The perks of being over 60:

[Guest guest]

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, " Did I wake you? "

4. No one expects you to run into a burning building.

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m.

9. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

10. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

11. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the

room.

14. You sing along with the elevator music.

15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

17. Your join! ts are more accurate meteorologists than the National

Weather

Service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember

them

either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

20. You can't remember who sent you this!