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Faster than anything !!!!

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Two Tramps (Bums) are walking through a Town - Fred says: " Charlie - I just

gotta have a Crap "   " Not Here " !! Charlie says, Wait till we get outa town. "

They carry on for a while - " I Just Gotta Havea Crap Now " !!  - repeats

Fred - and dumps a big one Right on the Sidewalk.   Just then a Copper

walks up, as Charlie deftly whips his bowler hat over the mound.

" Aye! Aye! - Wot's goin on 'ere then " ?? - asks the Copper.     " Ah!

Officer " !  says Charlie, " Underneath that Hat is the Fastest Moving Thing

Alive! -and me and Fred here are Just off to the Zoo to get a Keeper to

Catch it - would you mind standing Guard whilst we go get Him " ??

The Copper Duly agrees.  After about Half an hour, the Inspector comes out

to find where his subordinate is, and seing him just standing there by a

Hat on the sidewalk enquires as to why he is late on hi! s Beat.

The Copper says: " Well, Sir, Under that Hat is the Fastest Moving thing

Alive - and two gentlemen have gone off to the Zoo to get a keeper to catch

it - and I am guarding it " !

They both wait around, tapping their feet and no one shows up - so the

Officer says: " Right, Constable! - You Hold the Hat and when I say lift! -

You lift it and I'll make a dive and catch it " !!     So the Copper Lifts

and The Officer makes a dive for it.  -    " Bloody Hell! " he says, That

WAS FAST!!  - It shit on My hands - and I didn't even see it " !!

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