a heavy child

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/30/02 7:04:14 AM, Graduate-OSSG writes:

<< is being teased and bullied about her weight and her name-Indigo. I just

don't know how to help her. >>

Dear one:

I would encourage you to speak to her mother right away and to encourage her

to take up the issue with the principal of the school. Since the Columbine

massacre, there is increased awareness about the inappropriateness of

taunting and tormenting others.

What used to be called " teasing' or " boys will be boys " or " girls can be so

cruel to each other " is named now by aware people for what it is, verbal

assault and abuse. It should not have taken 'a Columbine' to point out the

lack of regard and lack of awareness most adults had for children who were

being assaulted daily.

Even if Columbie massacre had never occured, this matter of taunting and

bullying others was long overdue to be intervened in. What I encouraged at

Columbine was the upholding of a standard that is acceptible in the business

world (It was incredible to hear people say " the children have to learn to

live in the real world " and then not teach the children how to do so.) Here

is my guideline: If it would not fly in an office setting, it is not

appropriate at school or on the playground either; this includes putting

hands on another without consent, saying " I was just playing " when in fact

with the strangling, organ punches, kicking and gouging, they were indeed

assaulting another human being. This guideline includes tempering of

language. Think what you want, but keep it to yourself; teaching THAT kind of

self control to children is an excellent idea. Teaching chldren not to take

on what they hear at home without question is also a good idea in some cases

where the parents themselves are malevolent toward others. Teaching children

what constitutes abuse and assault, whether of themselves or othrs, is the

" real world. "

If the principle refuses to intervene, and gives all the hackneyed phrases of

how he or she was once " teased " and got through it alright, or any of the

other grotesque patronizations adults who are still unaware tend to give,

then befriend a member of the school board: I assure you, they do not want

'an incident,' that is publicity about their not taking care of business at

this level at school.

Many people in the world are fat. It is considered a flaw, a disorder, a

disease, an inheritance, depending on who is speaking. But, regardless, that

this condition exists in some does not excuse cruelty in others. The heavy

child is not the catalyst for the cruelty of others. The mismanaged heart is

the cause of cruelty toward others. Put the responsibility where it belongs.

On what is in each child's heart that motivates their tongues. On what their

parents have taught their own children to carry in their hearts. Sometimes as

a parent tries to teach their own child not to overeat, not to " be

overweight, " they at the same time teach them abject hatred of others who

struggle with these issues. This is WRONG. It is wrong to poison the hearts

of children toward others who are different from them, whether religiously,

spiritually, intellectually, ethnically, physically or otherwise. It is

wrong, it has always been a failure of goliness to teach such things.

Yes, I have heard it all, " political correctness, " many call this idea of

acting civil toward others P.C has become over the years while held in the

hands of bitter cynics, just an excuse for every form of longing toward

vulgarity imaginable. But, the buck stops here. You're a grandmother. I am a

grandmother. A lot of us onlist are fierce mothers --and you can take that

anyway you like. The only way such matters of violence against children will

stop is if upright men and women will intervene. It is not a matter of asking

or begging the school system to wake up. It is a matter of insisting.

I hope you will hear this as encouragement to do what you know in your heart

is right. We cannot change or fix what is broken if we remain afraid to speak

up and keep speaking up. I know most here flutter a bit in standing for

themselves sometimes. But I do not know a one here, woman or man, that would

waver a moment in standing up for a child.

Do your best and God will shadow you

love,

ceep

[Guest guest]

There you go again, Right on as usual. I hope you don't mind if I forward

this to others. Fay

[Guest guest]

there you go again, being daring and upright.

its oky with me as long as my name stays with it

love,

ceep

In a message dated 12/30/02 10:59:58 AM, FBayuk writes:

<< There you go again, Right on as usual. I hope you don't mind if I forward

this to others. Fay >>