RE: Need Help Responses

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much to all of you who have responded, in particular since

it seems that his condition and situation most closely resembles Jeff's.

In answer to some of the questions, we have not looked in to infection,

but will. Jeff has been on a CPAP for about 5 months and it has helped

tremendously. He is also on Paxil for the anxiety, and has been for a

while. If anyone can suggest an alternative that has worked well, we'd

appreciate it. We can't have pets, apartment won't allow it, and Jeff's

allergic to both dog and cat hair! ). We do try to get out and do things

together, even if it's just walking around the mall (which we did last

night). Jeff broke down again yesterday evening, even worse than the

morning. This is what finally came out.... His disabilities are becoming

more frustrating to him. It's hard for a 37 year old man to be unable to

tie his shoes without falling over, or it taking 5 minutes. Or drop his

keys everytime he tries to pick them up. Or have to walk around with leg,

arm and back braces to keep pain and swelling at a minimum. Or sleep every

night with a mask on. Or wonder how long he's going to be able to provide

for his family, or wonder how long he's going to have to put his family

through all this. He wants to see his 11 year old daughter get married,

and his 3 year old son play little league. He wants to get old with me and

have wheelchair races when we are 90. He doesn't want to look down from

heaven and see me married to someone else (I told him jokingly after what

he put me through, I'd be off men till I got to heaven anyway,so don't

worry about it!! I also told him that when he gets to heaven, in his

perception of time, it will be a blink on an eye before I get there-he

won't have time to see what's going on! )). But you get the gist of it.

Everything just seemed to come out and overwhelm him at once. He's also

getting tired of fighting this, but feels guilty if he doesn't. He's

working and still driving, but disability and immobility looms closer and

closer. I do thank everyone for their responses. I will keep everyone

posted as to the results of his MRI, but I'm not holding out much hope of

finding anything conclusive. The main thing is for Jeff to feel better by

knowing what it's NOT (BRAIN TUMOR, etc). Thank God we are close, and I

can keep him up with my really bad jokes, which always seem to bring him

out of it. But the disease has also affected our sex life, and that's VERY

hard on him, more than myself. I could make a bad joke about that too, but

I'll keep it between me and Jeff ).