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I'm supposed to have upper surgery in aug. and when this process all

began aug. was fine but now my husband is leaving for iraq in the

middle of aug. If I can't have surgery before he leaves I don't know

what I am going to do. I live 10 hours away from my family and I have

a 2 year old and a 1 year old. I guess my questions would be(1)

normally how long is it until you can take care of kids by yourself?

(2) how long would I need someone to stay with me? (3) how long is it

until you can travel long distances? If anyone could help I would

appreciate the advice. sara

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One problem in giving advice like this is that everyone's recovery is different.

I have a 14 month old, and I was not able to care for him alone until after the

second week. I had a very hard time with exhaustion. Some people are up and

about and ready to go back to work in two weeks. From what I have read here, I

think that three weeks is a good average. Most people, however, are not running

after toddlers, but sitting at a desk.

I think it is much easier to sit at a desk :)

Traveling isn't a big problem unless you are driving, nauseous, or you will need

go to follow ups with your OS. You may be on pain medicine the first two weeks,

so driving may not even be an option.

I would definitely want help on the first three to four days, and maybe a week.

With children, I would say two.

Is there any way that someone from your family can come to your house? That

would be the best option I could suggest.

If you put off the surgery until your husband come homes, you may be waiting

longer than you want. If you could get help in September instead of August,

that would be better than going ahead early and trying to do it alone.

Because of all the medicine you will be on, you will even need someone to drive

you home from the hospital. Several people here in the past have mentioned

hiring someone (a home health nurse) to stay with them to help... I don't know

if that is an option for you.

Good luck.

~Cathy

what do I do?

I'm supposed to have upper surgery in aug. and when this process all

began aug. was fine but now my husband is leaving for iraq in the

middle of aug. If I can't have surgery before he leaves I don't know

what I am going to do. I live 10 hours away from my family and I have

a 2 year old and a 1 year old. I guess my questions would be(1)

normally how long is it until you can take care of kids by yourself?

(2) how long would I need someone to stay with me? (3) how long is it

until you can travel long distances? If anyone could help I would

appreciate the advice. sara

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Do you live on an Army/Air Force base? If so, there may be

resources available through the military or other support groups for

women whose spouses are deployed overseas. I'm sure you could get

help from other military wives on base. You just have to seek out

the help.

Jay

> I'm supposed to have upper surgery in aug. and when this process

all

> began aug. was fine but now my husband is leaving for iraq in the

> middle of aug. If I can't have surgery before he leaves I don't

know

> what I am going to do. I live 10 hours away from my family and I

have

> a 2 year old and a 1 year old. I guess my questions would be(1)

> normally how long is it until you can take care of kids by

yourself?

> (2) how long would I need someone to stay with me? (3) how long is

it

> until you can travel long distances? If anyone could help I would

> appreciate the advice. sara

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Sara, i am having surgery this friday and have a 9 month old and am

in the middle of a divorce. I am having help from my 75 yr old

mother, but c'mon, let's be real. Here is the saving grace: The VNA

(visiting nurse assoc) has a program called Pedi-Connection. It's

brand new. they help children in need and my case was covered. my

child is in need because mom is unable to care for her full time.

They are providing 5 hours of childcare a day for 4 weeks! My geezer

mom will go home and take a nap during those times. I am sure after

a week or so i can relieve my mom by playing on the floor with

Grace, holding her in the backwards hip hold and feed her meals in

her highchair etc. i just can't have her around my face/neck. Check

into the Pedi Connection. THey have been my lifesaver.

> I'm supposed to have upper surgery in aug. and when this process

all

> began aug. was fine but now my husband is leaving for iraq in the

> middle of aug. If I can't have surgery before he leaves I don't

know

> what I am going to do. I live 10 hours away from my family and I

have

> a 2 year old and a 1 year old. I guess my questions would be(1)

> normally how long is it until you can take care of kids by

yourself?

> (2) how long would I need someone to stay with me? (3) how long is

it

> until you can travel long distances? If anyone could help I would

> appreciate the advice. sara

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