My fat kid story.. Long...

[Guest guest]

Randy: You are perfect proof of the statement " what doesn't kill us makes us

stronger. " You are my idea of what all of humanity should be. Thanks for

sharing. Fay Bayuk

[Guest guest]

>

> << is being teased and bullied about her weight and her name-

Indigo. I just

> don't know how to help her. >>

I really hope something someone writes will help you decide what to

do about this situation. My most vivid memory of high school is not

a good one. In the 9th grade we, as a class, would go to lunch

during our math class. The teacher would tell us that we had to go

to the bathroom after lunch and would not allow us to go during

class. I was in the bathroom, trying to hurry up before " the others "

came in. I didn't make it this day. I was in the stall urinating,

the stall door was kicked open, as a fat kid I knew not to turn

around and look, " just finish and get out " . I then felt the wetness

on my legs, three of the guy's were urinating on me, while several

others, including them, chanted, " save the whale, save the whale,

we've gotta keep him wet. " When I went back to class, dripping wet,

the math teacher asked me what I meant coming to his class wet. I

told him what had happened, he announced it to the class and then

said, " If anyone get's pee'd on, like Mr. Ogle, and come's to my

class you're in trouble, Mr. Ogle, do not come back to my class with

pissy pants. " I was mortified. I told no one, not my parents, no

one. I dropped out of school shortly after that. I missed a part of

my life that no one should miss because of bullies. Have I done

okay? Sure I have, I had my GED by the time I was 17, had a BS in

nursing by the time I was 21, now have a Masters degree. I have some

close friends, a good home, great dogs, great job, good money and...

I'm thin......... The only good thing is that I can go to the

grocery store close to my old high school and see my 9th. grade math

teacher.... He's bagging groceries and pushing buggies, I feel sorry

for him... The worst bully from high school, Todd, was one of my

patients. several months ago. At 33 years old he was dying of lung

cancer, died a horrible death. When I first saw him I wondered what

type of care I'd provide him..... I'm happy to report that I gave

him terrific nursing care, kept him as pain free as was possible.

His family told me that I made his, and their, lives tolerable in

his darkest and last day's.

I'm sorry this is so long, things just came to the surface that I

haven't thought of in years, things that I've never spoke to anyone.

I hope and pray that not one child has to deal with what I did. I

pray that someone will intervene, someone will help.

Randy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/30/02 5:27:49 PM Central Standard Time,

kdirving@... writes:

<< I'm not sure if I could be as generous as you about my

tormentors. I would like to say I've forgiven them, but there is a

cold, hard place in my heart for them, a place that is still too hurt

and angry and humiliated to allow forgiveness. I still feel as though

if any of those kids were to stand in front of me today, my first

impulse would be to sucker-punch them. >>

----------------------------------

I know that feeling, . Probably everyone on this board does. I wish I

could do the Christian thing and forgive. I can't. Just can't. At least, not

yet.

Carol A

[Guest guest]

Dear Randy -- as I read your story my blood ran cold. How utterly

devastating for you -- and how familiar to me, and probably many of us

here. I was never actually urinated on, but each day when I was on my

way to and from school in Grades 7 and 8, I had to pass through a

gauntlet of boys from my junior high, who'd throw things at me (eggs,

tomatoes, rocks), or chant, " Monster! Monster! " Every day, before

school, at lunch break, after lunch break, and after school. Like

clockwork. I spent much of that year just clenching my teeth and trying

not to cry. By about January, I just stopped going back to school after

lunch. I'd make myself cup after cup of coffee (with loads of sugar and

cream), and just sit and watch the afternoon movies. I'd scrounge for

food, or use my babysitting money or my allowance to buy chocolate bars

and eclairs...anything to make me feel better.

When I got to school, another clique of girls in my class made my life

a living hell -- poking me through the back of my seat when we were in

class, whispering just loudly enough for me to hear that I was a pig, a

slut, whatever. Several times, they would grab my books from me after

school and toss them down the icy embankment behind the school, leaving

me to scramble down there trying to collect all my papers and books.

Sometimes they'd push me down the embankment after my books. Depended

on what kind of mood they were in.

When I read the story of Reena Virk, the young girl in BC who was

murdered by a group of kids from her high school, beaten to a pulp and

then thrown into the water and drowned, my first thought was, " That

could so easily have been me. " She was chubby, she was an " outsider " ,

she was a bit socially awkward -- and so obviously, she deserved to die.

Randy, I'm not sure if I could be as generous as you about my

tormentors. I would like to say I've forgiven them, but there is a

cold, hard place in my heart for them, a place that is still too hurt

and angry and humiliated to allow forgiveness. I still feel as though

if any of those kids were to stand in front of me today, my first

impulse would be to sucker-punch them.

> I hope and pray that not one child has to deal with what I did. I

pray that someone will intervene, someone will help.

