Answers to 's questions

[Guest guest]

1. Relationships: How is your current relationship handling the new you?No issues there. I met Jay 6 weeks before the surgery; he accepted me as a large woman, he knew I was gonna have WLS, and he was fine with the changes. Of course, he was freaked out when I insisted on having sex 10 days postop, with 7 inches of staples along my belly...might be one of my kinkiest moments ever.2. How are you handling/dealing with the new you?This Friday is my 3rd surgery anniversary, so the " new me " isn't really new anymore. My biggest problem is unconsciously resuming preop habits: I don't drink enough water; I tend to drink in and around meals; I eat too fast; things like that. I gain and lose the same 10 pounds over and over. I try to imitate my thin friends: When they gain a few pounds, they cut back on their intake and eat more carefully for a few weeks until the pounds are gone. By golly, that works!3. Do you feel like you are going through a second adolescence or rebellion?Actually I've had several wild periods in my life. More fat or less fat, doesn't seem to matter, finding men hasn't been a problem for me; but true love eluded me until that fateful lunch with Tim in June.4. Are you getting attention from the opposite sex? If so how are you handling it?I think part of the reason we get more attention as thin people is that we are less defended, and less defensive. Now that I'm a size 6 I notice that I do get more attention. I enjoy it; male attention is lovely. But like I said, I've been there--I don't need to prove anything to myself. Besides, self-confidence comes from inside, not from outside attention. 5. Do you wonder who you are and what you want....and does it keep changing??I don't wonder who I am. I'm more wary of thinking that I DO know who I am, that I have me all figured out. Our selves are always changing; the idea that you have a solid, permanent identity is a mistake and will mislead you. It's good to be uncertain. Don't believe everything you think.6. What emotionally are you surprised that came up??I expected to be happier as a thin person, but I didn't expect the happiness to be so profound. Even my worst day brightens when I put on a size 6.