Seeking Connection

July 8, 2001

I'm crying, but I don't know why...I feel some depression around this surgery...maybe because I'm even in the position where I need it...mortality reality?!

I'm having surgery 7/24 and you're doing what I'm doing...I think the whole process is very intense...very overwhelming...and very normal!

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 59

Surgery date 7/24/01

going self pay - Dr Baltasar Spain

Check out the

Bellingham Support for WLS

WWW.lookin2bthin.homestead.com

July 8, 2001

Dory - You are going to been fine. I am pre-op with Dr. Rabkin as well. These are all somewhat the same types of fears that we all have. You are going through the normal stages.

Get a warm snuggle robe or use two of the hospital nightgowns. People have said that they wear one the normal way and they use the other like a robe. Good advise about the slippers...and I am going to get the slip in type. If you are really worried about your feet, treat yourself to a pedicure. I do -- twice a month! I love them! And don''t worry about your drawers, as you will be back soon enough to deal with them.

Good luck on your weight loss journey! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers on your surgery day!

((hugs))

gail

July 8, 2001

Dory:

You are not alone. Face it, because we are all Morbidly Obese, we all have

callused feet, rub marks between our thighs, sagging breasts, facial hair,

etc. Forget about it. You need to think about the important things now.

You are going to be fine. Actually you are going to be better because of

this surgery. Buy the robe and get a sturdy pair of slippers (leave the

bunny ones at home). You are going to need them because you need to walk,

no matter how much it hurts. It will keep you from getting clots and

dissipate the gas caused by the surgery and the anesthetic. Walking will

make you feel better. After your surgery, as you lose your weight,

miraculously the calluses will disappear from your feet (mine have). The

rub mark between your legs will fade. And as far as that messy drawer, when

you regain your stamina and energy from not carry all that weight you will

be there to clean it out yourself. Yes you will still sag but that's

because there's no fat to hold up all that loose skin.

Yes, the Barium test is terrible. I am not going to lie to you. Mine was

even more terrible because I was so swollen internally they did not get a

good reading the first day and I had to go back the next day and redo it.

That was the only time I cried in the hospital. The test is not painful,

just miserable. Two things are bad about it. Maneuvering from the gurney

to the table in your post-op condition and the miserable taste of the

liquid. Psyche your self up and you can do it. I like to tell people my

experiences because for me, if I at least know what to expect, it makes it

easier.

Good luck, feel free to post to me if I can help you.

Kathie from MD

Seeking Connection

> I don't post very often (once every two months). I'm scheduled for

> surgery on July 30 with Dr. Rabkin. I don't think I'm nervous about

> the actual surgery...is that a bad thing? I have anxiety around my

> thickly calloused feet being exposed to people. I'm stressed that if

> something happens to me and I die, someone will have to go clean out

> my highly unorganized cabinets in my classroom at school and at

> home. I haven't bought a robe so I don't have to walk the hospital

> hallway in my butt-exposing designer robe, but that is easy to

> remedy. I'm nervous about the post-op barium test(I have horific

> memories around barium exams when I was 5). I have weird guilt

> issues, like I should just diet and lose the weight rather than have

> surgery...like I'm cheating or something (I'm usually able to self-

> talk this one back to reality). I'm crying, but I don't know why...I

> feel some depression around this surgery...maybe because I'm even in

> the position where I need it...mortality reality?!

>

> I'm open and asking for words of comfort, wisdom...butt

> kicking...anyone?!

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

July 8, 2001

Hi, I am doing my pre-op testing, I have never heard

of post-op barium testing can you please explain?

Thanx,Kathy

--- Kathie khalbert@...> wrote:

> Dory:

>

> You are not alone. Face it, because we are all

> Morbidly Obese, we all have

> callused feet, rub marks between our thighs,

> sagging breasts, facial hair,

> etc. Forget about it. You need to think about the

> important things now.

> You are going to be fine. Actually you are going to

> be better because of

> this surgery. Buy the robe and get a sturdy pair

> of slippers (leave the

> bunny ones at home). You are going to need them

> because you need to walk,

> no matter how much it hurts. It will keep you from

> getting clots and

> dissipate the gas caused by the surgery and the

> anesthetic. Walking will

> make you feel better. After your surgery, as you

> lose your weight,

> miraculously the calluses will disappear from your

> feet (mine have). The

> rub mark between your legs will fade. And as far as

> that messy drawer, when

> you regain your stamina and energy from not carry

> all that weight you will

> be there to clean it out yourself. Yes you will

> still sag but that's

> because there's no fat to hold up all that loose

> skin.

