Please allow me this post

[Guest guest]

Regarding the recent unpleasantness...Please allow me this post.

My sense is that, like most of us who've removed our fat suits,

Francisco is going through a period where he feels like his skin is

peeled off. Nevertheless he is a man of fairness and generosity. I

think he can tell when someone has good intentions, even if what they

say comes out poorly. I tend to trust his judgement about people and I

consider him a close friend.

This is the second beloved friend of mine who has been driven off this

list because she/he didn't feel safe here. In both cases, someone from

this list sent hurtful emails to her/his private email address,

criticizing that person's personal life.

Given what I said above about Francisco's judgement, I am reluctant to

let Rory off the hook. Yes, I read Rory's apology and denial. But now

some people are scrambling to apologize for the heated things they

said about the attacker. We fat girls are so ready to apologize for

any time we stand up... and I don't think you should in this case.

The strong words that people used here were addressed to an ANONYMOUS

bully and were a reflection of how much they love Francisco. I expect

Rory to understand that, to know that people do appreciate his

positive contributions, and not exploit the situation to portray

himself as the victim here.

Sincerely,

Martha