Way off topic

March 24, 2001

In a message dated 3/24/01 6:10:40 PM Pacific Standard Time,

hanncoll@... writes:

> On a related note, though, has anyone else had their religious beliefs

> shaken to the core by autism? I find myself spending a great deal of my time

> being angry with God for not healing my son and allowing so many people to

> suffer. Then I feel bad about that and go back to hating the big

> pharmaceutical companies.

>

> I often find myself annoyed or angered by things I hear at church, too.

> Sometimes it seems like people are saying if I had faith enough God would

> heal Collin. I believe that Jesus died for my sins, but I'm still suffering

> here on Earth, so what was the point? And people can be so crass and

> insensitive. Our head pastor, when we told him about Collin's diagnosis,

> said " Well, God gives special children to special parents. " I wanted to

>

,

Oh yeah-been there (and on some days-I'm still there). Sometimes this is a

lonely life (it seems). When I turned 40 this year, I realized that while

all my friends were " moving on " in life, I'm still where I was 10 years ago

('s 10 now)-taking care of a " preschooler " with the same

outfit(comfortable yet fuctional), ponytail, 2 minute makeup etc.

But we know how to appreciate lots of things that others take for granted.

The joy I experienced when was potty trained was so much greater than

Mom's of NT kids. The deeper the valley-the greater the joy when you get up

the mountain.

Jesus himself said that whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest

in the kingdom of heaven and who is more like a child than our kids. He also

said that whoever welcomes a little child in My name welcomes Me. I know we

have treasures in heaven because we have devoted our lives to our kids, who

happen to be " the greatest in the kingdom of heaven " . And I don't think

autism was God's desire for us but He can make some good come out of it.

Sorry about the long sermon-it's been one of those days here too.

Ann in Memphis

March 24, 2001

Gosh ,

I feel very similar to you. I feel that I am a religious person, but since

's diagnosis, I am having a hard time making sense of everything. My

mother died when I was eight and I figured that since I had to practically

become the head of my family at such a young age, that God and I had an

understanding that nothing else catastrophic would occur in my life. (Kind

of like a get out of jail free card.) So I have been upset at God lately. I

really feel like there is some reason this is happening. That there is going

to be a greater good out of this. But when I stop and I think about all of

my friends who have perfectly happy, healthy children and Mothers to help

them; I get into a funk that is really awful. I don't have either of those.

I don't get to go on vacations with my husband alone and not worry about the

children. We barely get to go out ever! None the less Hawaii, Cancun, Italy

etc... So yes, I feel like you quite a bit. But then try to keep things in

perspective because it could be worse.

Take care,

Becky

March 24, 2001

In need of some support, having one of those days, big pity party

day. I just feel like all of this has taken me over, every waking

minute ,thought, even sleep is spent trying to figure out how to beat

autism. Husband thinks I am going off the deep end most days. Maybe

but I just cant except that I cant fix this, I will find a way no

matter how many hours I spend searching for the answer. How are all

of you balancing your time, is this consuming anyone else? Am I

alone. Sure feel alone alot. My nine year old said Mom It just isnt

fair, Why do kids get autism? I couldnt answer. Sorry about my

attitude just needed to vent a little. I get a little depressed some

days really wanted someone to listen. Thank you LIsa

March 24, 2001

Must be something in the air -- or it's just a great day for a pity party.

I had one today, too.

, you're not alone, although I completely know the feeling. We're all

here to support each other even if no one else on this planet can understand

or care. I don't know what I'd do if I truly had to do this alone -- go

crazy, I guess!

I love you guys! You're my family more than my bio family is, sometimes.

On a related note, though, has anyone else had their religious beliefs

shaken to the core by autism? I find myself spending a great deal of my time

being angry with God for not healing my son and allowing so many people to

suffer. Then I feel bad about that and go back to hating the big

pharmaceutical companies.

I often find myself annoyed or angered by things I hear at church, too.

Sometimes it seems like people are saying if I had faith enough God would

heal Collin. I believe that Jesus died for my sins, but I'm still suffering

here on Earth, so what was the point? And people can be so crass and

insensitive. Our head pastor, when we told him about Collin's diagnosis,

said " Well, God gives special children to special parents. " I wanted to

scream at him: I didn't ask to be special!!!

Anyway, sorry this is so disorganized -- sort of like my mind most of the

time! , we're here and we're all in the boat together.

Take care,

> In need of some support, having one of those days, big pity party

> day. I just feel like all of this has taken me over, every waking

> minute ,thought, even sleep is spent trying to figure out how to beat

> autism. Husband thinks I am going off the deep end most days. Maybe

> but I just cant except that I cant fix this, I will find a way no

> matter how many hours I spend searching for the answer. How are all

> of you balancing your time, is this consuming anyone else? Am I

> alone. Sure feel alone alot. My nine year old said Mom It just isnt

> fair, Why do kids get autism? I couldnt answer. Sorry about my

> attitude just needed to vent a little. I get a little depressed some

> days really wanted someone to listen. Thank you LIsa

>

March 24, 2001

, I have also went to bed and dreamed of what did I need to do to help

Evan. I have had autism coming in and out of my dreams and partial waking

times so much that I could not figure where one left off and the other

began. Only some other major happening can burst through most of the time.

My husband's heart attack two years ago, his minor strokes that is

happenings now, Evan's brothers' RAD behaviors. Now I feel like I am being

torn apart trying to balance all these. How can we help it. Some children

ARE recovered. The younger the better. But even the older children can

improve. How far can we take our child? What more can WE do? these go in

and out of the head and maybe we do go off the deep end but how can we help

it when our children's lives on involved--their future.

Betty

----- Original Message -----

From: lisacna@...