RE: Happy New Year (Judy)

[Guest guest]

>First, I have a lovely 9 year old granddaughter who is overweight and

suffering. She is in a new school for gifted

> children and is being teased and bullied about her weight and her

name-Indigo. I just don't know how to help her. She lives with my

ex-daughter-in-law who has always been kind and generous to us regarding

visits with my Granddaughter. And I think that she would be OK if I brought

up the topic to her-but what advice can I give her?! I have read horror

stories about people who have been forced to diet at a young age. I don't

want this for my sweetheart.

Dear Judy, It is wonderful that you are aware of the teasing and the out of

control eating -- My oldest (22) was also in the gifted and talented group,

she was over weight and she wore glasses -- all a good set-up for being the

" getter " of the teasing... I made some BAD choices about how to approach her

eating and she is still dealing with her weight issues by using all those

bad things I taught her -- starvation, diet pills and so on... you are wise

to take time to learn how the " good and healthy " way to deal with your grand

daughters weight -- if she is already displaying some " Food Issues " (hiding

the cookies off to her room to eat them is a good indication that she

already has food issues) my advice would be to seek professional help with

your daughter-in-law first so, as adults, you both can learn the healthy way

to approach it and then set up a plan of action.

>>> Second, I had my surgery 18 months ago and all went well until this past

summer. I gained 10 pounds because of grazing all day and then felt so

guilty that I let myself gain another 10. I feel like the world's biggest

failure. I am the leader of a support group for weight loss surgery patients

and I have written a workbook for WLS patients, So I certainly should never

have found myself with this problem. So now I am not only a failure, I am a

hypocrite if I talk about the success of the surgery. Help!<<<

Well, I think I made it well known that I had to do battle with an extra

solid 16 pounds and 3 jean sizes up this past summer. I wanted to keep it a

secret and not let you all know just how bad I had screwed up but the time

came when I finally had to beg for someone to send me some larger jeans to

fit into. It all began for me at the end of May when I went on vacation and

just this last 2 - 3 weeks have I FINALLY gotten back into my own jeans, got

the weight off and regained control over my eating, my choices, my life and

habits.

I really did feel like a failure and I didn't want to TELL anyone!!! I

didn't even tell my husband until I was really at my bottom of the weight

gain and knew " I " had to do something drastic to get myself back. I sure

didn't want to tell my local support group and I didn't want to tell ANY

on-line group since I'm like one of the few who made it to goal and stayed

there for well over a year -- well, guess what???? I AIN'T PERFECT and I

SCREW UP just like the next person -- I had set myself up for being " unable "

to fail and began to feel bullet proof since the first part of the loosing

was so easy for me -- maintaining was harder but doable -- finally... the

gain came -- three sizes of jeans later it finally dawned on me that I had

to participate in loosing it and part of that -- the biggest part -- was

admitting that I had this gaining problem to everyone... I'm not perfect and

I can gain it just as easy -- easier -- than I lost it.

Then I had to decide what I could do about it and it had to be something I

could live with for life... not a " diet " type thing that would probably get

the weight off but not stay off because dieting doesn't work for me (us?)

we proved that by doing every possible diet before we have this surgery --

I had to go ALL the way back to the beginning and start over and I took it

off...

Maybe it is time to add a chapter to that book you've written about

grazing, weight gain, how to take it back off, getting back on track and

that ANYONE can gain / re-gain / that this surgery tool only helps us to

put our disease of Obesity in remission -- for as long as we use the tool --

but when we get off track we will gain the weight back and it is SO FAST and

much more difficult to take it off the second time around

If your putting together a good workbook it sure should include a chapter

or more on " re-gain " how it happens and what to do about it -- don't leave

out that important part that many of us go through at some point post-op.

By experiencing this yourself you'll be able to truly write about your own

experience, how it happened and what you have to do to get things back

under control for yourself... that part should be in any post-op workbook

because I'd bet almost all of us go through that at one time or another at

some point post op.

hugz,

~denise