Guest guest Posted January 15, 2007 Report Share Posted January 15, 2007 My theory is that we must keep laughing or we get old and wrinkled. Thought you guys might enjoy this. You must remember that I have a strange sense of humor. >> Diary of a Snow Shoveler >> >> December 8: 6:00 PM. >> It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took >> our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft >> flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So >> romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! >> >> December 9: >> We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch >> of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely >> place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. >> Shoveled for the first time in years, felt like a boy again. I did both >> our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along >> and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to >> shovel again. What a perfect life. >> >> December 12: >> The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My >> neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. >> No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by >> the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think >> that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. >> >> December 14: >> Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The >> cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I >> warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The >> snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I >> didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll >> certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff >> so. >> >> December 15: >> 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow >> tires for the wife's car and two extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The >> wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's >> silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all. >> >> December 16: >> Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway >> putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which >> I think was very cruel. >> >> December 17: >> Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity >> was off for five hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. >> Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I >> should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God, I hate it >> when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living >> room. >> >> December 20: >> Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. >> More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to >> find a neighborhood kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy >> playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store >> around to see about buying a snow blower, and they're out. Might have >> another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to >> shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. >> >> December 22: >> Bob was right about a white Christmas, because 13 more inches of the >> white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt 'til >> August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out and shovel, >> and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed >> again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob, who has a plow on >> his truck, for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think >> the asshole is lying. >> >> December 23: >> Only 2" of snow today, and it warmed up to "0". The wife wanted me to >> decorate the front of the house this morning. What, is she nuts!!! Why >> didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think >> she's lying. >> >> December 24: >> 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was >> having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives >> that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow and beat him to death with >> my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to >> finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour >> and throws snow all over everywhere I've just been! Tonight the wife >> wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I >> was too busy watching for the Goddamn snowplow. >> >> December 25: >> Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the shit slop tonight. Snowed in. >> The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then >> the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the >> head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's >> a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more >> time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. >> >> December 26: >> Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER >> idea. She's really getting on my nerves. >> >> December 27: >> Temperature dropped to -30, and the pipes froze. Plumber came after 14 >> hours of waiting for him; he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my >> pipes. >> >> December 28: >> Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is drivin g me crazy! >> >> December 29: >> 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. >> That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? >> >> December 30: >> Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He is now suing me for a >> million dollars; not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying >> to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her >> mother. 9" predicted. >> >> December 31: >> I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. >> >> January 8: >> Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. >> Why am I tied to the bed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2007 Report Share Posted January 16, 2007 Laughter is the best medicine sometimes!tiodaat@... wrote: My theory is that we must keep laughing or we get old and wrinkled. Thought you guys might enjoy this. You must remember that I have a strange sense of humor. >> Diary of a Snow Shoveler >> >> December 8: 6:00 PM. >> It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took >> our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft >> flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So >> romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! >> >> December 9: >> We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch >> of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely >> place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. >> Shoveled for the first time in years, felt like a boy again. I did both >> our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along >> and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to >> shovel again. What a perfect life. >> >> December 12: >> The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My >> neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. >> No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by >> the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think >> that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. >> >> December 14: >> Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The >> cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I >> warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The >> snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I >> didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll >> certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff >> so. >> >> December 15: >> 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow >> tires for the wife's car and two extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The >> wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's >> silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all. >> >> December 16: >> Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway >> putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which >> I think was very cruel. >> >> December 17: >> Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity >> was off for five hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. >> Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I >> should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God, I hate it >> when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living >> room. >> >> December 20: >> Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. >> More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to >> find a neighborhood kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy >> playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store >> around to see about buying a snow blower, and they're out. Might have >> another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to >> shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. >> >> December 22: >> Bob was right about a white Christmas, because 13 more inches of the >> white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt 'til >> August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out and shovel, >> and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed >> again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob, who has a plow on >> his truck, for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think >> the asshole is lying. >> >> December 23: >> Only 2" of snow today, and it warmed up to "0". The wife wanted me to >> decorate the front of the house this morning. What, is she nuts!!! Why >> didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think >> she's lying. >> >> December 24: >> 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was >> having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives >> that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow