Before You All Leave the Group - Think About This

[Guest guest]

For the people who have verbally announced they are

leaving the group (, Francisco and I am not sure

who else has decided to leave) I want to know a couple

of things:

1. Who will run the group (Robynn is fabulous here

but she can not run it by herself)?

2. What is/was your purpose for being here?

3. Sometimes being a leader or leading by example is

risky and can cost and is hard. Are you willing to

just throw it all away..all the hard work you have put

into this group?

4. Can you look deep inside and ask for strength so

that you can forgive Rory or anyone for that matter

that has fallen short?

5. What is more important here..being right that

someone has wrong someone so we will make him/her feel

just as losey as they have made someone else feel

because if so, that is doing the same thing but

deliberately. I mean maybe his was deliberate but I

don't know because I don't know him but two wrongs

don't make a right.

Its all about choices here and everyone has freedom to

come and go...I guess that is the beauty of it all.

Just remember that when you leave and/or close the

door, you have closed it on innocent people here that

I personally believe are being punished without cause.

I am sorry if I am being selfish about the situation

and believe me, I do understand were everyone is

coming from. I am not condoning what has happend

neither do I feel happy about it but I am freeing

myself from the situation by moving on and not being

judge or jury. Its a very unfortunate situation and a

even more unfortunately situation if this group

crumbles.

I wish you all would reconsider but if you don't then

I do understand.

Pam Marsh

--- Diane Duenas brendadiane64@...>

wrote:

> I have to chime in here Martha and agree with you

> 100%. Francisco

> has the most loving caring heart and I cannot fathom

> that some one

> would hurt him so deeply. You are right in that most

> of the angry

> posts were said before we knew who it was. Knowing

> who it is

> however, does not change how I feel about what

> happened. Rory had no

> right to email Francisco and express his opinion of

> his posts.

> Nothing good could have been intended by it...he had

> to know he

> would be hurting him. Now he is trying to play the

> misunderstood

> victim and Ive had enough of him doing this to

> people and then

> playing victim. As long as he is part of this

> group...I am not. I

> will be available by private email to my friends on

> this group. Im

> sorry but I have personal history with Rory and will

> not be hurt by

> him anymore...even its through my friends.

>

>

>

>

>

> > Regarding the recent unpleasantness...Please allow

> me this post.

> >

> > My sense is that, like most of us who've removed

> our fat suits,

> > Francisco is going through a period where he feels

> like his skin is

> > peeled off. Nevertheless he is a man of fairness

> and generosity. I

> > think he can tell when someone has good

> intentions, even if what

> they

> > say comes out poorly. I tend to trust his

> judgement about people

> and I

> > consider him a close friend.

> >

> > This is the second beloved friend of mine who has

> been driven off

> this

> > list because she/he didn't feel safe here. In both

> cases, someone

> from

> > this list sent hurtful emails to her/his private

> email address,

> > criticizing that person's personal life.

> >

> > Given what I said above about Francisco's

> judgement, I am

> reluctant to

> > let Rory off the hook. Yes, I read Rory's apology

> and denial. But

> now

> > some people are scrambling to apologize for the

> heated things they

> > said about the attacker. We fat girls are so ready

> to apologize for

> > any time we stand up... and I don't think you

> should in this case.

> >

> > The strong words that people used here were

> addressed to an

> ANONYMOUS

> > bully and were a reflection of how much they love

> Francisco. I

> expect

> > Rory to understand that, to know that people do

> appreciate his

> > positive contributions, and not exploit the

> situation to portray

> > himself as the victim here.

> >

> > Sincerely,

> > Martha

>

>

>

____________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

I have been in tears about this all night Pam. My wonderful caring

husband had to rock me for hours. I do not make the decision to

leave this group lightly. I had to explain to my husband exactly why

this is all hurting so badly. Something not easily done. I do not

WANT to leave this group. Pam, Robynn,

Colleen,Ramona,Shell,Eleanor,Martha,Tim oh god all of you mean so

very much to me!! I think of all of you as my family. But that

comfort has been breached. Im scared of posting..that I may be the

next target. If I post how Im feeling, what Im going thru, what Im

struggling with then some one is going to take it on themselves to

tell me Im inappropriate or wrong. Thats not what this group is for.

I will allow myself time to think about this and what you've

written. I feel like if I leave Rory is getting exactly what he has

been wanting for a long time. From his posts laced with undertones

about things that only I would pick up on from his recent attack on

my friend I have been subject to his abuse and I cant do it anymore.

