List message is getting lost and forgotten

[Guest guest]

I agree, this list is no longer about support since

deb was "censored" -- It's too bad, I found out so

much info here as a pre-op. Now it's a cheering squad.

Why are people afraid of the truth? Good, bad, ugly...

I wasn't going to say anything on this thread and probably shouldn't but I feel the need to...<G>. It seems like everyone has the idea she was censored or whatever because this list doesn't want to have any bad stuff on it. I tend to disagree. I think the problem came as there started to be alot of attacks going back and forth (that's how I saw it when reading) and it got out of hand. I really feel bad for Deb. She's gotten a really raw deal and while I can't begin to say she's right or wrong about her dr and being lied to ( I wasn't there, and this is all hearsay), I know she hurts and is having to deal with alot now. The problems got to the point where people were attacking each other in a public forum and it was wrong. Deb had her reasons to be upset, but maybe took the wrong approach as people tried to make sense of what happened to her. I also don't think she shouldn't be able to post as it seems to me she wasn't the only one instigating the problems and maybe it could have been handled a little differently. We do need to hear the bad as well as the good...no matter how ugly. I didn't join this list to be cheered on but for good information, help figuring things out that confused me and to hook up with people that know my life and how hard it can be. This is a life threatening situation for many. I've learned alot here and feel I'm pretty knowledgable now even though I'm still pre op. What I've seen on this list lately is alot of people being ignored. I know I've posted and no one has answered, or one person has...yet others get 20 or more comments. It sorta feels like its become a clique, a tight inner group and the rest of us are hanging around the edges. I hope that I'm just being really sensitive...but I don't think I am. I have been trying to post more to people but since I'm pre-op have never felt it should be coming from me but someone post op. Anyhow...things have changed drastically in the 3 or 4 months I've been here...and not for the better in my opinion.

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richland WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

What seems to work best is asking one question at a time, long lists of

questions don't get much attention probably because they are so

overwhelming. Also if you don't get an answer the first time just post

it again and mention in your subject line that this is your second try.

Actually I had better luck getting the first few lists done when I first joinded the list...LOL Now no one ever answers...LOL and they are the easy one question sort or comments. I guess what bugs me is while I don't need to be cheered on...when I've been looking for advice its very difficult to not take it personally when the other person said...I got approved and 40 people said good luck, and I'm asking about something medical and get no responses.

Just my observation....

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richland WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

--- lookn2bthin@... wrote:

> What I've seen on this list lately is alot of people being ignored.

I know I've posted and no one has answered, or one person has...yet

others get 20 or more comments. It sorta feels like its become a

clique, a tight inner group and the rest of us are hanging around the

edges. I hope that I'm just being really sensitive...but I don't think

I am.

AJ....Don't take being ignored personally. During the year that I've

been on this list I've seen it happen to many people many times. It's

happened to me repeatedly. It's happened to the most giving and active

members on this list. It's also been discussed on the list many times.

It's really not so much about an inner group or clique as much as just

the volume of messages and people assuming someone else is answering

the question.

What seems to work best is asking one question at a time, long lists of

questions don't get much attention probably because they are so

overwhelming. Also if you don't get an answer the first time just post

it again and mention in your subject line that this is your second try.

Hope that helps....

H

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

--- lookn2bthin@... wrote:

> What I've seen on this list lately is alot of people being ignored.

I know I've posted and no one has answered, or one person has...yet

others get 20 or more comments. It sorta feels like its become a

clique, a tight inner group and the rest of us are hanging around the

edges. I hope that I'm just being really sensitive...but I don't think

I am.

AJ....Don't take being ignored personally. During the year that I've

been on this list I've seen it happen to many people many times. It's

happened to me repeatedly. It's happened to the most giving and active

members on this list. It's also been discussed on the list many times.

It's really not so much about an inner group or clique as much as just

the volume of messages and people assuming someone else is answering

the question.

What seems to work best is asking one question at a time, long lists of

questions don't get much attention probably because they are so

overwhelming. Also if you don't get an answer the first time just post

it again and mention in your subject line that this is your second try.

Hope that helps....

H

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

AJ,

I know one of the reasons I don't answer most medical questions is

because I don't have the answer! *grins* Or I'm not sure I have the

correct answer and I'd rather leave those ones to others that have

more medical knowledge or are actually post-op and have experiencing

whatever you're asking. I know I have posted many times and had my

questions ignored and I try not to take it personally either What

I decided was that if the question and answer was important enough to

me, I'd keep asking until I got an answer *grins*

Anita

Pre-pre-op in Denver

> >

> >

>

> Actually I had better luck getting the first few lists done when I

first

> joinded the list...LOL Now no one ever answers...LOL and they are

the easy

> one question sort or comments. I guess what bugs me is while I

don't need to

> be cheered on...when I've been looking for advice its very

difficult to not

> take it personally when the other person said...I got approved and

40 people

> said good luck, and I'm asking about something medical and get no

responses.

>

> Just my observation....

>

>

> ~~* AJ *~~

> BMI 58

> NW Washington Medical

> DR Heap, Richland WA

> Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

AJ:

I second what Anita said. I try to answer EVERY question I have any

knowledge of. But lots of things, like the current question of a central

line, I simply don't know so I watch and learn rather than answer. I had a

central line but I'm embarrassed to say that I don't really understand what

I had. But be assured, if you have a question that I can answer and if I

see it and if I have time at the time I'll give it a shot.

