of staying too long on

my surgeon's message board where there are a few people always saying

that the pounds are gone forever and that they never diet, eat whatever

they want and some of them saying that they keep losing no matter what.

Donna, I think you have to keep things in perspective here. Keep in

mind that the people who post about regain here are probably a smallish

minority of the actual board members -- this board has, what, 3000+

members? And those who have had serious regain (more than the 20 - 50%

or so that is predicted in a lot of studies) are the ones who are upset

enough to post. So it's a self-selecting minority, not " the majority of

posters " or anything like it. As for health problems, I think that many

of us have experienced those, but it's a trade-off, against the high

blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, heart disease,

fatty liver, etc. that come with the territory of morbid obesity.

(Those are just some of my pre-surgery co-morbs. I now have low blood

pressure, low cholesterol, a healthy heart, a healthy liver, etc....but

now and again I get some nausea or a bit of a tummy ache when I

overindulge. To me, there's no comparison.)

I, too, know many people who are " eating whatever they want " and still

losing...but they're mostly in the first year post-surgery, before our

bodies clue in and realize that they're going to have to work a little

harder to hold onto that fat, or they're going to starve to death. We

all know the " it's only a tool " mantra, but I wish more doctors would

be as straight with us as mine was with me, and say, " You are always

going to be morbidly obese, no matter what you weigh. I can do this

surgery, but it will be up to you to keep your disease in remission for

the rest of your life, by following the rules we set down here. " I

appreciated his bluntness then, and I appreciate it even more now, as I

catch myself trying to " sneak in " extra foods, and then realize that

the only person I'm fooling is myself. Sometimes the " dutch uncle "

approach is the best! LOL

Anyway, speaking of doing my part to keep this damn thing in remission,

I have to get myself out to a cardio class. Yes, it sucks, doing that

two days after Xmas when the entire world seems to be sleeping off a

major food and drink binge, but the cold hard truth is, this class is

part of what is going to keep me thin...and healthy. For the rest of my

life. That's a promise I've made to myself, and I am taking it very,

very seriously.

Take care,

I.

--

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

RNY September 19, 2001

Dr. Freeman, Ottawa General Hospital

BMI then: 43.5

BMI now: 22

-152 lbs

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

December 27, 2002

Donna

Don't be scared. I am a bit more than a year out and I still have 60-

80 pounds to go to get to goal, but am I a failure? NO. Even if I

never lost another pound I feel like a success. My health has

improved 300% and I have a life again. This is success.

Yes we all have our demons that we have to conquer, and most of us do

not metabolize food correctly so we must exercise (even when we don't

want to, which is most of the time LOL) But we have life!!! Many of

us may not be here today (and I am probably one of them) if we did

not have this surgery.

I thank God everyday for this chance of life.

We are just like normal people...we harp on what we don't like, etc.

People complain cuz it's raining, but they don't complain when the

weathers nice

Terri in Temecula

December 27, 2002

I'm doing ok at 8 yrs out. Still the same size I've been for many years,

about 110-115, 150 lost. Shhhhh, they have not found me.

I do follow a specific program, but largely, I eat normally. I avoid milk &

sugar. Sometimes sugar doesn't avoid me.

Regardless of this not being perfect, I was not breathing much longer as I

was pre-op. Diabetes was just around the corner. I buried my ex from his

cholesterol at 49. Nope, not perfect, darn it. But considering this is a

treatment, well, I've done worse things & THEY didn't work.

Thanks,

Vitalady T

www.vitalady.com

If you are interested in PayPal, please click here:

https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com

scared

> After reading all of your posts I am truly scared that it is

> inevitable that I am just going to gain back all the weight I lost

> just like every other time I ever lost weight. I am 17 months PO. Is

> there anyone here who has had success besides Jacque? It's amazing

> to me that so many of you have such terrible health problems and yet

> still are struggling with weight. Good Lord, what does it take to be

> thin? I thought I had succumed to the ultimate by going under the

> knife and having my anatomy rearranged and even this does not help in

> the long run? Please don't start with the " it's only a tool "

> diatribe. I know that. I am just dismayed at the failure rate I am

> seeing here on this board. I made the mistake of staying too long on

> my surgeon's message board where there are a few people always saying

> that the pounds are gone forever and that they never diet, eat

> whatever they want and some of them saying that they keep losing no

> matter what. In fact I have gotten more bad advice and started more

> bad habits by reading that board than anything else that has affected

> me adversly. Now that the bad advice has ruined my good habits I

> will have to start all over. It would have been easier just not to

> have started. Anyway, that's another book for another day. But it

> just makes me mad. I wish I had found you all sooner and then the

> reality check would have kicked in sooner. In fact there is one lady

> on that board that if you so much as mention one little negative

> thing she will let you have it. It's basically useless and worse

> than that harmful. It's more like a promotional tool for the surgeon

> to get more business. I can't be critical of the surgeon because he

> didn't even start the board it's just some of his over zealous

> patients and only the successful ones that feel comfortable over

> there. Ok, sorry to ramble.

>

> Donna

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

December 28, 2002

Not everyone has a weight regain problem. Some, myself included, have a

problem maintaining their weight. It is a daily struggle for me to get

in enough to eat. I think that in the final analysis, WLS just trades

one set of problems for another, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

The health problems from morbid obesity are usually far more severe than

those from WLS. IMHO.

Ray Hooks

http://www.bariatricsupplementsystem.com

" w82go2001 " wrote: