Holiday Stress, and depression issues

[Guest guest]

Yesterday I talked with a dear, dear friend for several hours. She was very despondent over the loss of her employment, her identity and the roll she's always had in her family.

The concept of knowing that she can no longer do and function in the world as she has always done, has broken her spirit.

What does happen to us as we realize that the professional, the careers, the role we had within our family- the concept that we are to take care of not only ourself but our kids- even the grown ones, and the parents-- changes?

When we reach our limit, and we have grown tired of being in pain, not just the physical pain, but also the exhaustion of emotional pain-- what next? How do we handle this?

From my experience, and it's the only place I can speak of; we have to redefine who we are. If the antidepressant we're on isn't working, then we have to find another. If we need family or a friend to come around and watch a movie, or bring dinner in--and sit and play cards or Scrabble--then we need to be willing to ask for that.

Earlier this year, I was asked if I thought that someone's refusal to do their rehab was an "act" or was it that truly, they were so weak that to do the physical rehab, the occupational rehab, the psychotherapy-- was just too much.

My response was that the hardest thing any of us faces is to LEARN to ask for help. No one wants to burden family members. We all realize that they have their lives, their families, their own personal challenges. But, no it was not an "act" of defiance.

This brings me to my primary point- maybe.

One of the things that happens is that when we do attempt our physical therapy-- only to find that the next day we're so drop dead tired, physically worn out, our muscles so weak that we don't trust our legs to hold us up-- that there is a REAL PHYSICAL COMPONENT that happens.

Our bodies require all of our physical energy to keep our vital organs functioning. So when we start ANY rehab, we are asking our bodies to take that same energy- and use it as fuel for our muscles.

Now we exercise those muscles, use up that fuel, and our muscles and ligaments can't metabolize the energy, and don't have the ability to clear the toxins and waste that happen when you exercise, so they are even more worn out the day following your workout.

Included in the puzzle is that exercise also creates small tears in the muscle fibers, and this has to be healed. So now, not only have we pulled the energy that is supporting our vital organs away from our vital organs, but we're also asking our body to heal muscle and ligament tears. And our lungs (for those of us with pulm sarc) don't get the proper concentration of oxygen to the red blood cells, so healing --or in this case, recovery from exercise- takes longer.

So, does this mean we stop exercising? Absolutely not. It means that if you are attempting to do more, to expend more energy, to give more of yourself, and you find that you are totally exhausted-- that you are not nuts. There is a real issue at hand. It means that you listen to your body, and you honor the signals that your body is sending out.

It means also that when you are at the bottom, and don't know how you can ever get out-- and you are making a decision as to continue to live on-- maybe with limitations -- that it's ok to be sad. It's ok to cry, and it's IMPERATIVE TO ASK FOR HELP.

It's not okay to commit suicide. It's not ok.

My love to you,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

[Guest guest]

Tracie, Thanks for the encouraging words. I was beginning to feel a little depressed because the holiday season was coming up and I haven't had any income coming in since about oct. But I am ok. I can no longer do the things that others think that I should do. I am tired and exhausted after little things and my sister whom I live with doesn't seem to understand my condition at all. She just thinks I am lazy. I no the results of doing to much. I have gain much weight since on prednisone and she has suggested I go to the gym which I know that I need but I am tired and the next day I feel terrible. So what are we to do. They don't understand what we go though daily. They don't understand how this condition wrecks havoc on a person. I am no longer able to help with the household bills due to limited work and she asks me the other day when are you

going to get a job. As if I haven't been trying to work some and to help out whenever I can. I feel awful not being able to help like I used too but I can no longer work like I used to with this condition. I would love to but it is not an option for me. I am no longer going to worry though. I will go home if I have too. I can't be stress with that along with this condition. I want to encourage everyone to stay strong and keep fighting this condition and take care of yourself first. Sincerely, Shauna in atlanta __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

.. I want to encourage everyone to stay strong and keep fighting this condition and take care of yourself first.

Shauna,

Thank you for your feedback. This is a hard journey, and one with losses, but also one with lessons that open up our hearts in ways we never knew existed.

