Fwd: Fw: Funny saying about women

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In a message dated 07/17/2001 9:04:10 AM Central Daylight Time,

intooned@... writes:

<<

Subject: Fw: Funny saying about women >>

These are great! Enjoy! Judy

: Funny saying about women>>> >> > Some of these are pretty true and funny!> >> > Cora Harvey Armstrong> >> > Inside every older person is a> >> > younger person - wondering what the> >> > hell happened.> >> >> >> > ----------------------------> >> > Quotations from women about women . . . . . . .> >> >> >> > The hardest years in life are> > those between ten and seventy.> >> > -Helen (at 73)> >> > > !

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t; > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > I refuse to think of them as chin> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > hairs. I think of them as stray> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > eyebrows.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Janette Barber-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > !

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> > > > > > > Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"?> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > to put my breast in an envelope and send> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > it to someone.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Jan King-> > > > &g!

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t; > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > A few weeks after my surgery, I went> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > out to play catch with my golden> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > retriever. When I bent over to pick> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > up the ball, my prosthesis fell out.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > !

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> > > The dog snatched it, and I found> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > myself chasing him down the road> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > yelling "Hey, come back here with my> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > breast!"> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > - Ellerbee-> > > > > > > >> > > !

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> > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Things are going to get a lot worse> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > before they get worse.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Lily Tomlin-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > You know the hardest thing about> > > > > > > >!

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> > > > > > > > > > having cerebral palsy and being a woman?> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > It's plucking your eyebrows. That's> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > how I originally got pierced ears.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Geri Jewell-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > !

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A male gynecologist is like an auto> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > mechanic who never owned a car.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > - Snow-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Laugh and the world laughs with you.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > C!

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ry and you cry with your girlfriends.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Laurie Kuslansky-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > My second favorite household chore is> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > ironing. My first being hitting my head> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > on the top bunk bed until I faint.> > > > !

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> > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Erma Bombeck-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Old age ain't no place for sissies.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Bette -> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > A man's got to do what a man's got to do.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > A woman must do what he can't.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Rhonda Hansome-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > The phrase "working mother" is> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > redundant.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > !

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sp; -Jane Sellman-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Every time I close the door on reality> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > it comes in through the windows.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > - Unlimited-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > !

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> > > Whatever women must do they must do> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > twice as well as men to be thought half> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Charlotte Whitton-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > !

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Thirty-five is when you finally get> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > your head together and your body starts> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > falling apart.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Caryn Leschen-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > I try to take one day at a time,> > > >!

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> > > >> > > > > > > > > > but sometimes several days attack me> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > at once.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > - Unlimited-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > If you can't be a good example, then> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > &nbs!

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p; you'll just have to be a horrible> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > warning.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > - Aird-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > When I was young, I was put in a> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > school for retarded kids !

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for two years> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > before they realized I actually had a> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > hearing loss. And they called ME slow!> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Kathy Buckley-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > I'm not offended by all the dumb> > > > > > > >!

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gt; > > > > > > > > > blonde jokes because I know I'm not> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > dumb . . and I'm also not blonde.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Dolly Parton-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > You see a lot of smart guys with dumb> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > &nbs!

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p; women, but you hardly ever see a smart> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > woman with a dumb guy.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > a Jong-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > If high heels were so wonderful, men> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > would s!

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till be wearing them.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Sue Grafton-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > makes one you can ride on.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Roseanne Barr-> > > > > > > >&gt!

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; > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > I think---therefore I'm single.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Lizz Winstead-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > When women are depressed they> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > either eat or go shopping. Men invade> > > > > > &gt!

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; >> > > > > > > > > > another country.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Elayne Boosler-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Behind every successful man is a> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > surprised woman.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > &n!

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bsp; -on Pearson> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > In politics, if you want anything> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > said, ask a man--if you want anything> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > done, ask a woman.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Margaret Thatcher-> > > > &g!

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t; > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > I have yet to hear a man ask for> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > advice on how to combine marriage and a> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > career.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Gloria Steinem-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > !

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> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > I never married, because there was no> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > need. I have three pets at home which> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > answer the same purpose as a husband.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > I have a dog that growls every> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > !

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nbsp; morning, a parrot that swears allafternoon,> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > and a cat that comes home late every night.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Marie Corelli-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > If men can run the world, why can't> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > they stop wearing neckties?> > &g!

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t; > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > How intelligent is it to start the day> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > by tying a noose around your neck?> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > - Ellerbee-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > I am a marvelous housekeeper.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > !

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> > > Every time I leave a man I keep his> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > house.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Zsa Zsa Gabor-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Nobody can make you feel inferior> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > w!

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ithout your permission.> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > -Eleanor Roosevelt-> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Send this to five bright women you> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > know and make their day.> > > > > > > >> > > > >> > > > > _________________________________________________________________> > > > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com!

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gt; > > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> > >> > >NetZero Platinum> > >No Banner Ads and Unlimited Access> > >Sign Up Today - Only $9.95 per month!> > >http://www.netzero.net<br clear=all><hr>Get your FREE download of MSN> > >Explorer at <a> > >href="http://explorer.msn.com">http://explorer.msn.com</a><br></p>> >> > _________________________________________________________________> > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com> >> >> >>

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