Re: Choosing life- or pain

[Guest guest]

,

I know you too are in a shitville situation in part because of your peptic ulcer disease history.

What I see happening is that every winter for years that you've been with the group, that you consistently fall apart during the winter (more so than summer.) There is a very real syndrome --SAD Seasonal Attitudinal Depression, that happens to many of us. Take away that sunshine, and add the dark days of winter, and we become more depressed. I know you don't have the finances for the "sunlamps" that simulate natural sunshine-- and that you and your MD's are concerned about putting you on any medications.

I know that you have a hatred for your Dad and that you feel he's part of the problem. You know, , in a few years--too few, he won't be alive- and you'll give your eye teeth to have a talk with him. I know he's torn you down with his opinion of you-- but you are almost 50--and by continuing to give his opinion of you such a large part of your energy-- you continue to empower his junk-- and you surrender your own self to this junk.

Everyone of us on the group have told you time and again that we see a man that cares about his wife-- and yes, if frustrated by the lack of income, and frustrated by the fact that you feel you can no longer work. It amazes me that you are able to do the paper route-- as those sacks are extremely heavy-- and I know you end up walking a good part of the time. I admire that. Most of us can't do any of that.

as for this dasterdly leg pain-- You know Motrin, Advil, Prednisone and aspirin are out of the picture. You can take Acetamenophin--and even low doses of 200-400 mg helps. Ice packs bring down inflammation, and heat packs take the soreness out of the muscles. You don't have to invest alot of money-- a bag of icecubes or frozen peas works well as a icepack. A towel that is wet- and rung out--then put in the microwave for a few minutes works well as a heating pad. 15 min intervals with either of these may bring you some comfort.

We can look at our disabilities and want our MD's to fix us-- but we have to do the things that we can do-- take the over the counter Tylenol (acetaminaphen) and do the ice and heat packs, and if it's the constant walking with newspaper bags that is causing the constant wear and tear-- take a week off and see if resting helps.

It's up to us to eat right, do the minimal stuff we can do-- to make our life as good as we can. It's up to us to take the responsibility for the self-talk we feed our brains. If we're constantly telling ourself we're shit-- then our body will take that on as a reality. If we give up the anger of the past offenses-- and it takes work to do so-- we can heal at least on a Spirit level--a Soul level. We don't have to keep beating ourself up just because our fathers did or even continue to do.

You have choices-- and if it seems as though I'm not being openminded-- and sometimes I'm not-- it's because I have already had to do these things I'm talking about. It's called facing your devils-- and deciding whether you're going to buy into the hell, or create the life you want-- even though you live with physical limitations and daily pain.

You can do it, and you are worthy of doing so.

Sincerely,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator