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One thing after another

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I know that it is so hard to keep up the faith. I too have had ribs fracture from all the years on prednisione. It sucks.

I also totally understand the want to be "well"-- I wish I knew the answer on how to do that.

When I get to where you are at-- is when I have to sit myself down, put on a guided imagery tape, or grab the virtual blanket and wrap myself into a self-loving cacoon. It is so important that we make ourself do this-- and know that even with where we are at physically and emotionally, that it is ok. The sadness and the joy, will both be with us---- and we can handle it. And if we can't, we give it to our loved ones for a short while, and they can carry the emotional burdens. We just have to let them...

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Just another week with a stupid disease and it all began so innocently...

I was feeling so much better I began swimming again for fitness. I

strained a muscle in my back which the doctor recommended a massage

therapist help with. The massage hurt somewhat, but nothing I did not

expect after being tight. 3 days later I was getting a full-body

nuclear bone scan, which the neurologist had ordered some time ago.

The thecnologist found a recently fractured rib! Turns out that when

the massage therapist and I " felt a pop " in my back it wasn't just a

rib moving, but that it fractured. This is the third fracture in 2

years that has happened from routine activities. Since I have been on

high doses of steroids for several years (up and down doses depending

on symptoms) I have been taking fosomax and extra vitiamin D/calcium.

My last bone density scan showed improvement, yet, here again is

fracture. Talk about discouraging. The fracture in my lfet foot from

18 months ago never healed and needed a pin surgically placed in the

bone. I don't want to think about my rib doing the same thing. I am

getting so tired. And family just shrugs it off. They act as if it is

a small wrinkle. The remicade is working so what are you depressed

about? Well, to me, it seems I trade one problem for another. It's not

enough for me to not be sick, I want to be " well " too. Too high a

goal? I still hang onto wanting to be myself again. Unrealistic? Boy,

am I rambling...

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