RE: Staring... (Long, I'm sorry)

April 29, 2004

There is sooo much to touch on this topic...

I've dealt with adults speaking harshly to on one incident. We were getting gas at a local gas station. I was alone so I brought in to pay. I had to carry her because it just didn't make sense to unload her wheelchair for only a 2 minute ordeal... so I just carried her in. She was about 5 at the time. She looked completely normal to the lady at the counter. She told , "You should be ashamed of yourself, Making your mommy carry you. You're a Big girl so you need to get down and walk for yourself." 's eyes got as BIG as golf balls. She didn't know what to say. I kindly told the lady as I was paying for my gas, that She couldn't walk and was in a wheelchair. I don't know who was more ashamed... it wasn't . People just don't understand that children can be disabled. They always ask . What happened? because in their mind, little kids don't get born that way. Something tragic has to occur for a child to be in a wheelchair.

Another incident that comes to mind, was about 3. She had just got her braces and walker. Ohhhh She was sooo proud of herself. So I took her to the park across the street because she had gotten so good in the house. It was a back road. She was walking along the sidewalk with her older sister when a elderly couple drove by. I kid you not... the man nearly wrecked his car trying to "rubber neck" to see walking on the sidewalk.

Ok, I am almost done, Last week, 's class took park in a talent show at school. The kids all twisted to "Twist" song and while was in her wheelchair she wasn't able to "twist" so they gave her a saxaphone. I thought it was the coolest thing that this teacher thought enough to give a Part in their production. I was appalled by a comment from another parent. "Ohhh look, that teacher is nice. She found something for the crippled girl to do" Her comments were probably well intended... However the mother of the little "crippled" girl was sitting right there. I turned around and gave her the dirtiest look I could give. Her friend elbowed her and said, Whoops, that's her mom" Suddenly, they hushed and started talking about something else. (Usually I don't get angry... but this time I did)

Anyway, the point being, We've all got our stories to tell. How people mistreat our kids because they don't understand. because it's something scary and unknown. People all fear the unknown. I have a child who once "picked on" a child when she was in 1st grade because she was in a wheelchair... She's 18 now but still lives with the scars of that child dying and never getting a chance to say, "I'm Sorry" it's discrimination in it's worse form and that is why education is sooo important. we MUST educate the public. We must try to keep oour cool and share our story when we can.

I'm here if you ever need to talk... as I know the rest of us are too.

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

It's nice to know we understand each other...

Dorothy

April 29, 2004

I have a friend who hands out pictures of her daughter to people that

stare. On the back side of the picture she has a brief description

of her childs disability and then has a web page address that they

can go to for more information.

Geri-Anne and Wyatt, Complex I-

-- In Mito , " Dorothy Lincoln "

wrote:

> There is sooo much to touch on this topic...

>

> I've dealt with adults speaking harshly to on one

incident. We were getting gas at a local gas station. I was alone so

I brought in to pay. I had to carry her because it just didn't

make sense to unload her wheelchair for only a 2 minute ordeal... so

I just carried her in. She was about 5 at the time. She looked

completely normal to the lady at the counter. She told , " You

should be ashamed of yourself, Making your mommy carry you. You're a

Big girl so you need to get down and walk for yourself. " 's eyes

got as BIG as golf balls. She didn't know what to say. I kindly told

the lady as I was paying for my gas, that She couldn't walk and was

in a wheelchair. I don't know who was more ashamed... it wasn't

. People just don't understand that children can be disabled.

They always ask . What happened? because in their mind, little

kids don't get born that way. Something tragic has to occur for a

child to be in a wheelchair.

>

> Another incident that comes to mind, was about 3. She had

just got her braces and walker. Ohhhh She was sooo proud of herself.

So I took her to the park across the street because she had gotten so

good in the house. It was a back road. She was walking along the

sidewalk with her older sister when a elderly couple drove by. I kid

you not... the man nearly wrecked his car trying to " rubber neck " to

see walking on the sidewalk.

>

> Ok, I am almost done, Last week, 's class took park in a

talent show at school. The kids all twisted to " Twist " song and while

was in her wheelchair she wasn't able to " twist " so they gave

her a saxaphone. I thought it was the coolest thing that this teacher

thought enough to give a Part in their production. I was

appalled by a comment from another parent. " Ohhh look, that teacher

is nice. She found something for the crippled girl to do " Her

comments were probably well intended... However the mother of the

little " crippled " girl was sitting right there. I turned around and

gave her the dirtiest look I could give. Her friend elbowed her and

said, Whoops, that's her mom " Suddenly, they hushed and started

talking about something else. (Usually I don't get angry... but this

time I did)

> Anyway, the point being, We've all got our stories to tell. How

people mistreat our kids because they don't understand. because it's

something scary and unknown. People all fear the unknown. I have a

child who once " picked on " a child when she was in 1st grade because

she was in a wheelchair... She's 18 now but still lives with the

scars of that child dying and never getting a chance to say, " I'm

Sorry " it's discrimination in it's worse form and that is why

education is sooo important. we MUST educate the public. We must try

to keep oour cool and share our story when we can.

>

> I'm here if you ever need to talk... as I know the rest of us

are too.

> {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

> It's nice to know we understand each other...

> Dorothy

April 29, 2004

One more thing, I have found a blanket statement seems to help. For

instance when people say Wyatt should be walking when I am caring him

I just respond with not all children can walk. I've had people tell

Wyatt he should use words and I just respond with not all people can

verbalize. A blanket statement seems to help me and then I just keep

walking if I don't have time to talk.