It takes more courage to fight for the care we need and deserve, and it takes encouragement-- which is what we are here for!

Blessings to you,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

[Guest guest]

That was very well put! Asking for help is very difficult for a lot

of us, but it is the first step in allowing someone else the joy of

being needed. And it's okay to feel sad, if you find that your

emotions are overwhelming and medication alone isn't helping, please

find a counselor or someone you can speak to talk who can help you

put your life into perspective.

Deb P

>

> Yesterday I talked with a dear, dear friend for several hours. She

was very

> despondent over the loss of her employment, her identity and the

roll she's

> always had in her family.

>

> The concept of knowing that she can no longer do and function in

the world as

> she has always done, has broken her spirit.

>

> What does happen to us as we realize that the professional, the

careers, the

> role we had within our family- the concept that we are to take care

of not

> only ourself but our kids- even the grown ones, and the parents--

changes?

>

> When we reach our limit, and we have grown tired of being in pain,

not just

> the physical pain, but also the exhaustion of emotional pain-- what

next? How

> do we handle this?

>

> From my experience, and it's the only place I can speak of; we have

to

> redefine who we are. If the antidepressant we're on isn't working,

then we have to

> find another. If we need family or a friend to come around and

watch a movie,

> or bring dinner in--and sit and play cards or Scrabble--then we

need to be

> willing to ask for that.

>

> Earlier this year, I was asked if I thought that someone's refusal

to do

> their rehab was an " act " or was it that truly, they were so weak

that to do the

> physical rehab, the occupational rehab, the psychotherapy-- was

just too much.

>

> My response was that the hardest thing any of us faces is to LEARN

to ask for

> help. No one wants to burden family members. We all realize that

they have

> their lives, their families, their own personal challenges. But,

no it was not

> an " act " of defiance.

>

> This brings me to my primary point- maybe.

>

> One of the things that happens is that when we do attempt our

physical

> therapy-- only to find that the next day we're so drop dead tired,

physically worn

> out, our muscles so weak that we don't trust our legs to hold us up-

- that

> there is a REAL PHYSICAL COMPONENT that happens.

>

> Our bodies require all of our physical energy to keep our vital

organs

> functioning. So when we start ANY rehab, we are asking our bodies

to take that same

> energy- and use it as fuel for our muscles.

>

> Now we exercise those muscles, use up that fuel, and our muscles

and

> ligaments can't metabolize the energy, and don't have the ability

to clear the toxins

> and waste that happen when you exercise, so they are even more worn

out the

> day following your workout.

>

> Included in the puzzle is that exercise also creates small tears in

the

> muscle fibers, and this has to be healed. So now, not only have we

pulled the

> energy that is supporting our vital organs away from our vital

organs, but we're

> also asking our body to heal muscle and ligament tears. And our

lungs (for

> those of us with pulm sarc) don't get the proper concentration of

oxygen to the

> red blood cells, so healing --or in this case, recovery from

exercise- takes

> longer.

>

> So, does this mean we stop exercising? Absolutely not. It means

that if you

> are attempting to do more, to expend more energy, to give more of

yourself,

> and you find that you are totally exhausted-- that you are not

nuts. There is

> a real issue at hand. It means that you listen to your body, and

you honor

> the signals that your body is sending out.

>

> It means also that when you are at the bottom, and don't know how

you can

> ever get out-- and you are making a decision as to continue to live

on-- maybe

> with limitations -- that it's ok to be sad. It's ok to cry, and

it's IMPERATIVE

> TO ASK FOR HELP.

>

> It's not okay to commit suicide. It's not ok.