Regards.

Joe Frost, old gentleman, not old fart

San , TX, 60 years old

Surgery 11/29/00 by Dr. Welker

Lateral Gastrectomy with Duodenal Switch

340 starting weight, currently 240

http://www.duodenalswitch.com/Patients/Joe/joe.html

Re: List message is getting lost and forgotten

> AJ,

>

> I know one of the reasons I don't answer most medical questions is

> because I don't have the answer! *grins* Or I'm not sure I have the

> correct answer and I'd rather leave those ones to others that have

> more medical knowledge or are actually post-op and have experiencing

> whatever you're asking. I know I have posted many times and had my

> questions ignored and I try not to take it personally either What

> I decided was that if the question and answer was important enough to

> me, I'd keep asking until I got an answer *grins*

>

> Anita

> Pre-pre-op in Denver

> > >

> > >

> >

> > Actually I had better luck getting the first few lists done when I

> first

> > joinded the list...LOL Now no one ever answers...LOL and they are

> the easy

> > one question sort or comments. I guess what bugs me is while I

> don't need to

> > be cheered on...when I've been looking for advice its very

> difficult to not

> > take it personally when the other person said...I got approved and

> 40 people

> > said good luck, and I'm asking about something medical and get no

> responses.

> >

> > Just my observation....

> >

> >

> > ~~* AJ *~~

> > BMI 58

> > NW Washington Medical

> > DR Heap, Richland WA

> > Working on 1st appeal

>

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

AJ,

I found the same problem, I got two or three responses

to my initial one or two emails with a number of

questions and then I didn't get any responses for a

while, for instance, I am still waiting to hear who

any of the IL patients PCP's are. The only hurddle I

have left is choosing a doctor and finding a PCP that

is WLS friendly. My insurance said it wouldnt be an

issue. They would pay whatever the PCP said.

HOWEVER, I have noticed since I started posting a lot

that the other people that post a lot are more willing

to answer questions and give advice, I think it is

name recognition, you'll get there, in the mean time,

if you have any questions I would be happy to answer

as many as this pre op can. Email me privately will

probably work best. At jenykell@... Talk to

you soon!

Jen

--- lookn2bthin@... wrote:

> In a message dated 5/21/01 10:46:25 PM Pacific

> Daylight Time,

> hillsmith2000@... writes:

>

>

> > What seems to work best is asking one question at

> a time, long lists of

> > questions don't get much attention probably

> because they are so

> > overwhelming. Also if you don't get an answer the

> first time just post

> > it again and mention in your subject line that

> this is your second try.

> >

> >

>

> Actually I had better luck getting the first few

> lists done when I first

> joinded the list...LOL Now no one ever

> answers...LOL and they are the easy

> one question sort or comments. I guess what bugs me

> is while I don't need to

> be cheered on...when I've been looking for advice

> its very difficult to not

> take it personally when the other person said...I

> got approved and 40 people

> said good luck, and I'm asking about something

> medical and get no responses.

>

> Just my observation....

>

>

> ~~* AJ *~~

> BMI 58

> NW Washington Medical

> DR Heap, Richland WA

> Working on 1st appeal

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> .LOL Now no one ever answers...LOL and they are

the easy

> one question sort or comments. I guess what bugs me is while I

don't need to

> be cheered on...when I've been looking for advice its very difficult

to not

> take it personally when the other person said...I got approved and

40 people

> said good luck, and I'm asking about something medical and get no

responses.

>

AJ,

unless I'm on shakey ground, I try to answer the medical questions

that I know the answers to.. but if its a question more directed at

postops, I'm not there yet, hun.. but I'll help if I can, ok?

Hugs,

Liane

[Guest guest]

unless I'm on shakey ground, I try to answer the medical questions that I know the answers to.. but if its a question more directed at postops, I'm not there yet, hun.. but I'll help if I can, ok?

Hugs,

Thank Liane...You have answered me a couple times...I just was probably being ulta sensitive...LOL We all get that way I guess. And thank you. One thing I'm wondering about is I started a support group in Bellingham because we don't do surgery of this nature here. You have to go to Seattle (1 1/2 hour dr) or further. I would love anyone's ideas or suggestions because we want this to be real. We have a couple surgeons up here that are interested in the surgery and one reason they've not done it is because of lack of support. We're trying to get some professionals to help out like maybe show up occasionally and give a little talk. The group will be for any WLS but we want to provide places for them to get help, try to get a few drs around that are WLS friendly identified...I can't believe how many people in this area are wanting it or have had it done!

I set up a website...its not done...www.lookin2bthin.homestead.com for the group...if anyone has a chance can you check it out? Please remember its not done so all the things are not there yet...but I'd love to hear feedback before I do more...I am so new to all this stuff!

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richland WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

I second what Anita said. I try to answer EVERY question I have any

knowledge of. But lots of things, like the current question of a central

line, I simply don't know so I watch and learn rather than answer. I had a

central line but I'm embarrassed to say that I don't really understand what

I had. But be assured, if you have a question that I can answer and if I

see it and if I have time at the time I'll give it a shot.

Thanks Joe...

I think its partial me and partial the timing....I'm a bit overwhelmed right now. I work full time, go to college full time, just painted my house, working on my yard (the house was a mess when I moved here) so I'm sure i'm just being overly sensitive!

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richland WA

Working on 1st appeal