Oh he is smooth...its easy to be taken in. I was and wont anymore.

For now I wont leave. But I hope I can some day feel comfortable

here again.

> > > Regarding the recent unpleasantness...Please allow

> > me this post.

> > >

> > > My sense is that, like most of us who've removed

> > our fat suits,

> > > Francisco is going through a period where he feels

> > like his skin is

> > > peeled off. Nevertheless he is a man of fairness

> > and generosity. I

> > > think he can tell when someone has good

> > intentions, even if what

> > they

> > > say comes out poorly. I tend to trust his

> > judgement about people

> > and I

> > > consider him a close friend.

> > >

> > > This is the second beloved friend of mine who has

> > been driven off

> > this

> > > list because she/he didn't feel safe here. In both

> > cases, someone

> > from

> > > this list sent hurtful emails to her/his private

> > email address,

> > > criticizing that person's personal life.

> > >

> > > Given what I said above about Francisco's

> > judgement, I am

> > reluctant to

> > > let Rory off the hook. Yes, I read Rory's apology

> > and denial. But

> > now

> > > some people are scrambling to apologize for the

> > heated things they

> > > said about the attacker. We fat girls are so ready

> > to apologize for

> > > any time we stand up... and I don't think you

> > should in this case.

> > >

> > > The strong words that people used here were

> > addressed to an

> > ANONYMOUS

> > > bully and were a reflection of how much they love

> > Francisco. I

> > expect

> > > Rory to understand that, to know that people do

> > appreciate his

> > > positive contributions, and not exploit the

> > situation to portray

> > > himself as the victim here.

> > >

> > > Sincerely,

> > > Martha

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

> ____________________________________________________

> Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page

> http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs

[Guest guest]

OK ,now I'm crying... , you have come so far,

and are such an inspiration to me!!! I look forward to

your posts. I am so glad that, at least for now, you

are not leaving!!

Pam b

--- Diane Duenas brendadiane64@...>

wrote:

> I have been in tears about this all night Pam. My

> wonderful caring

> husband had to rock me for hours. I do not make the

> decision to

> leave this group lightly. I had to explain to my

> husband exactly why

> this is all hurting so badly. Something not easily

> done. I do not

> WANT to leave this group. Pam, Robynn,

> Colleen,Ramona,Shell,Eleanor,Martha,Tim oh god all

> of you mean so

> very much to me!! I think of all of you as my

> family. But that

> comfort has been breached. Im scared of

> posting..that I may be the

> next target. If I post how Im feeling, what Im going

> thru, what Im

> struggling with then some one is going to take it on

> themselves to

> tell me Im inappropriate or wrong. Thats not what

> this group is for.

> I will allow myself time to think about this and

> what you've

> written. I feel like if I leave Rory is getting

> exactly what he has

> been wanting for a long time. From his posts laced

> with undertones

> about things that only I would pick up on from his

> recent attack on

> my friend I have been subject to his abuse and I

> cant do it anymore.

> Oh he is smooth...its easy to be taken in. I was and

> wont anymore.

>

> For now I wont leave. But I hope I can some day feel

> comfortable

> here again.

>

>

>

>

>

> > > > Regarding the recent unpleasantness...Please

> allow

> > > me this post.

> > > >

> > > > My sense is that, like most of us who've

> removed

> > > our fat suits,

> > > > Francisco is going through a period where he

> feels

> > > like his skin is

> > > > peeled off. Nevertheless he is a man of

> fairness

> > > and generosity. I

> > > > think he can tell when someone has good

> > > intentions, even if what

> > > they

> > > > say comes out poorly. I tend to trust his

> > > judgement about people

> > > and I

> > > > consider him a close friend.

> > > >

> > > > This is the second beloved friend of mine who

> has

> > > been driven off

> > > this

> > > > list because she/he didn't feel safe here. In

> both

> > > cases, someone

> > > from

> > > > this list sent hurtful emails to her/his

> private

> > > email address,

> > > > criticizing that person's personal life.

> > > >

> > > > Given what I said above about Francisco's

> > > judgement, I am

> > > reluctant to

> > > > let Rory off the hook. Yes, I read Rory's

> apology

> > > and denial. But

> > > now

> > > > some people are scrambling to apologize for

> the

> > > heated things they

> > > > said about the attacker. We fat girls are so

> ready

> > > to apologize for

> > > > any time we stand up... and I don't think you

> > > should in this case.

> > > >

> > > > The strong words that people used here were

>

=== message truncated ===

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