Friends!

[Guest guest]

OK so I was gone for the day, now Im back, sorry...

I just had to blow off some steam, ever since I started getting

seriously ill Ive notice a steep decline in the number of friends who

stop by or call, and todays just sealed the deal!

In years gone past our house was the gathering place, people stopped

by regularly and the phone was always ringing, so much soin fact that

we had to set a no phone day once a week so we could have a little

peace around here. These were all frineds that called constantly, or

came by to eat, or just hang around, and we loved it, so who wouldnt?

There is nothing like having your frineds around al l the time, and

then....

Theyll call and ask how things are going, and Liz and I have learned

to just say fine, just because there was a time when these people

really wanted to know what was happening in our lives, is became clear

that they were uncomfortable hearing the truth, so we stopped telling

it to them. But that wasnt enough because when they ouwld come over I

would be sick and you could see in their eyes just how uncomfortable

they were being around a sick person, so they eventually stopped

coming by and most of them stopped calling. Mind you these werent

just causal friends, these were people we had been there for over many

years, when they were broke we helped, when they were sick we stopped

our lives to help them, when they lost someone we helped them take

care of all the things that have to be done, and we were always there

with a shoulder when things got bad, nope not causal friends, but

evidentally fair weather friends, because as soon as things got rough

for us they scattered like roaches when the lights come on.

So today, I had pretty much come to the realization that I had been

reduced to two firneds that still wanted to be a part of our lives,

one is a 30 year old who I have been as close as a brother to for

years, hes the guy Im going out with later this afternoon, and has

always been steadfast, to the point that when Liz got overwhelmed last

month and had to have someone to talk to about whats going on, Jon and

his wife just showed up out of the blue and dragged her off for a

couple of days camping by the river where she could blow off some

steam, and then when they got back took both of us out for a wonderful

dinner, these are real friends. The other is Rob, a young guy Ive

known since he was in high school who has always relied upon us since

his parents passed away, weve been there for this kid a millionb times

and today when I called him because I havent heard from him in weeks,

something that has never happened before, he asked the enevitable

question, how are you feeling, so I answered truthfully figuring if he

was uncomfortable hearing the truth we might as well get it the hell

over with, and sure enough he stuttered something about being sorry

and he had to go fix lunch, (at 1030??) so he got off the phone, and I

now know that I have only one friend left that cares enough to look

past the health issues, and understands Im still the same person I

always was, I just shake like hell now.

Now I have to figure out who to be mad at, this damndable disease that

has stollen just about everything from my family and I, myself for

being too trusting in these people, or my friends themselves for being

too weak to stand by us.

God Im tired.

Sorry to be such a downer, just had to get it off my chest as they say.