Re: Parted ways with another fat friend (to Robynn and Francisco))

[Guest guest]

---Robynn and Francisco: Thanks so much for giving me food for

thought. I do not relish the thought of cutting anyone, friend or

family out of my life, because I value each and every person in my

life. I see where you are coming from Robynn, and I can appreciate

your point of view. I have tried in the past to discuss the surgery

option with my sister, and she views it as taking the easy way out

(her words, not mine). I think that she sees me as a coward for not

continuing to " fight the good fight " and beat yourself up with every

diet that comes to town. She and I have always had a strange

relationship, in that she is older, but always turns to me for advice

in every thing she does. She has this thing that I do everything

first: had a baby first, got married first, got divorced first, got

remarried first, bought a house first, etc......as if I have

purposefully lived my whole life in an effort to upstage her. I will

have to just be very careful to be mindful of her feelings, and I

will not share specific weight losses with her unless asked. Thanks

again for getting back to me. You are like the answer goddess. I

love it!!! And Francisco: I will indeed keep you posted as to how

it goes, and I will continue to try to keep an amicable relationship

with her. Thanks for your input. Love, Tamara

In gastric-bypass-support-kaiser-

patients , " Francisco " wrote:

> Robynn:

>

> This is very well stated. I totally agree with you. I'd find it

> hard (although not impossible) to cut off a family member.

>

> Friends, however, are slightly easier to cut out. And I didn't do

it

> lightly. I'm a very tolerant and forgiving person, but Dr. Fisher

> warned me that there would be people like this in my life, so I've

> followed his advice in limiting (or cutting off) my contact with

> negative saboteurs.

>

> Tamara:

>

> Best of luck deciding what to do and working this through.

> Unfortunately, this is one of those byproducts of the process that

we

> all have to face.

>

> It's not easy, but as always, you are so worth the effort.

>

> Best of luck to you, and be sure to let us know how it goes.

>

> Francisco

>

>

>

> > > Hey everyone, especially you posties:

> > >

> > > Have you had anything like this happen?

> > >

> > > A now former friend (he is boardering on being morbidly obese)

and

> > I

> > > had another disagreement, and I've decided that this is just

the

> > last

> > > straw.

> > >

> > > After this little disagreement, I was sitting here mulling it

> > over.

> > > He said that the last year has been all about me, and that I

> > haven't

> > > given anything back to him. Oh boo hoo! That is such needy

> crap,

> > > and I just don't agree.

> > >

> > > And it just hit me. Bill was my last fat friend. All of my

fat

> > > friends have turned their backs on me in some sort of jealous

> fit,

> > > and I now live among the normal-weighted. What the hell was I

> > > supposed to give back? I think what he really wanted was for

me

> to

> > > FAIL, like he's failed over and over again. He originally

wanted

> > me

> > > to be his food police (I refused), and he wanted me to be his

> > workout

> > > buddy, but he didn't want to get up at 5:00 AM to work out.

And

> > > quite frankly, I didn't have the energy to " carry " someone else

> > when

> > > I really have to make an effort all on my own. I figure, if he

> > > wanted to exercise, he'd stop making excuses and just do it. I

> did!

> > >

> > > Hmmm... it's not that I don't get along with fat people (I

mean,

> > > part of me in my mind is still morbidly obese), and I

appreciate

> > all

> > > of you here regardless of your size, but what I won't do is

> fail.

> > > And I won't put up with sabotage crap from friends (or former

> > > friends) who really hate that I've gone from the fat team to

the

> > non-

> > > fat team.

> > >

> > > OK, I'm done ranting. Does this make sense to anyone?

> > >

> > > Francisco

> > > steadfastly refusing to fail

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >