My Apologies

[Guest guest]

-

You and your friend (and his children) are in my prayers.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Liane

[Guest guest]

,

That's an awful thing to go through!! My prayers and thoughts are

with you and his children. I hope counseling will help manage the

grief as we all know grief can not be 'cured'.

*hugs*

Anita

Pre-pre-op-in Denver

> On Monday, my best friend committed suicide. He was 29 years old

with two

> young children. He killed himself with a mixture of drugs and

liquor. The

> prescription drugs he used he stole from my purse. I was the last

person

> he called and I was the one that found his body.

>

> I have been beside myself with grief and when I came on this list

to see

> the most incredible " he said, she said " bickering and gossip, I

lost it.

>

> Certain members on this list (mostly lawyers- you gotta love my

soon-to-be

> profession) commented to me (in private- thank you) that my legal

writing

> skills leave much to be desired. Besides being truthful (legal

writing is

> sooo boring), I am afraid my writing was emotional rather than

practical.

>

> I wanted to come to this list this morning and express my pain and

my

> depression over my friend. But as a list owner, I was bound by the

duty to

> " regulate " rather than seek the support I needed.

>

> I hope this list can get back to what is was intended for but until

then,

> I apologize if I offended anyone with my approach to handling this

list.

>

> I'm going tommorow for counseling and hopefully that will help.

>

> Please respond to this email in private since it is mostly off

topic.

>

> With much love,

> R

>

> " Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. "

> -Plato

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I'm new to this group. When I read your email, I cried. A similar

incident happened to me about 7 yrs ago. The guilt and grief I felt

were overwhelming. I totally sympathize with you. I know that nothing

can be said to relieve you of the huge emotional wave you must be on

right now. Please know that I am sending you positive thoughts. I

know that you know you are not to blame in any way at all. It may be

very hard to convince your heart of that right now. We all make our

own choices. It took me a while to come to terms with it all. In

time, you will too. Please take good care of yourself.

Also I'd also like to say that I find your quote (in your signature

line) very inspirational. Thank you!

Sincerely with warm regards,

> On Monday, my best friend committed suicide. He was 29 years old

with two

> young children. He killed himself with a mixture of drugs and

liquor. The

> prescription drugs he used he stole from my purse. I was the last

person

> he called and I was the one that found his body.

>

> I have been beside myself with grief and when I came on this list

to see

> the most incredible " he said, she said " bickering and gossip, I

lost it.

>

> Certain members on this list (mostly lawyers- you gotta love my

soon-to-be

> profession) commented to me (in private- thank you) that my legal

writing

> skills leave much to be desired. Besides being truthful (legal

writing is

> sooo boring), I am afraid my writing was emotional rather than

practical.

>

> I wanted to come to this list this morning and express my pain and

my

> depression over my friend. But as a list owner, I was bound by the

duty to

> " regulate " rather than seek the support I needed.

>

> I hope this list can get back to what is was intended for but until

then,

> I apologize if I offended anyone with my approach to handling this

list.

>

> I'm going tommorow for counseling and hopefully that will help.

>

> Please respond to this email in private since it is mostly off

topic.

>

> With much love,

> R

>

> " Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. "

> -Plato

[Guest guest]

I quit drinking alcohol about 20 years ago.

The support group that helped me quit insisted that ANYTHING that

upset your personal well being was on topic.

The loss of your friend would not have been considered an off topic

subject. It is real and it hurts very much.

I'm so very sorry for your loss and am praying that your higher power

will give you the strength you need to deal with it.

I wish I could do more for you.

Blain

[Guest guest]

Dear :

Honey you did a great job and having to deal with the death of your friend and the guilt feelings because it was your drugs I understand totally a friend of mine invited us up to his cabin in the mountains with he and his girlfriend, it was beautiful and snow covered, he took a syringe from my roommate and OD on cocaine we spent 45 minutes giving him mouth to mouth and chest compression's and I knew from the start he was gone he had blown his heat and brain out.

I sent an e-mail to the list and hopefully I did not step on your toes as I did not mean to but as you have so aptly said enough is enough and the new kids are getting scared off so I climbed on my soap box and yelled sort of!

Anyway my love and hugs to you and you take care of you everything you have done regarding this Deb mess has been correct.

