Going no mail

[Guest guest]

Hi there you lucky people...I am going no mail on this group until after my surgery, and then willre-evaluate my role here... Like many, I send most of my responsesprivately, for they are full of support directed towards others who postedpublicly. I have taken time to answer questions, to listen, to encourage,and to congratulate... That has been the purpose of this list for longerthan I have been a member, and that has been for more than a year... Latelythough, it seems people are putting their own needs and feelings above thoseof others that are here for support. It has become a battle ground, onefraught with accusations, emotions, and abuses. I have refused to becomeinvolved in it... for this IS JUST A BOARD folks... It is made up of no morethan simple letters and words... But it was created as a place to come andshare ideas, to support one another... to discuss where we are and where wewant to be... It is a place of hopes, fears, and dreams... This should be avery positive thing... But when it begins to affect your personal life in anegative manner, it is time to re-evaluate... Is this board serving it'sintended purpose? I believe that for many ,it still is... and I believethat it has been and still can be a valuable resource to those looking forinformation and support...I won't tell those who have emotional issues to go somewhere else or toreceive professional help... Perhaps they have tried and it didn't work forthem... I won't tell those who have wrapped themselves so tightly into theirown decisions that they can not see the rightness of the decisions of othersthat they might just be missing the point of freedom of choice, becauseobviously they can't see that... I won't tell people they are wrong tosupport one who needs the support, even if the way they go about it iscounterproductive and may hurt her more than help... That is their decisionand they are doing what they believe is right... But that does not mean thatI will allow these issues to become a daily part of my life either...I am 2 1/2 weeks from surgery... I have waited for an entire year while myfamily has scrimped and saved to make this dream a reality. I am travelinghalf way around the world to change my life forever... and I need support...I know that I can get that support other places... I also know that I canalso give support in other places... I have chosen to stay up to this pointbecause when I was newly considering DS, I was desperate for moreinformation... Then I found this list... and was welcomed with open arms...I was never put down or told that my thoughts/feelings were wrong orsilly... I was accepted for who I was unconditionally (even by those whodidn't always agree with me!)... Some wonderful postops gave me a veryspecial gift a feeling of self worth... Through their belief in me, Ilearned to believe in myself... and I made a decision that changed my lifeforever... I am not the same person I was a year ago... I am one whodeserves respect and to be treated fairly... I am strong... I am happy...and I have a future...Because of these special people, I have tried to stay and to do the same forthose who come after me... As my turn approaches, I find reading this listharder and harder to read... There is just so much dysfunction right now...I realize this is the norm in some people's lives, but it throws minetotally off balance... After reading several negative, grating posts in arow, I end up deleting the rest of the digest without reading it... I justcan't take the harshness and bickering that seems so common-place now... Ilong for the acceptance that was so prevalent in the past... That meansthat those who come needing support may not get it because of my inabilityto sort through all those in-between to get to their posts... I have foundthat it is just taking too much more energy/emotional reserves than I haveto spare to keep up with this list...Anyway, perhaps when I am postop, I can come back withoutfeeling/internalizing all the emotions running wild here... I will post myprogress, even after going no mail, because I know how important thatinformation is to preops... I will also answer any mail sent to me privatelyin reply to the posts I make or for any questions that people may have... Ijust won't be here in person right now to read them...Take care and good luck!!!~hugs to all~Rabecca, Portland ORTo Be Switched by Dr Baltasar, SpainOn June 15, 2001