Guest guest Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 Take about maybe a hundred or so deep breaths and let it go. Well just kidding about the hundred but let it go. You will always find someone that is more than willing to give unwanted advice. I am sure she felt that what she was saying was with good intentions. Just keep in mind that you know the reasons that you are doing this is for you and your health. It is the risk that you take when you let it be known that you are doing the surgery. There are those that will not agree with you that it is the best thing that you can do for yourself. I know that my son would always say to me, mom you are losing the weight so why do you need the surgery. You can do it with out the surgery. Yes I was losing the weight but I knew what would happen eventually and at the time my health was such a big concern that I knew it was the right answer for me. I have never regretted doing the surgery and I an a healthier person for it. SO go out and enjoy the day. It is too beautiful of a day to let that person take it away from you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 I just got back from church, It is a small church and it took me along time to start feeling comfortable there. Anyway a member decided she had to see me afterwards. She proceeded to tell me how upset she was that I was having this surgery and that there are other ways. DId I know what i was doing, did the doctors, yada yada yada. She also proceeded to tell me that it was not natural and and if it was a heart surgery osomething like that it would be ok but that god didnt make our bodies to do that with food. I bit my tongue and thanked her for her concern and left. I was hurt by her judgement and I felt like that was what it was. This is the first negative response I have recieved and it didnt feel good. I was so excited too, why do I let her words get to me. I need to calm down cause I feel like crying right now. Cecilia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 Dear sweet Cecilia, That is exactly why Randy and I chose not to tell anyone about the surgery beforehand. The handfull of people that do know seem to only come around to gawk at Randy and ask how much weight he has lost yet! Three weeks and almost 25 pounds thank you! People hate what they do not understand, and anybody who has not investigated this would not understand. It is serious, but so are our health issues that qualified us for acceptance into this unique club of "second chance for a healthy life" . My brother in law has WLS a few years ago, the requirement was attending a support group for so many months beforehand, and announce to the world your intentions and gain "support" from the outside world. What a crock of crap! The support he got from his closest (we are miles away) family was all bullshit and lip service! It caused depression, and although he worked his personal health issues very well, people who do not know what we know are not going to understand. Unless you plan to educate every single bystander that overhears your conversation....and they don't want the education, you will get this reaction..... don't worry....we love you and support you....so does your family. Since this happened at church perhaps you could have offered to her that you will keep her in your prayers that her toungue might not engage before she knows the facts next time. Offer to take her to your support classes, so she can see the success that this gift from God has brought.... God gave man the ability to design a second chance for us..... no other creature has that gift. Hugs to you and hope that your heart feels better real fast!!!!!! Randy and Sue in Palmdalececilia wrote: I just got back from church, It is a small church and it took me along time to start feeling comfortable there. Anyway a member decided she had to see me afterwards. She proceeded to tell me how upset she was that I was having this surgery and that there are other ways. DId I know what i was doing, did the doctors, yada yada yada. She also proceeded to tell me that it was not natural and and if it was a heart surgery osomething like that it would be ok but that god didnt make our bodies to do that with food. I bit my tongue and thanked her for her concern and left. I was hurt by her judgement and I felt like that was what it was. This is the first negative response I have recieved and it didnt feel good. I was so excited too, why do I let her words get to me. I need to calm down cause I feel like crying right now.Cecilia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 -i had that happen too, but what was worse was the couple of people who told me worse things, then i got the we love you the way you are speech why would you risk your self... But you know what around every corner, this WLS kept poking its head, and everything kept right on track, and I knew its what i wanted and needed to do-- Tell your church friend, that GOD appeard to you in your food, and told you that this is what he wants you to do.. no disrespect, just fight the ignorace with humor!!! -- In gastric-bypass-support-kaiser-patients , sweetgemlady656@a... wrote: > Take about maybe a hundred or so deep breaths and let it go. Well just > kidding about the hundred but let it go. You will always find someone that is more > than willing to give unwanted advice. I am sure she felt that what she was > saying was with good intentions. Just keep in mind that you know the reasons > that you are doing this is for you and your health. It is the risk that you > take when you let it be known that you are doing the surgery. There are those > that will not agree with you that it is the best thing that you can do for > yourself. I know that my son would always say to me, mom you are losing the > weight so why do you need the surgery. You can do it with out the surgery. Yes I > was losing the weight but I knew what would happen eventually and at the time > my health was such a big concern that I knew it was the right answer for me. > I have never regretted doing the surgery and I an a healthier person for it. > SO go out and enjoy the day. It is too beautiful of a day to let that person > take it away from you. > Love Ramona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 Cecilia Ignore her ignorance. I do not know why in using God's love, people feel it is their responsibility to judge or reprimand others. She is misguided and had no right to say that to her. What they dont realize is that this disease of obesity IS like heart disease. You are doing what you need to do for your health. Unfortunately, many people do not see obesity for the illness it is. Prejudices still run so deep. Keep your chin