>

> Yes, the Barium test is terrible. I am not going to

> lie to you. Mine was

> even more terrible because I was so swollen

> internally they did not get a

> good reading the first day and I had to go back the

> next day and redo it.

> That was the only time I cried in the hospital. The

> test is not painful,

> just miserable. Two things are bad about it.

> Maneuvering from the gurney

> to the table in your post-op condition and the

> miserable taste of the

> liquid. Psyche your self up and you can do it. I

> like to tell people my

> experiences because for me, if I at least know what

> to expect, it makes it

> easier.

>

> Good luck, feel free to post to me if I can help

> you.

>

> Kathie from MD

>

> Seeking Connection

>

> > I don't post very often (once every two months).

> I'm scheduled for

> > surgery on July 30 with Dr. Rabkin. I don't think

> I'm nervous about

> > the actual surgery...is that a bad thing? I have

> anxiety around my

> > thickly calloused feet being exposed to people.

> I'm stressed that if

> > something happens to me and I die, someone will

> have to go clean out

> > my highly unorganized cabinets in my classroom at

> school and at

> > home. I haven't bought a robe so I don't have to

> walk the hospital

> > hallway in my butt-exposing designer robe, but

> that is easy to

> > remedy. I'm nervous about the post-op barium

> test(I have horific

> > memories around barium exams when I was 5). I

> have weird guilt

> > issues, like I should just diet and lose the

> weight rather than have

> > surgery...like I'm cheating or something (I'm

> usually able to self-

> > talk this one back to reality). I'm crying, but I

> don't know why...I

> > feel some depression around this surgery...maybe

> because I'm even in

> > the position where I need it...mortality reality?!

> >

> > I'm open and asking for words of comfort,

> wisdom...butt

> > kicking...anyone?!

> >

>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

> >

July 8, 2001

Kathy:

The post-op Barium test is done to make sure you do not have a staple line

leak. Although all precautions are taken during surgery so that there is no

leak, this is a second test that is done. You drink the dreadful barium and

then they watch it go through your system via X-ray (or whatever the

technology is). It is usually done the next full day after your surgery.

Kathie

Seeking Connection

> >

> > > I don't post very often (once every two months).

> > I'm scheduled for

> > > surgery on July 30 with Dr. Rabkin. I don't think

> > I'm nervous about

> > > the actual surgery...is that a bad thing? I have

> > anxiety around my

> > > thickly calloused feet being exposed to people.

> > I'm stressed that if

> > > something happens to me and I die, someone will

> > have to go clean out

> > > my highly unorganized cabinets in my classroom at

> > school and at

> > > home. I haven't bought a robe so I don't have to

> > walk the hospital

> > > hallway in my butt-exposing designer robe, but

> > that is easy to

> > > remedy. I'm nervous about the post-op barium

> > test(I have horific

> > > memories around barium exams when I was 5). I

> > have weird guilt

> > > issues, like I should just diet and lose the

> > weight rather than have

> > > surgery...like I'm cheating or something (I'm

> > usually able to self-

> > > talk this one back to reality). I'm crying, but I

> > don't know why...I

> > > feel some depression around this surgery...maybe

> > because I'm even in

> > > the position where I need it...mortality reality?!

> > >

> > > I'm open and asking for words of comfort,

> > wisdom...butt

> > > kicking...anyone?!

> > >

> >

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

> > >

July 8, 2001

Hi Dory,

I see that other people have responded to your post, but I'll put my two

cents in too!

My idea: treat yourself to a pedicure before surgery. Around here they're

about $20 - 25. I get one every three weeks because 1) at my weight I find

it hard to do myself, 2) in Houston it's hot and I wear sandals all the time

and 3) I'm just bone vain! I'm assuming you're a girl, but I've seen lots of

guys have pedicures too. You don't have to have the red polish.

I'm pre-op and finishing up my tests. I emphathize with your anxiety, and

have a few buckets of my own I choose to pick up and carry around. Bottom

line: the docs and nurses have seen it all. My PCP still jokes me about the

time I was in the hospital with pneumonia and had " terminal bad hair! "

I think we focus on the sillier, exterior things because we're afraid of

looking at the real fears. This is serious surgery. But we're choosing to do

it to save our lives. We're making a courageous and life-saving decision.

And our lives will completely change in many ways, and that IS scary! I feel

the same way.

Try meditation (good books and tapes on that) and see if that helps. It does

for me.

Sending peaceful thoughts and blessings,

Robyn