Thanks for sharing the long & depressing stuff

October 28, 2004

I sometimes wonder how the next day will be and if Elijah will even

wake up the next morning.

I want to thank you all for sharing your stories. It helps so much

just to read that you all have simalar feelings. Crazy that so many

people touched by mito illnesses have to suffer so. Lately I have

found myself wondering if I will ever get to the point where I pray

that he goes to heaven instead of praying for one more day. I know

he time is short. He has lost so much. Just yesterday I thought that

he just might make is 2nd birthday on Feb 15. Many of you have

several children that are affected with Mito. It only confirms that

fact that I will never have a biological child nor do I want to

chance having another child with Leigh's or born to suffer. I am

sometimes thankful that he was our first and diagnosed before I

became pregnant again. I just got the news that a child that is

Eli's age with the same illness had a little sister a couple of

months ago. She was and opps and just a few days ago was diagnosed

with Leigh's too. I think of them all the time. I think of how she

had one child dying and now she has two.

On a positive note I can say that having my little Eli has changed

my life. I have seen so much good in people. I see what many don't

let others see. Eli has the power to suspend time. When you hold him

the world stands still and nothing else matters. God hasn't shown us

what life will bring for my husband and I when Eli is gone. I don't

think now is the time.

I pray that for all of us there are many good times ahead. Somedays

it does seem like we are in a deep dark whole and can't quite find

any light. For now I get all my light from my little Elijah. Soon I

will have to look for a new bulb. It may be dark for a long time. I

can only hope that there is another bulb.

God bless all of you!!!!!

Ann Mother to Elijah 20months old -Leigh's disease- no know defect

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