Robynn

[Guest guest]

I just want to thank Robynn, too, if you are the one who posted Rules

of the Pouch. After reading that 4 times, I am finally feeling more

hopeful about the surgery. I know from that article that there is a

way to keep the weight off which is my ultimate goal. Do you follow

the Rulles of the Pouch? I have one question, drinking the water may

help a lot but do you still want to eat even with the water or in

spite of the water? I never really feel contented when I am full and

I can eat again soon after a big meal. This is what has always scared

me about the operation. I still have about 8 pounds to go so I am not

eating big meals. It feels like a slow process but I will make it. And

thank you, Robynn, for your wondrous story about this French guy. What

happened between you and your husband? I have heard that this

operation has a big side effect; divorces. I am curious because I did

my dissertation on the sexuality of large women and I wonder how this

is affecting the sexuality of less large women. It sounds as if you

and the French guy are not having any trouble. With affection, Lilka

[Guest guest]

Yes, I did post that...I'm glad it is helpful. I try to follow those rules, but I am not perfect...it's an adjustment process.

Post surgery, at least in the beginning, you just aren't oriented towards food. After a while, you might have an appetite again (I do some days more thna others), and that requires a little bit more of the mental focus to remind yourself of where you were, and where you want to be. I think, "OK, I did this major draconian thing to my body, and I can't just be lax about how I treat it, now. Look at where I was, do I want to be there again?" These are powerful motivators. When I drink the water, i really don't want to eat more, because it is physically uncomfortable. But, i do struggle with wanting to eat and drink together...41 years of habit isn't easy to break.

As for the effect on the marriage...Steve and I were separated for over a year before I had the surgery, but we were still close friends, and he hoped to reconcile...and I vacillated. Sexually, I gained weight shortly after we got together. He never criticized or made me feel unattractive...but he wasn't very sexually aggressive with me. He finally admitted to me (after i had the surgery and it was being successful) that my weight gain had sort of taken away from his attraction to me. He told me he thought I was beautiful even when I was heavy...but that I didn't wear lingerie or act as sexual when I got really big. Steve is long and lean, except he sports quite a tummy, and sometimes, the combination of our tummies got in the way a bit.)

With , I did feel more sexy (after all, I was 90 lbs. less than my heaviest...and right now, I don't really look overweight, even though technically I need to lose 14 lbs. before my BMI isn't in the "overweight" category.) And the sex was better. Partly due to his technical skills...and partly due to my increased confidence.

Hopefully that helps. There is a part of me tat wishes my situation were less complicated...because I wonder whether Steve and I could somehow fix our sexual relationship (one of the biggest reasons I left) now that I'm thinner and more confident. Sadly, there was so much water under the bridge that I just couldn't seem to find my way back to him...I couldn't open up to him.

I can't get there from where I am...we'll see about some future point. Stranger things have happened.

glad to help! Keep up the good work, you are almost there.

Robynn Lilka wrote:

I just want to thank Robynn, too, if you are the one who posted Rules of the Pouch. After reading that 4 times, I am finally feeling more hopeful about the surgery. I know from that article that there is a way to keep the weight off which is my ultimate goal. Do you follow the Rulles of the Pouch? I have one question, drinking the water may help a lot but do you still want to eat even with the water or in spite of the water? I never really feel contented when I am full and I can eat again soon after a big meal. This is what has always scared me about the operation. I still have about 8 pounds to go so I am not eating big meals. It feels like a slow process but I will make it. And thank you, Robynn, for your wondrous story about this French guy. What happened between you and your husband? I have heard that this operation

has a big side effect; divorces. I am curious because I did my dissertation on the sexuality of large women and I wonder how this is affecting the sexuality of less large women. It sounds as if you and the French guy are not having any trouble. With affection, Lilka