I just realized again that I am using my fistula as an excuse to eat!

[Guest guest]

As I sit back and read through posts after posts including some of

my own I know another reason why. When I was first diagnosed with

the fistula and when my surgeon said you will have pain and weight

gain I said that's why I gained those 20lbs back that was August. I

could've made it stop there what helped cause the eating frenzy was

the two failed attemps at plugging that darn thing up. I was so

angry that I went through all of that and they didn't work now my

only choice now is major surgery which scares me alot. I am afraid

it's not going to work and that my grandma will pass while I am

recovering so I won't get to say goodbye. This surgery is going to

be worse than anything that I have experienced before. I think I

mentioned this before all other surgeries were done lap except the

spleenectomy and I had no choice with that one. Same here cutting

through scar tissue and adhesions cutting away the bypassed stomach

I have no choice but it has to be done and I am realizing that more

and more each day. I don't have to eat and I get pain. They say

anger is Fear, Hurt, and Frustration well I tend to agree I am

starting to have alot of fear again and the frustration is through

the roof. I am so thankful that I can share and receive support

from this group I am probally one of the youngest members but I

appreceiate all your encouragement and kind words just wish I could

be more supportive to all of you who are struggling with some

issue. I have been told I am an encourager and have so much

preservernce when others would've given up but your not seeing much

encouragement from me now. I am sorry for that. I am also working

on that too and trying to see what good will come from all of this

chaos.

Kristy

[Guest guest]

> As I sit back and read through posts after posts including some of

> my own I know another reason why. When I was first diagnosed with

> the fistula and when my surgeon said you will have pain and weight

> gain I said that's why I gained those 20lbs back that was August. <<

********************

Krissy, don't be too hard on yourself. When I found out I had a

staple line disruption when I was 6 months out from , depression

hit. It was like a license to eat again, you know, that old " why me "

syndrome, as well as knowing I was going to have it taken care of, so

why not pig out again. Due to a change in insurance and surgeon's

schedules, it was another 6 months until I had the transection, and I

had gained 17 pounds. Sure, could have been worse, but it was a

setback never-the-less. Anyway, my point is, having to go through

another surgery to fix the broken one is an emotional roller

coaster. I'm glad you're here, so we can help take care of you (I

hope ). Your surgeon sounds like he's very good, so let us help

with the head part as best we can, K?

Hugs,

in NJ