tragic incident

[Guest guest]

This is long but you will understand why after you read it.

I had gastric bypass surgery about 2 years ago and I am doing great.

The situation is this:

A friend that I had not saw for a while due to him moving out of town

saw me about a year ago and did not recognize me due to the weight

loss. He himself was almost 400 pounds as was I the last time he had

saw me. So he was very impressed with my weight loss. Well, I got

call from him several months later and he was considering surgery.

Then about a two months ago he called and said he had started the

process, then later he called again to say he was approved but had

some apprehensions about going through with it. We talked for about

an hour about my experience and his fear. Several calls later he

tells me he has a date. He was afraid and ask that I be his support

and encouragement. I agreed and we continued to talk on a regular

bases until the day of his surgery.

He had it and the day afterwards I called and he was in severe pain

and about to have an x-ray or something. Well they found out he had a

leak. That was not a rare thing and somewhat easily fix. Three days

later I call and he is out the hospital and feeling fine. He however,

told me he had a tube in his stomach for him to inject Ensure of some

other suppliment( can't remember which). I had never heard of this by

anyone who I have talked to that had gastric-bypass. Has anyone else?

Well anyway to get to the point. Saturday (10 days after the surgery

he was admitted to the hospital after he was throwing up feces. I

think he had an instestinal blockage and was to have surgery. In the

process he throw up and feces went into his lungs whereby his system

was poisoned and his organs began to shut down. He had to be place in

a medical induced comma, massive antibiotics, and placed in ICU.

Well, today he died.

I feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt and as if I am responsible.

Although I was always honest with him about the surgery based on my

experience and the experience of those I know who had the surgery, I

still feel my positive encouraged of him, because he never stop being

afraid to have the surgery, motivated him to go forward and have the

surgery and now he is dead.

[Guest guest]

Tony-

I am sorry to hear about the tragedy of your friend. There are always risk in everything that we do in life and if your friend had Kaiser I am sure they went over the risk factors and even if he had another insurance they must of mentioned the risk factors. I know when i had my surgery it was in the back of my mind. I know the greater the weight you start out with the greater the risks are.................. I dont think you should be feeling guilty, your friend sought you out and pursued talking to you about the choices he initiated that he wanted i his life. You were open an honest and wanted nothing but the best for him and had hoped he could share in a good success as you have................ I think you were a great friend that he was lucky to have that stuck by him in a time where he needed someone close and inspirational to him. As far as the tubes and ensure, I dont know anything about that.

again i am sorry for the loss of your friend.

ColleenTony wrote:

This is long but you will understand why after you read it. I had gastric bypass surgery about 2 years ago and I am doing great. The situation is this: A friend that I had not saw for a while due to him moving out of town saw me about a year ago and did not recognize me due to the weight loss. He himself was almost 400 pounds as was I the last time he had saw me. So he was very impressed with my weight loss. Well, I got call from him several months later and he was considering surgery. Then about a two months ago he called and said he had started the process, then later he called again to say he was approved but had some apprehensions about going through with it. We talked for about an hour about my experience and his fear. Several calls later he tells me he has a date. He was afraid and ask that I be his support and

encouragement. I agreed and we continued to talk on a regular bases until the day of his surgery. He had it and the day afterwards I called and he was in severe pain and about to have an x-ray or something. Well they found out he had a leak. That was not a rare thing and somewhat easily fix. Three days later I call and he is out the hospital and feeling fine. He however, told me he had a tube in his stomach for him to inject Ensure of some other suppliment( can't remember which). I had never heard of this by anyone who I have talked to that had gastric-bypass. Has anyone else?Well anyway to get to the point. Saturday (10 days after the surgery he was admitted to the hospital after he was throwing up feces. I think he had an instestinal blockage and was to have surgery. In the process he throw up and feces went into his lungs whereby his system was poisoned and his organs began to shut down. He had to be place in a

medical induced comma, massive antibiotics, and placed in ICU. Well, today he died. I feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt and as if I am responsible. Although I was always honest with him about the surgery based on my experience and the experience of those I know who had the surgery, I still feel my positive encouraged of him, because he never stop being afraid to have the surgery, motivated him to go forward and have the surgery and now he is dead.