I hope so too. You know, I'd be less inclined to try to intervene in

this girl's eating or exercise habits than I would to just sit down

with her and ask her how she's feeling, what it's like for her at

school. I know that for me, my Gr. 7/8 experience was the beginning of

my real struggle with obesity -- I ate to damp down the feelings of

rage and humiliation, and the sense that even if anyone knew about the

taunting and teasing, they'd say I deserved it. (Incidentally, I did

tell my parents about it years later. My father's response: " Well, you

were pretty snobbish back then. " Gee, thanks, Dad!) My sense of this

girl's problem is that if she could work her feelings out in a more

constructive way, she might have a fighting chance of learning not to

use food as her silent friend.

And the kids who are doing the tormenting -- well, Ceep said it very,

very well. We must learn not to shrug this stuff off. It hurts kids,

and it damages lives. End of story.

I.

--

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

RNY September 19, 2001

Dr. Freeman, Ottawa General Hospital

BMI then: 43.5

BMI now: 22

-152 lbs

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Carol. After I'd written and sent that, I thought, " Oh lord,

they're going to think I'm an immature goof who can't let go of old

(really old!) grudges.... "

Then another thought crossed my mind. These days, what with all my

fitness and cardio kickboxing and weightlifting and stuff, if I *did*

sucker-punch one of those kids, they'd definitely know about it! LOL

(That was the evil speaking. I think she's a relative of the Evil

Ceep. Or at least, I hope she is!)

> In a message dated 12/30/02 5:27:49 PM Central Standard Time,

> kdirving@... writes:

>

> << I'm not sure if I could be as generous as you about my

> tormentors. I would like to say I've forgiven them, but there is a

> cold, hard place in my heart for them, a place that is still too hurt

>

> and angry and humiliated to allow forgiveness. I still feel as though

>

> if any of those kids were to stand in front of me today, my first

> impulse would be to sucker-punch them. >>

> ----------------------------------

>

> I know that feeling, . Probably everyone on this board does. I

> wish I

> could do the Christian thing and forgive. I can't. Just can't. At

> least, not

> yet.

>

> Carol A

>

--

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

PLUTO RISING

JUPITER'S DAUGHTER

MARS ECLIPSED

http://www.infolink.ca/pluto-rising

[Guest guest]

I thought, " Oh lord,

they're going to think I'm an immature goof who can't let go of old

(really old!) grudges.... "

_______________________________________________________

OMG NO!!!! Believe me when I realized that my dying patient was this

horrible person from my past I thought " You son-of-a-bitch, you're gettin'

just what you deserve. " Of course, he wasn't.... No one deserves to die like

that. The fact is, what you put out, you get back. Whatever is out there,

(for me it's God) they have a way causing everything to come back to ya. I

learned a lot about this man, about how he grew up, about his family. I'd

like to say that he had a hard time growing up, not enough money, drinking

parents, he was ridiculed by his parents, however, I can't. He had it great,

loving parents, loads of money. Was taught manners, to love his fellow

man....etc...etc... The fact is that some people are just bad, mean evil

people..... I think he died that way too..... There's that bad side of me

that thinks I'd like to see those other bastards suffer a little for what

they took from me. When asked on a job application, or even on my resume I

have to put GED. I hate that, I hate that I let someone get to me like that,

so maybe there are these regressed feelings that all this has brought out...

I think that's probably good. I've eaten less today, wanted less today, felt

better today. Hmmmm maybe a good way to end a year and begin a new one.

Randy

rlogle@...

www.geocities.com/rogle32/

AIM: rlogleeln

Open RNY: Sept. 26, 2001: 204 lbs gone.

Daddy to Doogun, Jasper, and Zoe.

Lord, Please help me to become the Person

my Dog's think I am.

**SPAM** Re: Re: My fat kid story.. Long...

> Thanks, Carol. After I'd written and sent that, I thought, " Oh lord,

> they're going to think I'm an immature goof who can't let go of old

> (really old!) grudges.... "

>

> Then another thought crossed my mind. These days, what with all my

> fitness and cardio kickboxing and weightlifting and stuff, if I *did*

> sucker-punch one of those kids, they'd definitely know about it! LOL

> (That was the evil speaking. I think she's a relative of the Evil

> Ceep. Or at least, I hope she is!)

>

>

> > In a message dated 12/30/02 5:27:49 PM Central Standard Time,

> > kdirving@... writes:

> >

> > << I'm not sure if I could be as generous as you about my

> > tormentors. I would like to say I've forgiven them, but there is a

> > cold, hard place in my heart for them, a place that is still too hurt

> >

> > and angry and humiliated to allow forgiveness. I still feel as though

> >

> > if any of those kids were to stand in front of me today, my first

> > impulse would be to sucker-punch them. >>

> > ----------------------------------

> >

> > I know that feeling, . Probably everyone on this board does. I

> > wish I

> > could do the Christian thing and forgive. I can't. Just can't. At

> > least, not

> > yet.

> >

> > Carol A

> >

> --

> <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

> PLUTO RISING

> JUPITER'S DAUGHTER

> MARS ECLIPSED

>

> http://www.infolink.ca/pluto-risinghttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

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