up...you are doing nothing wrong...in fact you are doing everything you can to take care of the body God gave you!! Huggles > I just got back from church, It is a small church and it took me along > time to start feeling comfortable there. Anyway a member decided she > had to see me afterwards. She proceeded to tell me how upset she was > that I was having this surgery and that there are other ways. DId I > know what i was doing, did the doctors, yada yada yada. She also > proceeded to tell me that it was not natural and and if it was a heart > surgery osomething like that it would be ok but that god didnt make > our bodies to do that with food. I bit my tongue and thanked her for > her concern and left. I was hurt by her judgement and I felt like that > was what it was. This is the first negative response I have recieved > and it didnt feel good. I was so excited too, why do I let her words > get to me. I need to calm down cause I feel like crying right now. > Cecilia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 Nobody knows how it is to be overweight until they have been. This is someting you are doing for you & your future. You are doing a wonderful thing for YOU. cecilia wrote: I just got back from church, It is a small church and it took me along time to start feeling comfortable there. Anyway a member decided she had to see me afterwards. She proceeded to tell me how upset she was that I was having this surgery and that there are other ways. DId I know what i was doing, did the doctors, yada yada yada. She also proceeded to tell me that it was not natural and and if it was a heart surgery osomething like that it would be ok but that god didnt make our bodies to do that with food. I bit my tongue and thanked her for her concern and left. I was hurt by her judgement and I felt like that was what it was. This is the first negative response I have recieved and it didnt feel good. I was so excited too, why do I let her words get to me. I need to calm down cause I feel like crying right now.Cecilia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 Cecilia...some people are well-meaning, but uninformed. She probably was concerned about you (or maybe judgmental) but don't let it disturb you. You've done your research, this will work for you, it's your body...and God gave these surgeons the gift to do this procedure. You do what's right for you. Robynncecilia wrote: I just got back from church, It is a small church and it took me along time to start feeling comfortable there. Anyway a member decided she had to see me afterwards. She proceeded to tell me how upset she was that I was having this surgery and that there are other ways. DId I know what i was doing, did the doctors, yada yada yada. She also proceeded to tell me that it was not natural and and if it was a heart surgery osomething like that it would be ok but that god didnt make our bodies to do that with food. I bit my tongue and thanked her for her concern and left. I was hurt by her judgement and I felt like that was what it was. This is the first negative response I have recieved and it didnt feel good. I was so excited too, why do I let her words get to me. I need to calm down cause I feel like crying right now.Cecilia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 Congratulations on keeping your cool with her! However, it really is none of her business!! If she brings it up with you again, (if it were I), I would again thank her for her concern, but that after having done all of the research, you feel as if this would be the best avenue for you personally to take. Moreover, your physicians highly recommend it. (You may also want to state that WLS has saved countless lives, and I am sure that this pleases God. And that it is never God's intention to have one his children suffer.) You may also want to tell her that as much as you appreciate her concern, the decision has been made, and that any negative feedback at this point would be not only not be wanted, but that it could be detrimental to your emotional well-being and lead towards feelings of insecurity towards a surgery that is going to happen. Just a thought... Keep your chin up!! Pam b PS I wonder, too, if she is saying this because she is a naysayer? A person who, for whatever reason, does not want you to succeed. In which case, her comments are not coming out of genuine concern, but out of spite or jealousy. In which case you have every right to tell her to " Shove it " ! Kidding!!! lol --- cecilia snickers_95203@...> wrote: > I just got back from church, It is a small church > and it took me along > time to start feeling comfortable there. Anyway a > member decided she > had to see me afterwards. She proceeded to tell me > how upset she was > that I was having this surgery and that there are > other ways. DId I > know what i was doing, did the doctors, yada yada > yada. She also > proceeded to tell me that it was not natural and and > if it was a heart > surgery osomething like that it would be ok but that > god didnt make > our bodies to do that with food. I bit my tongue and > thanked her for > her concern and left. I was hurt by her judgement > and I felt like that > was what it was. This is the first negative response > I have recieved > and it didnt feel good. I was so excited too, why do > I let her words > get to me. I need to calm down cause I feel like > crying right now. > Cecilia > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 Sage advice, Ramona!! Pam b --- sweetgemlady656@... wrote: > Take about maybe a hundred or so deep breaths and > let it go. Well just > kidding about the hundred but let it go. You will > always find someone that is more > than willing to give unwanted advice. I am sure she > felt that what she was > saying was with good intentions. Just keep in mind > that you know the reasons > that you are doing this is for you and your health. > It is the risk that you > take when you let it be known that you are doing > the surgery. There are those > that will not agree with you that it is the best > thing that you can do for > yourself. I know that my son would always say to > me, mom you are losing the > weight so why do you need the surgery. You can do > it with out the surgery. Yes I > was losing the weight but I knew what would happen > eventually and at the time > my health was such a big concern that I knew it was > the right answer for me. > I have never regretted doing the surgery and I an a > healthier person for it. > SO go out and enjoy the day. It is too beautiful of > a day to let that person > take it away from you. > Love Ramona > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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