Colleen

[Guest guest]

Tony, my condolences are in order here and I want and

need you to realize that none of us are the keeper of

life nor can we give or take away life. You should

not feel guilty and I express to you that you should

feel honored that he chose you to be there for him in

a time of need. We never know the outcome rather we

can only hope for the best. Reading the story that

you wrote leads me to believe that it was not due to

the surgery itself but due to an underlining illness

that no one was aware of. He might have had a

blockage prior to the surgery and no one picked up on

it. It happens.

You will never be able to bring him back or ever have

the answers here and I can be almost certain when I

say this that your friend is not mad or upset with you

neither does he blame you.

You must remember him and the good times as well as

the bad times if there are any. Recognize that it is

by grace that you are were you are today and pray for

peace.

I know that this is hard for you to accept and as time

goes on, your hurt will be eased and whatsoever pain

you feel associated with this loss will be minimized.

You are going to get through this but you have to

accept he is gone and that it is not your fault...it

never was and it never will be. Only God knows the

whys and what could have been.

I will keep you in my prayers and pray that you

establish if you have not already a relationship with

the creator or whomever you worship so that you can

get through this time. This is not a time for the

blame game...not at all. It had nothing to do with

you. Stay strong and we are all here for you to help

you through this difficult time.

Pam Marsh

--- Colleen Garner irishlilt@...> wrote:

> Tony-

>

> I am sorry to hear about the tragedy of your friend.

> There are always risk in everything that we do in

> life and if your friend had Kaiser I am sure they

> went over the risk factors and even if he had

> another insurance they must of mentioned the risk

> factors. I know when i had my surgery it was in the

> back of my mind. I know the greater the weight you

> start out with the greater the risks

> are.................. I dont think you should be

> feeling guilty, your friend sought you out and

> pursued talking to you about the choices he

> initiated that he wanted i his life. You were open

> an honest and wanted nothing but the best for him

> and had hoped he could share in a good success as

> you have................ I think you were a great

> friend that he was lucky to have that stuck by him

> in a time where he needed someone close and

> inspirational to him. As far as the tubes and

> ensure, I dont know anything about that.

> again i am sorry for the loss of your friend.

> Colleen

>

> Tony growing_spiritually@...> wrote:

> This is long but you will understand why after you

> read it.

>

> I had gastric bypass surgery about 2 years ago and I

> am doing great.

> The situation is this:

>

> A friend that I had not saw for a while due to him

> moving out of town

> saw me about a year ago and did not recognize me due

> to the weight

> loss. He himself was almost 400 pounds as was I the

> last time he had

> saw me. So he was very impressed with my weight

> loss. Well, I got

> call from him several months later and he was

> considering surgery.

> Then about a two months ago he called and said he

> had started the

> process, then later he called again to say he was

> approved but had

> some apprehensions about going through with it. We

> talked for about

> an hour about my experience and his fear. Several

> calls later he

> tells me he has a date. He was afraid and ask that I

> be his support

> and encouragement. I agreed and we continued to talk

> on a regular

> bases until the day of his surgery.

>

> He had it and the day afterwards I called and he was

> in severe pain

> and about to have an x-ray or something. Well they

> found out he had a

> leak. That was not a rare thing and somewhat easily

> fix. Three days

> later I call and he is out the hospital and feeling

> fine. He however,

> told me he had a tube in his stomach for him to

> inject Ensure of some

> other suppliment( can't remember which). I had never

> heard of this by

> anyone who I have talked to that had gastric-bypass.

> Has anyone else?

>

> Well anyway to get to the point. Saturday (10 days

> after the surgery

> he was admitted to the hospital after he was

> throwing up feces. I

> think he had an instestinal blockage and was to have

> surgery. In the

> process he throw up and feces went into his lungs

> whereby his system

> was poisoned and his organs began to shut down. He

> had to be place in

> a medical induced comma, massive antibiotics, and

> placed in ICU.

> Well, today he died.

>

> I feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt and as if I

> am responsible.

