being crazy and feeling sympathy

[Guest guest]

I was so touched by the post about feeling crazy because nobody can

" see " our problems. I was really shocked the other day when I saw a

recent photo of myself. The bags under my eyes and the sagging skin

from my facial paralysis was shocking. The change has been gradual so

many people take it for granted but what I saw was illness. It made me

very sad. I wanted to throw away every picture of myself. And my

friends simply don't want to hear about any of it any more. I get

" shut down " if I start to mention anything. So all the fear, anger

just gets bottled up. Thank the stars you are all here. I really would

go crazy if I couldn't read you posts!!!!!

The illness has definitely made me more aware and sympathetic to those

with problems. Sometimes I think I would like to be a patient advocate

or something - to help people who are stuggling with the medical

system. It can all be so frightening. But I'm afraid of being around

sick people because of all the drugs I am on. Well, enough rambling

for today.