A few thoughts on marriage

[Guest guest]

A few thoughts on marriage

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You know what I did before I married?

Anything I wanted to.  -- Henny Youngman

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to

suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. -- Ann Bancroft

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

                 -- lin

My wife dresses to kill.  She cooks the same way.

                 -- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.  Then we met.

                 -- Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

           !      -- Milton Berle

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

                -- Burns

When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping.

Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

                  -- Elaine Boosler

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

                  -- Phyllis Diller

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

                  -- Henny Youngman