dating and love

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone:

Well, as you all know, about 6 months ago, I end my 11 year

relationship with Zach. And now I'm into dating mode full swing.

This past weekend (Thurs evening - Sunday evening) I had five dates.

And there are two standouts: Don and Mark.

Mark is a PhD (Yale no less) health economist. He and I went dancing

(good dancer), and had a great time together. He's got this

intellectual, geeky cuteness that is so adorable. And his butt is

spectacular (dare I say it's in the same category as Robynn's honey,

?). Well, yikes... OK, I'll stop there on that subject.

Don is the import/export attorney for a major industry-focused

assurance, tax and advisory service provider. But the thing is, he's

not at all full of himself. In fact, he's sweet and gentle and

tender. I think I'm falling in love with him. God, that's the first

time I've expressed that " out loud. " He treats me like I've always

wanted a man to treat me. Last Thursday he had me over to his place

for dinner. The table was set for two, with a red candle and a

bottle of red wine (he had water for me). He served me dinner, then

sat and touched my cheek, looked into my eyes and said, " I'm so glad

you're here with me. " Then he raised his class to mine for a cheer.

Afterward, we sat in the living room and talked about how he's

started the adoption process (he started it before we met). He said

he thought I'd make a great father because of my smile and my eyes,

which show that I've got an open and loving spirit. Whenever we are

together, Don is always touching me in very subtle and sweet ways.

He holds my hand under the table at restaurants. He rubs my back

when we're standing next to each other. And when we're sitting on

the couch, he rubs my feet.

On Saturday, Don went to Israel with a group from his Synagogue. I

find myself thinking about him all the time, praying for his safety

while he's there. And I pray for his safe return.

I'm not sure if I'm falling in love, but I think I am. How will I

know? I really don't want to rush into anything. And I won't. But

Don has opened up possibilities that I didn't think would ever exist

for me.

Two years ago, these opportunities did not exist.

In passing, he mentioned that when he finds the right guy, there will

eventually be a wedding. That dream for me had long ago died because

Zach didn't want a committment ceremony, yet here it is potentially

in front of me again. Zach also didn't want children even though I

did, but the financial situation had to be right. With Don, the

finances would not even be an issue. The child would not only have

unending love, but would have access to the best of everything--

nannies, schools, private lessons, etc.

But all of that extra stuff doesn't really matter. The thing that is

so attractive about Don is the man himself. When we talk he listens

to me intently. We laugh about silly stuff, and we've shared a lot

of stories about our families and our lives. Sometimes I have to

stop myself from asking the question, " What does this handsome,

successful man see in me? What could I possibly offer him? " Then I

have to remember that he has told me that I'm different from most

other men he's met. I think he sees in me the person I always knew I

was even before I lost the weight, the person worthy of love who I

hid behind so many layers of fat.

He really melted my heart when he said, " I know it's a lot for a

potential partner to accept the fact that I'm going to have a child.

But I know that I have enough love for both a partner and a child. I

know that the more love you give away, the more you have. You know? "

I woke up this morning with tears in my eyes, thinking that he's so

far away. *Sigh*

Anyway, I'll stop rambling.

Francisco