Huggles,

Tiger

[Guest guest]

On Monday, my best friend committed suicide. He was 29 years old with two

> young children. He killed himself with a mixture of drugs and liquor. The

> prescription drugs he used he stole from my purse. I was the last person

> he called and I was the one that found his body.

>

Michele...I'm so sorry. I almost lost my best friend the same way. He tried to commit suicide but I happened to come home early and found him before he was gone. I can only imagine what I would have gone thru if he'd succeeded.

Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how tramatic and intense the pain is. If you ever need anything, please feel free to write...I wish you the best....

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richland WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

My prayers are with you.

Lisbeth

--- R micheller@...> wrote:

> On Monday, my best friend committed suicide. He was

> 29 years old with two

> young children. He killed himself with a mixture of

> drugs and liquor. The

> prescription drugs he used he stole from my purse. I

> was the last person

> he called and I was the one that found his body.

>

> I have been beside myself with grief and when I came

> on this list to see

> the most incredible " he said, she said " bickering

> and gossip, I lost it.

>

> Certain members on this list (mostly lawyers- you

> gotta love my soon-to-be

> profession) commented to me (in private- thank you)

> that my legal writing

> skills leave much to be desired. Besides being

> truthful (legal writing is

> sooo boring), I am afraid my writing was emotional

> rather than practical.

>

> I wanted to come to this list this morning and

> express my pain and my

> depression over my friend. But as a list owner, I

> was bound by the duty to

> " regulate " rather than seek the support I needed.

>

> I hope this list can get back to what is was

> intended for but until then,

> I apologize if I offended anyone with my approach to

> handling this list.

>

> I'm going tommorow for counseling and hopefully that

> will help.

>

> Please respond to this email in private since it is

> mostly off topic.

>

> With much love,

> R

>

> " Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder

> battle. "

> -Plato

>

>

>

>

>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

For those of you who might no know this I am the owner, moderator of

this group.

I usually read every post and am up on all things, as I feel it is

my job to make sure things are going smooth, so with that said I

give this group my apologies for dropping the ball on this thread. I

have been very busy.

I want to thank my moderators for jumping in while I have been MIA.

I have said many many times that no one has the right to hurt

another member in this group. I have also said a million times that

unless you get an email from me about a post you wrote assume what

your posting is fine. What has been going on in here and what happen

to Francisco is NOT OK!

We have gone over and over this about what is ok to post and what is

not. The home page says its best.

This group is about THE WHOLE JORNEY! I want to thank some of the

old timers who posted some really good stuff. I never want anyone

to leave this group. I never want anyone to feel censored to not

speak there mind, as long as it is not hurtful to another.

I am at a lost as how to get you all to understand that if you have

a problem with a member to please please email me first. This NEEDS

to be a SAFE place for EVERONE! I can only do so much to make that

happen.

Francisco has been a huge part of this group almost from the

beginning and the thought that he was hurt by Rory saddens me very

much. I believe Francisco has already left the group. I will do my

best to get him back but in the end it's his decision. His leaving

has made me very sad.

I have had Rory email me about not liking what someone wrote or

thinks talking about relationships was wrong. What I don't get is

it is very clear this group is about so much more then just the

surgery. It's about our lives as WLS patients. If you know that

about the group and you know the owner of the group supports that

why stay here if its not want you want to hear about? I do not think

its wrong! I want to hear about it all! The ups the downs, the joys

the sorrows.

I have no problem banning someone from this group if I need to or

if it's what the group wants. I do however need to be clear on why I

am banning someone. I once banned Martha!! Without all the facts and

boy was I wrong!! We were lucky she came back!! LOL

Rory has been put on moderation, which means his posts will be

read by me before the group see's them. I am not singling out Rory

without cause , it is clear to me that it was his email that started

all this, and it is also clear that this group has had issues with

Rory before with other members. I will not let one person ruin this

group. It means too much to too many people. Again I want to thank

everyone for showing love for Francisco; I can only hope he will

return once he is feeling better. I am sorry if I am showing little

compassion towards Rory but at this point I too believe he has gone

too far.

If anyone would like to reply to my post, please email me directly.

I am ALWAYS open to hearing what my members have to say.

Thank you

Shell (Founder /owner)