Guest guest Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES > > 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of > boiling water down your throat and, presto, the blockage will be > removed. > > 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting > someone else to hold them while you chop away. > > 3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by > simply using the sink. > > 4. For high-blood-pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for > a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use > a > > timer. > > 5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from > > rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. > > 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you > will be afraid to cough. > > 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will > forget all about the toothache. > > 8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really > are: > You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and > should, use the WD-40; if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. > > 9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. > > 10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. > > Thoughts for the day: > > If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. > > Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might > > need them to empty your bedpan. > > Some people are like "slinkies" .. . . They're not really good for > anything; but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them > down a flight of stairs > > > The information contained in this communication may be confidential, is intended only for the use of the recipient(s) named above, and may be legally privileged. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution, or copying of this communication, or any of its contents, is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please return it to the sender immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.