and beat him to death with >> my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to >> finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour >> and throws snow all over everywhere I've just been! Tonight the wife >> wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I >> was too busy watching for the Goddamn snowplow. >> >> December 25: >> Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the shit slop tonight. Snowed in. >> The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then >> the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the >> head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's >> a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more >> time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. >> >> December 26: >> Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER >> idea. She's really getting on my nerves. >> >> December 27: >> Temperature dropped to -30, and the pipes froze. Plumber came after 14 >> hours of waiting for him; he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my >> pipes. >> >> December 28: >> Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is drivin g me crazy! >> >> December 29: >> 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. >> That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? >> >> December 30: >> Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He is now suing me for a >> million dollars; not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying >> to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her >> mother. 9" predicted. >> >> December 31: >> I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. >> >> January 8: >> Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. >> Why am I tied to the bed? Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Yahoo! Travel to find your fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2007 Report Share Posted January 16, 2007 The friend who sent it to me originally is also spending her first winter in Colorado. she's not all that excited! LOL! Take care of you my friend, Hugs, Tracie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2007 Report Share Posted January 16, 2007 Well I’m here in Colorado living it and I still think it’s funny! J Marla Bramer " Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible " From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of tiodaat@... Sent: Tuesday, January 16, 2007 12:30 AM To: blnkr2@...; DBetp@...; fishon89045@...; TFELD@...; lfeldhaus@...; Bigtf@...; dnhnsn@...; angieinchico@...; pbear777@...; PHulen4763@...; seh1@...; KangiKanti7@...; kirkley@...; iphoto@...; blopes1967@...; neurosarcoidosis ; Allblondie1@... Subject: Diary of a Snowstorm My theory is that we must keep laughing or we get old and wrinkled. Thought you guys might enjoy this. You must remember that I have a strange sense of humor. >> Diary of a Snow Shoveler >> >> December 8: 6:00 PM. >> It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took >> our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft >> flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So >> romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! >> >> December 9: >> We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch >> of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely >> place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. >> Shoveled for the first time in years, felt like a boy again. I did both >> our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along >> and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to >> shovel again. What a perfect life. >> >> December 12: >> The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My >> neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. >> No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by >> the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think >> that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. >> >> December 14: >> Snow, lovely snow! 8 " last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The >> cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I >> warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The >> snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I >> didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll >> certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff >> so. >> >> December 15: >> 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow >> tires for the wife's car and two extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The >> wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's >> silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all. >> >> December 16: >> Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway >> putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which >> I think was very cruel. >> >> December 17: >> Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity >> was off for five hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. >> Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I >> should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God, I hate it >> when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living >> room. >> >> December 20: >> Electricity's back on, but had another 14 " of the damn stuff last night. >> More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to >> find a neighborhood kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy >> playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store >> around to see about buying a snow blower, and they're out. Might have >> another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to >> shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. >> >> December 22: >> Bob was right about a white Christmas, because 13 more inches of the >> white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt 'til >> August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out and shovel, >> and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed >> again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob, who has a plow on >> his truck, for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think >> the asshole is lying. >> >> December 23: >> Only 2 " of snow today, and it warmed up to " 0 " . The wife wanted me to >> decorate the front of the house this morning. What, is she nuts!!! Why >> didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think >> she's lying. >> >> December 24: >> 6 " . Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was >> having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives >> that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow and beat him to death with >> my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to >> finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour >> and throws snow all over everywhere I've just been! Tonight the wife >> wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I >> was too busy watching for the Goddamn snowplow. >> >> December 25: >> Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the shit slop tonight. Snowed in. >> The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then >> the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the >> head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's >> a fricking idiot. If I have to watch " It's a Wonderful Life " one more >> time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. >> >> December 26: >> Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER >> idea. She's really getting on my nerves. >> >> December 27: >> Temperature dropped to -30, and the pipes froze. Plumber came after 14 >> hours of waiting for him; he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my >> pipes. >> >> December 28: >> Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is drivin g me crazy! >> >> December 29: >> 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. >> That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? >> >> December 30: >> Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He is now suing me for a >> million dollars; not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying >> to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her >> mother. 9 " predicted. >> >> December 31: >> I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. >> >> January 8: >> Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. >> Why am I tied to the bed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 20, 2007 Report Share Posted January 20, 2007 Ya I be, people who just moved here don’t believe us when we tell them this is the unusual, as we normally get a little snow then it warms up and melts away and does this all summer, at least where I live in No. Co. usually my husband can play golf year round including Jan. they just look at me like I’m crazy but in the 21 years we’ve lived here I do not remember a winter with snow on the ground all year long. We are expected to get more snow today and tomorrow. I have been stuck at least 3X now, and today I took my husband 4 wheel drive, but couldn’t remember how to get it out of 4 wheel drive and ended up just spinning wheels, my husband loves those phone calls from me, LOLJ Hope you are feeling better! God bless, Marla Bramer " Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible " From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of tiodaat@... Sent: Tuesday, January 16, 2007 8:38 PM To: Neurosarcoidosis Subject: Re: Diary of a Snowstorm The friend who sent it to me originally is also spending her first winter in Colorado. she's not all that excited! LOL! Take care of you my friend, Hugs, Tracie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.