Guest guest Posted July 23, 2001 Report Share Posted July 23, 2001 Humor for the Soul There was a gracious lady mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady. ---------- A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible... Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verses. Little Bobby was excited about the task, but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Bobby was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my shepherd...and that's...all I need to know!" ------------- A 4-year-old boy was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Next, he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited -- and waited... After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?" ---------- When a mother saw a thunderstorm forming in mid-afternoon, she worried about her seven-year-old daughter who would be walking the three blocks from school to home. Deciding to meet her, the mother saw her walking nonchalantly along, stopping to smile whenever lightning flashed. Seeing her mother, the little girl ran to her, explaining happily, "All the way home, God's been taking my picture!" ----------- Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws to try to enforce the Ten Commandments. ----------- A little boy walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, "Are you a Christian?" "Yes," she replied. "Do you read your Bible every day?" She nodded her head. "Do you pray often?" the boy asked next, and again she answered, "Yes." With that he asked his final question, "Then will you hold my quarter for me while I go swimming?" ------------ A little boy was saying his bedtime prayers with his mother: "Lord, bless Mommy and Daddy, and God, GIVE ME A NEW BICYCLE!!!" Mom: "God's not deaf, son. You don't need to yell!" Boy: "I know, Mom, but Grandma's in the next room, and she's very hard of hearing!" ------------ Somebody has well said that there are only two kinds of people in the world - there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord;" and then there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning!" Have a blessed day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2001 Report Share Posted July 23, 2001 Judee Thanks for the brain teaser and the jokes! Lots of Love Glenda ---Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).Version: 6.0.264 / Virus Database: 136 - Release Date: 7/2/2001 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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