> Although I was always honest with him about the

> surgery based on my

> experience and the experience of those I know who

> had the surgery, I

> still feel my positive encouraged of him, because he

> never stop being

> afraid to have the surgery, motivated him to go

> forward and have the

> surgery and now he is dead.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow honey,

I'm sorry but you all know this could happened to any of us its major surgery..I'm still waiting for my surgery and have this in the back of my mind all the time some people say to make a will.Well he's in a better place and is your angel now. This is a hard lesson for anyone..

Big Hugs to you,

Caryl

This is long but you will understand why after you read it. I had gastric bypass surgery about 2 years ago and I am doing great. The situation is this: A friend that I had not saw for a while due to him moving out of town saw me about a year ago and did not recognize me due to the weight loss. He himself was almost 400 pounds as was I the last time he had saw me. So he was very impressed with my weight loss. Well, I got call from him several months later and he was considering surgery. Then about a two months ago he called and said he had started the process, then later he called again to say he was approved but had some apprehensions about going through with it. We talked for about an hour about my experience and his fear. Several calls later he tells me he has a date. He was afraid and ask that I be his support and encouragement. I agreed and we continued to talk on a regular bases until the day of his surgery. He had it and the day afterwards I called and he was in severe pain and about to have an x-ray or something. Well they found out he had a leak. That was not a rare thing and somewhat easily fix. Three days later I call and he is out the hospital and feeling fine. He however, told me he had a tube in his stomach for him to inject Ensure of some other suppliment( can't remember which). I had never heard of this by anyone who I have talked to that had gastric-bypass. Has anyone else?Well anyway to get to the point. Saturday (10 days after the surgery he was admitted to the hospital after he was throwing up feces. I think he had an instestinal blockage and was to have surgery. In the process he throw up and feces went into his lungs whereby his system was poisoned and his organs began to shut down. He had to be place in a medical induced comma, massive antibiotics, and placed in ICU. Well, today he died. I feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt and as if I am responsible. Although I was always honest with him about the surgery based on my experience and the experience of those I know who had the surgery, I still feel my positive encouraged of him, because he never stop being afraid to have the surgery, motivated him to go forward and have the surgery and now he is dead.

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. We never know what is going to happen in life. At 400 pounds he faced many risks with or without the surgery. If he had not had the surgery and died of a stroke or heart attack you might be feeling bad because you didn't try hard enough. Please don't take this guilt onto yourself. You shared your honest feeling and experiences and that is not wrong.

Pam

tragic incident

This is long but you will understand why after you read it. I had gastric bypass surgery about 2 years ago and I am doing great. The situation is this: A friend that I had not saw for a while due to him moving out of town saw me about a year ago and did not recognize me due to the weight loss. He himself was almost 400 pounds as was I the last time he had saw me. So he was very impressed with my weight loss. Well, I got call from him several months later and he was considering surgery. Then about a two months ago he called and said he had started the process, then later he called again to say he was approved but had some apprehensions about going through with it. We talked for about an hour about my experience and his fear. Several calls later he tells me he has a date. He was afraid and ask that I be his support and encouragement. I agreed and we continued to talk on a regular bases until the day of his surgery. He had it and the day afterwards I called and he was in severe pain and about to have an x-ray or something. Well they found out he had a leak. That was not a rare thing and somewhat easily fix. Three days later I call and he is out the hospital and feeling fine. He however, told me he had a tube in his stomach for him to inject Ensure of some other suppliment( can't remember which). I had never heard of this by anyone who I have talked to that had gastric-bypass. Has anyone else?Well anyway to get to the point. Saturday (10 days after the surgery he was admitted to the hospital after he was throwing up feces. I think he had an instestinal blockage and was to have surgery. In the process he throw up and feces went into his lungs whereby his system was poisoned and his organs began to shut down. He had to be place in a medical induced comma, massive antibiotics, and placed in ICU. Well, today he died. I feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt and as if I am responsible. Although I was always honest with him about the surgery based on my experience and the experience of those I know who had the surgery, I still feel my positive encouraged of him, because he never stop being afraid to have the surgery, motivated him to go forward and have the surgery and now he is dead.