How did you tell your kids about your dx?

December 27, 2006

I made it through the holidays with the façade of a smile despite a

barn burner of a headache & over whelming fatigue. It was important

that I did as it has been a rough year for the kids & for the family

with the loss of my Gramma this fall. The kids & I were close with

Gramma & we all took her passing very hard.

Now, for something even harder part. My parents know about my dx but

I asked them keep it close to the vest until I talked with the kids

after the holiday. I would have held off telling my parents too had

I not needed a ride for the lumbar puncture. My parents have done

their best but I could tell that some of the extended family were

fishing for additional details by the questions posed during the

holiday. I don't blame them, my parents that is, as everyone needs

someone to talk to.

My girls are 12 & 16. They know that I have not been well despite

best efforts to keep up the appearance that nothing is wrong.

Nevertheless, it's hard to hide the cosmetics of the recent flare

with the since resolved paralysis of my face and the granulomas

around my eyes…not to mention the new granulomas which greeted me

this morning with the swollen, Rocky Balboa type nose that I have

longed for all my life. As Red Green says… " If women don't find you

handsome, they should at least find you handy. " Fortunately, I think

I have the 'handy' part covered and, if nothing else, have kept my

sense of humor about the rest.

The kids have minimal experience with chronic illness as most of

their exposure is limited to " so & so died…they were sick…they had

____ " . I have found a few useful websites regarding talking to

adolescents…they pretty much say the same thing…line up your facts,

sit the kids down & tell them with as little drama as possible.

Answer any of the questions that they have if you know the answer…get

answers to the rest. Maybe I'm making too much out of this…perhaps

my own fear of this is due to the emotional roller coaster I find

myself riding these days (what's up with that???).

Like a child beginning to walk, I find myself hesitant to release my

support though I know I must to take the next step. The kids are on

vacation from school so the time is right to talk with them…any

advice is sincerely welcome.

Peace & happiness, Tony

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