>

> My love to you,

> Tracie

> NS Co-owner/moderator

>

[Guest guest]

Tracie, As you know we have talked in the past and you have supported me on this very issue. It was very, very hard for me to lose my identity - my employment which was a very important part of my life. My roll in the family was primary breadwinner and also head of the family so to speak and all of a sudden I couldn't handle it emotionally or physically. My three sons were kind of left to survive on their own. And all of this brought on such a strong feeling of GUILT. For the ones who have just become ill I strongly recommend you listen to Tracie's methods of coping. She was such a great help to me in a time of physical and emotional pain. I learned how to say "No" to others when I was used to not being able to, but it relieved such burden off my shoulders. I also started asking for help from family and friends (which was hard for me as well) and they supported

me 100 percent. As for depression, well let's say it started right in. I was started on an antidepressant which helped a lot . I also tried to keep from staying isolated by hanging out with other people. When I felt a little better on my good days , I started volunteering at my local library just to get out of the house. These are some of the methods that you, Tracie, had taught me how to cope when I first became ill. I hope others will learn from your wisdom as I. Thank you. Hugs, Debbie T. Co-Moderator tiodaat@... wrote: Yesterday I talked with a dear, dear

friend for several hours. She was very despondent over the loss of her employment, her identity and the roll she's always had in her family. The concept of knowing that she can no longer do and function in the world as she has always done, has broken her spirit. What does happen to us as we realize that the professional, the careers, the role we had within our family- the concept that we are to take care of not only ourself but our kids- even the grown ones, and the parents-- changes? When we reach our limit, and we have grown tired of being in pain, not just the physical pain, but also the exhaustion of emotional pain-- what next? How do we handle this? From my experience, and it's the only place I can speak of; we have to redefine who we are. If the antidepressant we're on isn't working, then we have to find another. If we need family or a friend to come around and watch a movie, or

bring dinner in--and sit and play cards or Scrabble--then we need to be willing to ask for that. Earlier this year, I was asked if I thought that someone's refusal to do their rehab was an "act" or was it that truly, they were so weak that to do the physical rehab, the occupational rehab, the psychotherapy-- was just too much. My response was that the hardest thing any of us faces is to LEARN to ask for help. No one wants to burden family members. We all realize that they have their lives, their families, their own personal challenges. But, no it was not an "act" of defiance. This brings me to my primary point- maybe. One of the things that happens is that when we do attempt our physical therapy-- only to find that the next day we're so drop dead tired, physically worn out, our muscles so weak that we don't trust our legs to hold us up-- that there is a REAL PHYSICAL COMPONENT that happens.

Our bodies require all of our physical energy to keep our vital organs functioning. So when we start ANY rehab, we are asking our bodies to take that same energy- and use it as fuel for our muscles. Now we exercise those muscles, use up that fuel, and our muscles and ligaments can't metabolize the energy, and don't have the ability to clear the toxins and waste that happen when you exercise, so they are even more worn out the day following your workout. Included in the puzzle is that exercise also creates small tears in the muscle fibers, and this has to be healed. So now, not only have we pulled the energy that is supporting our vital organs away from our vital organs, but we're also asking our body to heal muscle and ligament tears. And our lungs (for those of us with pulm sarc) don't get the proper concentration of oxygen to the red blood cells, so healing --or in this case, recovery from exercise- takes

longer. So, does this mean we stop exercising? Absolutely not. It means that if you are attempting to do more, to expend more energy, to give more of yourself, and you find that you are totally exhausted-- that you are not nuts. There is a real issue at hand. It means that you listen to your body, and you honor the signals that your body is sending out. It means also that when you are at the bottom, and don't know how you can ever get out-- and you are making a decision as to continue to live on-- maybe with limitations -- that it's ok to be sad. It's ok to cry, and it's IMPERATIVE TO ASK FOR HELP. It's not okay to commit suicide. It's not ok. My love to you, Tracie NS Co-owner/moderator __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I learned how to say "No" to others when I was used to not being able to, but it relieved such burden off my shoulders. I also started asking for help from family and friends (which was hard for me as well) and they supported me 100 percent.

As for depression, well let's say it started right in. I was started on an antidepressant which helped a lot . I also tried to keep from staying isolated by hanging out with other people. When I felt a little better on my good days , I started volunteering at my local library just to get out of the house.

Debbie, thank you so very much. So very, very much.

Love to you,

Tracie